Little league baseball coaching FRUSTRATION!!!

[Nathans_Dad]

Hey guys, just need to vent and hear some advice from someone else who has been or is there now.

I am assistant coaching my son's 7 year old little league team. This is his first year of coach pitch, I also coached (or helped coach) two of his three tee ball seasons. I am honestly very happy with Nathan's progress, he has become one of the top 4 hitters on the team and is doing better with his fielding and throwing. We play catch or work on hitting at least 3 times a week plus practice once a week and games. Anyhow, my son's performance isn't the topic of the post.

I am starting to get frustrated with some of the boys on the team. We have 12 kids on the team and easily 6 of them still cannot hit the ball in a game. Now, I don't have an issue if a kid is trying his best and struggling, I'll stay late after practice or whatever to work with him. My frustration is coming from the fact that the boys that are struggling are the same boys who never pay attention in practice and who's parents don't work with them at all at home. I get very tired of telling the same 3-4 boys to pay attention every play in a game. I don't get upset if someone doesn't make a play but it frustrates the hell out of me when a kid is not paying attention the whole game and then a ball gets hit right by them into the outfield and they never look up from the nice dirt mound they have created!

Honestly a lot of the frustration is also because the team has yet to win a game. I think they are 0-7 or some such. Today we lost to a team that was only fielding 5 kids! 9 on 5 and we STILL lost. We can't play defense because there are only 5-6 kids who pay attention and can actually throw or catch and the head coach insists on a strict rotation of positions every inning. It's painful to see a lineup with two kids who cannot field, throw or catch playing pitcher and first base in the same inning. We have trouble scoring runs because half the team strikes out every time.

I understand that the long term goal of youth sports is to have fun and learn some basics of a sport, I get that. I try to keep that in mind and keep things in perspective. It's tough when the kids are getting frustrated with the losing and I'm sure the parents are getting tired of losing every game too. Before this season we lost a good player off the team because his parents wanted to move him to a team with better kids on it. It doesn't help that the local little league association allows coaches to stack their teams by taking good kids off of multiple tee ball teams and making one "super team" for coach pitch. We have faced some teams where 11 out of the 12 kids can hit the ball every time up. Of course then the other teams get left with the random pool draw kids, many of which have never played before.

To be clear, I NEVER yell at a child or express my frustration...I am all smiles during every game and practice. The only child I even tell what he did wrong on a play is my own son. It's just getting tough to put on the smiley face for every practice and watch the same kids play in the dirt instead of watching and then do the same every week at the game and hurt the other kids who are trying.

Ok, rant off. Thanks, I feel better.

[McLovin]

7 years old is pretty young in baseball. at that age, at least half of the kids are just playing for something to do or to try it out, and won't be playing after a year or 2.

7 years old, you just can't take winning or losing seriously. Just work extra hard with the kids who seem like they like the game and are likely to continue.

You'll later regret it if you take it too seriously at that age, IMO.

[Nathans_Dad]

Yeah, I hear you. I really am not that into the wins and losses, I just wish the kids would win ONE so they could say they won a game this season.

I am beginning to wonder if we jinxed ourselves with the name...we're the Pirates. Maybe we should be the Yankees next year. At least then we could go get some good free agents.

[widgeon13]

You are playing a game, just imagine how their school teachers feel. Kids don't all develop at the same rate or all have the same level of interest in sports. You are fortunate that your son can have his father there and that you spend time practicing w/ him. Is that the same situation w/ all the other kids?

I'd see it as a success just to have the kids show up. Coaching at that level is always frustrating but I'm sure your efforts are appreciated by the other coaches and most of the kids.

Keep up the good work and I'm confident progress will follow.

[JeremyD]

Coaching boys - especially from 6-10 is like herding cats. If you are able to teach them anything you are making progress. After years of coaching I can tell you that 60% of the players are there cause their parents signed them up and 40% of them are playing because they want to play the game and learn. If you are luck enough to get those percentages reversed - you can end up with a pretty good team.

