Great sentiment... nothing make a parent happier than knowing there child will be taken care of when they are gone.

Best wishes and prayers sent out to you and your family.

Thanks for your kind words guys. There are really some great people on this board. I have been playing in OT for a couple of years now, and you are starting to feel like a part of my extended family.

Probably my dad's last xmas. He's been in pain for a number of months but they don't know what is wrong (he's 84). They wanted to do a bladder biopsy but he had a staph infection so they had to wait. Dropped from 180lbs two months ago down to 158 now. I think I know what the issue is but time will tell.

Just try to enjoy what time you have. All of us are only visiting this planet and to me the holidays are no different from the rest of the year. There is only now, so use it wisely...

You did the right thing by taking care of him in your home. I think of all my parents have done for me, turn around is fare play. I would take my parents and my wife's in my home with out a thought. Be proud you made the last part of his life happy, with family, way better than in some home.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, but you're doing the right thing. We went through the same thing a few years ago with my grandfather and even though we miss him terribly, we're glad his last days were spent with us, in our house.

I really feel for you and your family. I hope you guys can celebrate his life and see the beauty in the situation. When a loved one passes, the perspective on life really changes...

My father died of a stroke when my sons were one and three. He was my older boy's special friend, too. Anything "Papa" did was the coolest thing Alex could imagine. The stroke happened when he was visiting our house because I had been too busy to take the family down to see the parents. They were just putting their coats on to head out the door when it happened with all of us stadning around them in the living room. It was Valentine's Day.

He didn't die that night, but he underwent emergency surgery and never regained conciousness. He seemed to be making progress the next day or two but the wound bled again and they had to go in a second time to try to stop the bleeding. He died two weeks later of blood clots when it was clear there was going to be no neurological improvement.

The only advice I can give is to spend as much time and interact with him in hospice as much as possible. Read to him, hold his hand, tell him stories, anything you can think of. After being with my father, and my wife's father, and my grandmother, I am convinced that people in that situation are far more aware than they appear, and I am equally certain that they are going crazy with boredom and pain and uncertanty, and need all the companionship they can get. I think they know when they're alone and when they're not and I can nly imagine how much I would want to not be alone when I am in the same situation.

Also, make sure he has enough pain medication to be comfortable. There is no reason for him to suffer. Pain medicine was invented so we don't have to endure unnecessary pain. Don't make him hurt more than he has to.

And finally, tell him that it's ok, you'll take over and will take care of the family when he's gone. When my dad died I thought a lot about it and decided that the worst part of dying, especially young, is knowing that you aren't there to care for your family, and that if I were my dad I would have found it easier to go if I knew my loved ones were going to be taken care of.

When my wife's dad died (the in laws also lived with us) he was in ICU with an infection that we all thought he would fight off. He developed Acute Respratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS), which is almost a death sentence. He fought it off once, aspirated some liquid into his lungs, and fell back into it again. He was able to last a few more days strapped to a CPAP machine, forcing air into his lungs. The only other option was to do a ventilator, which we were told would forstall the inevitable at the cost of great suffering. He was still very much concious, so we made sure he had as much morphine as was necessary to lose the sensation of suffocating or drowning that comes with ARDS and sat vigil next to him.

He could understand us completely, but with the CPAP machine on his face he couldn't talk. We didn't tell him exaclty what had happened, which I regret to this day, but he could tell he was dying and that there wasn't anything we could do for him. This only lasted a day or two. The afternoon before the night that he died I sat next to him with the whole family there. I told him that it was OK for him t go, that I was able to take over for him and that I would take care of the family and make sure they were ok. He couldn't talk but he indicated that he understood and that he was greatful for the message.

I can't think of anything better to do for him than that. Make sure he knows you'll be there to take care of his loved ones and that they'll be OK after he's gone and have someone be with him the whole process, if possible. Good luck and Godspeed.

+ a bunch.

Do celebrate the man's life as best you can.

I have personally assured all of my people that when I go there will be much haunting if they as much as crack one tear. I want a party, dang it, so they'll all get plastered and have a good time instead of mourning me sadly. Do the same for him. He sounds like a good fellow.