My 16 yr old is Driving me crazy with cars

desertt5 · 11-13-2009, 06:15 PM

Hi all,

I normally do not post here much, but today was a trying day. My 16 yr old son, oldest of 3 kids, wrecked his car today . I know this stuff happens, but here is the history.

1 week having provisional license: blows head gasket mudding in a Buick.

5 months later: Lets oil run low in 2000 Grand Am, spins rod bearing. He did say the oil light was on and it needed changed. I didn't realize ( and neither did he)there are 2 oil lights, one yellow and one red. Red one is REALLY bad.

1 month after rod bearings replaced, throws rod, same cylinder as bad bearing previously. Crank was not perfect when rod bearing was replaced. May not totally be his fault. Block has hole in it.

Junkyard motor with 70k installed after all new gaskets and timing parts put in it.

Hits back of soccer teamate's car after practice. Teammate pulled out then puts car in reverse. Neither one was paying attention. Me and the other Dad decide they can split cost of repair to my sons car.

5 months later, runs low on oil and spins rod bearing on replaced motor. (Still do not know where 2 qts of oil went. ) Crank not looking good again. Replace single rod bearing.

Goes thru yellow light driving Mom's Excursion. Rips front end off Ford Focus. He is found at fault.

Today, rearends lady in brand new Subaru. Minimal damage to the Subaru, but she called insurance right away and it is now claimed. My son will pay to fix his own car. His insurance will be going up I am sure.

Overall his car needs a new crank, hood, header panel bumper cover and 2 headlights. Some is from first wreck after soccer.

Overall a great kid, JROTC drill commander, Senior only requiring 2 credits to grad this year, and taking a college classes this year.

Is this any where near normal, or am I expecting too much after spending 20 years in the Marines. I know I would have killed my young troops for pulling stupid stuff not long ago.

Thanks, needed to vent some.

Danny_Ocean · 11-13-2009, 06:23 PM

Gogar · 11-13-2009, 06:25 PM

A few months of riding the bus should work.

onewhippedpuppy · 11-13-2009, 06:27 PM

I totalled 6 cars in my first 3 years of driving. Fast forward to 29, I haven't even had a ticket in years.

Who pays for this crap? Who does the work? I bet he would be better about checking his oil if he had to pay and fix the damage.

126coupe · 126coupe's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

A few months of riding the bus should work.

Are you kidding, if the bus does not work, that kid walks, finds a ride or hitchhikes, of course hitchhiking is plan c

billybek · billybek's Garage

He will have a lot more respect for a car that he pays for and insures himself.....

pwd72s · 11-13-2009, 06:32 PM

This sounds like deja vu all over again...who was it that posted a few years back? His daughter trashing the new Mustang he'd bought her? I'd search, but can't remember eoungh to do that.

Anyway...once he's paying the car bills, his lack of regard will change. I'd hate to promise more.

masraum · 11-13-2009, 06:37 PM

I don't know that I'd say it's "normal" exactly, but it's certainly not abnormal for lots of teens. Some have this sort of experience initially, some don't. You got one of the one's that's difficult for a parent.

I think you need to start (assuming he still has a car) having him check the oil daily in anything that he drives. Enforce it by going out with him to do it.

Rusty Heap · Rusty Heap's Garage

do you own any hand-guns? Please shot his gas pedal foot for the rest of us insurance paying members of society.

When is he going to KILL someone? and then shrug and go back to playing his X-BOX?

desertt5 · 06:49 PM

He is paying to fix everything since the second rod bearing. He helps too much taking his sister to gymanstics 4 days a week that i can't afford for him NOT to have a car. As of 11 month ago, he is making payments to me to buy the Grand Am. Upon graduation I will be putting all the money he's paid to books for school and giving him the car as a grad present. Obviuosly he has no idea on thhis.

HE is paying for all repairs the first wreck. He will be paying for insurance increase. Told him long ago, while he is doing good in high school I would pay insurance. Maybe started too easy from the get go.

I am stuck NOT being a total hardass because he does do tons to help me and the wife with his sister and litle bro with no complaints. The wife could not work full time if he didn't drive them to some things.

Do they really grow up and move out?? time for another beer

gt350mike · 11-13-2009, 06:54 PM

If his name is Abby Normal, then yes, he's normal. Otherwise, he not so he needs to walk for a LONG time before you let him drive anything.