[Seahawk]

Rick,

When kids are seven, parents shouldn't keep score.

I had a very semi-average college career in baseball (I saw the ball very well, fielded the little orb perfectly, but my bat seemed contact adverse once HS pitchers faded to black), so I had to endure many "coaches".

I know you are not one of them.

The best ones just let everyone play.

[Nathans_Dad]

Seahawk, everyone does play. As I said, my frustration is not directed at the boys. It's still there though.

I think part of the problem is that I REALLY like baseball. I have season tickets to the Rangers, Nathan and I play catch all the time. I am a big baseball fan. If it were soccer, I doubt I would care as much. I just want these boys to reach their potential, whatever that may be at the young age of 7. I want them to feel like they have accomplished something at the end of the season instead of just putting on a uniform every Saturday to go play in the dirt and strike out three times.

Maybe my expectations are just too high for 7 year olds.

I will say this, coach pitch is light years better than tee ball...

[nostatic]

Are they having fun? If not, then something is wrong.

I battled with some parents when I coached my son's t-ball team. I made practice about fun and snuck in some skills when they weren't looking. Frankly at age 7 many kids are not able to focus very well. And that's...OK. The issue almost always is with the parents.

My first year of little league, at age 8, I played on a team that I don't think won a single game. I really didn't care. I was pretty serious about playing and practiced all the time. But thankfully I had great coaches in LL that really didn't focus on winning but instead made us care about "the game." And part of that is showing up.

[crustychief]

My personal rule. If my kids want to try a sport then they should have fun and not have a negative experience brought on by overbearing "experts". They are ball chasers at that age, not Cal Ripken or Catfish Hunter.

[crustychief]

Sorry nostatic posted as I was typing.

[nostatic]

the concept of fun can't be reiterated too many times

[Nathans_Dad]

Originally Posted by nostatic

But thankfully I had great coaches in LL that really didn't focus on winning but instead made us care about "the game." And part of that is showing up.

Agree 100%. That's exactly where my frustration is coming from. I could care less if they win or lose. I just want them to show up and try. If a boy is trying and strikes out every time, then I will work that much harder with him and encourage him.

The thing that gets me is when the kid just walks out there and is off in la-la land from the very start of the inning.

I know 7 year olds have a small attention span, but some of these kids just don't seem like they care if they are playing baseball or just playing in the dirt. Makes me wonder how much of the participation is being driven by the parents. Of course those are the same parents that aren't practicing with them either...

[nostatic]

Rick, the problem is that you're placing a judgement on both the kids and the parents (more on the parents). Some 7 year olds would rather be playing in the dirt, and may not even really see a difference. But their parents pay the entry fee and they presumably show up so they have a right to play as well as anyone else. As for the parents not practicing with them - is there a rule that says they have to? There could be a lot of reasons that the parents don't practice with the kids. But again, is that a requirement of the league?

I think you just have to accept that you will have different levels of interest on both kid and parent side of the equation. As they get older many will quit either because they really don't want to be there, or they don't want to ride the bench because they aren't very good. That is pretty much the inevitable path of youth sports. But imho at age 7 there is no prerequisite for the kids or the parents to really be involved. Sure, it would be nice if they were but some won't. And getting uptight about it won't change things or make it any better.

I think you just concentrate on trying to make it fun for the kids, try and keep them involved on some level, and have a stiff drink when you get home.

[Nathans_Dad]

LOL, amen to the stiff drink!

I guess I can see your point, but I wonder what the point is of signing your kid up for baseball if you have no intention them actually learning about baseball or improving their skills? Am I not just a babysitter for that hour every week then?

Parent participation isn't required, I just assume (always a mistake) that parents want their kids to do their best. I'm sure little Johnny's parents don't like to watch him strike out every time at the plate and I know little Johnny doesn't like striking out either. The problem is that neither Johnny nor his parents seem to want to put the work in to improve his swing at home so he might NOT strike out the next time around.

You're probably right, I should just put effort in with the kids that show effort and accept the ones that don't. It's a disappointing outlook though.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Don't take it seriously. My son's teams are the same way. Either you focus on fun or you get him on a traveling team.

[nostatic]

Kids want to please their parents and parents think their kids should play sports for any number of reasons. That's how you get the situation you describe.

I have my "5% rule", which I came to after years of trying to change the world of academia. If I can get 5% of any group to change their ways and adopt a new technology or better approach, it is a win. Not 100%. Not 50% Not 20%. But 5%. The reality is that very few want to change and are willing to put in the work necessary. I think kids sports have slightly better numbers but I think you get my drift.

Of course that didn't really stop me from trying - but I had to drink a lot less at the end of the day because I realized it was mostly in vain

[Tobra]

You just have to try and stay positive, keep in mind that some kids are slow of foot and mind, have ADD, crazy parents, starting out with a strike or two, so to speak.

Be patient, do what you can to keep them engaged.

[Looking_for_911]

Originally Posted by Nathans_Dad

Seahawk, everyone does play. As I said, my frustration is not directed at the boys. It's still there though.

I think part of the problem is that I REALLY like baseball. I have season tickets to the Rangers, Nathan and I play catch all the time. I am a big baseball fan. If it were soccer, I doubt I would care as much. I just want these boys to reach their potential, whatever that may be at the young age of 7. I want them to feel like they have accomplished something at the end of the season instead of just putting on a uniform every Saturday to go play in the dirt and strike out three times.

Maybe my expectations are just too high for 7 year olds.

I will say this, coach pitch is light years better than tee ball...

Sir, with all due respect I think a big part of the problem lies in these statements.

You are a fan. Nothing wrong with that, but you expect others to Care as much as You do. They won't. No one will. Maybe not even your son. He and others will care at their own levels, some more than you, many more less than you. Pure and simple.

You sound like a great dad for being so involved with your son and baseball.
I wish my dad had... we did motorcycle racing together, no other sports.

Unfortunately, many, many parents couldn't and shouldn't try to teach their kids diddly-squat about any sport. They may be doing you a favor by Not trying to "teach" the kids at home.

I can understand the frustration you have over the day dreamers that you can't seem to "reach" with your coaching techniques, but that's how it is with 7-year-olds.... heck, that's how it is with many kids much older!

Stay focused on the ones you can reach and possibly over time the ones that don't seem to care will simply wander off - figuratively speaking, of course - and you won't have to deal with them.

Your son's lucky to have you. And the other kids that pay attention to you are, too. The others, well. Their loss. Don't worry yourself over it.

[JavaBrewer]

Kudos for continuing to rotate the players into different positions vs. fielding the the "winner" team. That practice will stop once they hit 9+ age group as kids/parents/coaches starting prioritizing wins vs. experience. You will also notice that once they get older the boys that are just "killing time" will fall away and you'll have more committed kids on the team. At 7 most of these kids are there to have fun. I remember when my son was 7 - we had a couple boys in the outfield off looking for bugs when a ball came their way. At the end of the day most didn't know if they won or lost (even when it was a 10 run mercy rule) and were eager to get their post game snack.

If you're serious about the competition part then there's always a local travel league/team. Not saying your son will get better coaching/experience that route though...I have been there and done that...

[Nathans_Dad]

Nah, I'm not going to do select baseball at age 7. I don't even know if my son is into baseball enough for that. We let him make his own decisions about what extracurricular things he does. Every season we give him the options of what he can play and he chooses. The last 4 season he has picked baseball. Our next door neighbor (who's son is on the baseball team and who's dad is the head coach, btw) asked us if Nathan wanted to play basketball this winter. Their son is going to play. We asked Nathan and he thought about it for a day and eventually told us he thought he would like to just take a break over the winter and play baseball again in the spring. I won't lie, I was happy to hear he wanted a break (because I need one too!).