My wife and I raised two boys and both of them have been involved in an accident that was their fault. I admit that I made a mistake by letting my oldest son have a very nice 87 944. I "thought" if he paid for 1/2 of the car, he would take care of it......I was so wrong. After he got a ticket for 100+, the car was gone and after he "walked" for a while, I replaced the 944 with a POS Subaru Legacy. He learned his lesson.

The other son was very mature for a teenager but still managed to wrecked my wife's car when he was 16. Since the accident, he's been the "model" driver.

Back to your situation, my threshold for pain would have been exceeded after the incident with his teammate. It will be really tough on you and your family having to shuttle him to class or practice, but he does not need to drive for a while until he matures. Good luck...I feel that you're walking down the same path that I just walked myself just a short time ago.

desertt5 · 11-13-2009, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybek

He will have a lot more respect for a car that he pays for and insures himself.....

I am hoping this is the key. Seemed to have worked for me. Should have started out this way maybe?

His Mom would ***** kill me is I shot him, even in the foot. Little mean blondes are no deal to mess with

stomachmonkey · 07:07 PM

If he were my kid he woulda been walking a long time ago.

If he fails to maintain his car that's his problem and if he can't pay to fix it, he walks.

He needs to have his own insurance policy before he gets behind the wheel again.

He goes no where near any vehicle that is not registered in his name.

The accidents are the real issue here.

I understand he's a huge help but with that history I would not put my other child in the car with him.

gt350mike · 11-13-2009, 07:04 PM

Sorry but I couldn't help myself.............

Tobra · Tobra's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

A few months of riding the bus should work.

Ding, ding. Let him take the LC for a while, or pedal a bike.

I would say that boy has lost his internal combustion powered transportation privileges, but it sounds like that would punish you more than him

onewhippedpuppy · 11-13-2009, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertt5

He is paying to fix everything since the second rod bearing. He helps too much taking his sister to gymanstics 4 days a week that i can't afford for him NOT to have a car. As of 11 month ago, he is making payments to me to buy the Grand Am. Upon graduation I will be putting all the money he's paid to books for school and giving him the car as a grad present. Obviuosly he has no idea on thhis.

HE is paying for all repairs the first wreck. He will be paying for insurance increase. Told him long ago, while he is doing good in high school I would pay insurance. Maybe started too easy from the get go.

I am stuck NOT being a total hardass because he does do tons to help me and the wife with his sister and litle bro with no complaints. The wife could not work full time if he didn't drive them to some things.

Do they really grow up and move out?? time for another beer

Why should he care? It doesn't affect him. Until he feels the pain, he probably won't change. Usually the right thing isn't the easiest option.

I started shaping up when I slid out in front of an old T-bird, which smashed in the passenger side door on my Dodge truck. Parents wouldn't fix it, I didn't have any money, so I drove a 1 door truck for months. Try hauling a girl when entry requires sliding past the steering wheel and across the seat. Big pimpin' baby!

924slover · 11-13-2009, 07:58 PM

not only make him pay for the repair but make him do the work so he see's that it's easier to take care of the car than fix it. sounds like he doesn't respect his car or anyone's automobile for that matter. sounds like to him it's just a peice of metal and tires.

M.D. Holloway · 11-13-2009, 08:13 PM

he needs a girlfriend with a car

Noah930 · Noah930's Garage

Granted my kids are no where near driving age, but in less than year your son has gone through 4 motors and had 3 at-fault accidents? Those are 4 more motors and 3 more at-fault accidents than I've been through in my entire life, combined. (Full disclosure in the interest of fairness: I had a car totaled underneath me last year when I got rear-ended while stopped in a line of traffic on the highway.) Perhaps these are brave words as I'm not near putting my kids behind the wheel, but if my son pulled that kind of driving ineptitude on me (and the rest of the population) when he turned 16, he for sure would have his driving privilege revoked, as socially inconvenient it may be to me.

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

Ok I am 18... had the 944 since 15...

No offense but kids like yours piss me off. I graduated with a bunch like that. Didn't take care of their crap or have any respect for mine... I have never been in a wreck and my 944 is arguably much nicer than when I got it and one of the nicest stock 944s around... My dad taught me to take care of everything... Guess I listened better than others.

Rant off....