Women, they're overrated - I think I prefer alcohol.

[Bill Douglas]

Women, they're overrated - I think I prefer alcohol.

At least alcohol only destroys your liver, kidney, heart, brain....

It makes some people depressed but a day or two later you're fine.

You only pay for it once, not again and again and again...

Sure I made a fool of myself but people will forget in a week or two.

I've yet to meet a really angry bottle of wine.

Unless you drink directly from the bottle, it's unlikely you will get lots of diseases.

[legion]

25 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women:

You can enjoy a beer all month long
Beer stains wash out
You don't have to wine and dine beer
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball
When your beer goes flat, you toss it out
Hangovers go away
A beer label comes off without a fight
Beer is never late
Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
Beer never gets a headache
After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents
A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer
If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head
A beer always goes down easy
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty
You can share a beer with your friends
You always know you're the first one to pop a beer
Beer is always wet
Beer doesn't demand equality
You can have a beer in public
A beer doesn't care when you come
A frigid beer is a good beer
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony

[JCF]

subscribed - and LMAO

[924slover]

alcohol is cheaper than women too

[Joeaksa]

The bottle will respect you in the morning, and not get pissed at you for not calling the next day.

[BeyGon]

I don't know this for a fact but I THINK sex with a woman is better than sex with a bottle. Just my guess.

[boba]

Originally Posted by BeyGon

I don't know this for a fact but I THINK sex with a woman is better than sex with a bottle. Just my guess.

If you were a scientist you would know, have data and charts, and one tree from Siberia.

[924slover]

Originally Posted by BeyGon

I don't know this for a fact but I THINK sex with a woman is better than sex with a bottle. Just my guess.

Obviously your not doing it right then.................................. :leave:

[masraum]

Originally Posted by BeyGon

I don't know this for a fact but I THINK sex with a woman is better than sex with a bottle. Just my guess.

A waitress that I once worked with who apparently was the daughter of a butcher and had 3 brothers told me that you take cows liver, roll it up and stuff it inside a mason jar....

Yeah, I think I'll go for the woman too.

[juanbenae]

how fuched am i? i can't live w/o either....

[Dueller]

Why Dogs Are Better Than Women

Dogs don’t cry.

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to
a quick drink.

Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are
running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are
to see you.

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other
dogs.

Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another
dog’s name.

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs understand that flatulence is funny.

Dogs love red meat.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

Dogs don’t shop.

Dogs like it when you leave a lot of things
on the floor.

A dog’s disposition stays the same all month
long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog’s parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than
asking for directions.

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than
dogs were made to be hunted.

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you
incessantly, you can shoot it.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs don’t hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the
Blowfish album.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching
adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice
to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

It’s legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Dogs don’t worry about germs.

Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog
you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as
opposed to in your wallet, desk and the
back of your sock drawer.

Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger
dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready
to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

Dogs can’t talk.

Dogs aren’t catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you

[onewhippedpuppy]

So all I need is a dog and a beer? Why don't our fathers warn us about these things?

[livi]

Being somewhat cynical, I must admit I can only think of one single thing I would rather do with a woman and I suspect women feel the same way. Everything else, IŽd rather do with a male friend.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

So all I need is a dog and a beer? Why don't our fathers warn us about these things?

Some of them do!

Still remember a card that I found in my Fathers effects after he had passed away.

Shows two old codgers on a porch in rocking chairs. One of them is saying "Harvey, believe that I finally understand women".... and the others reply is: "yep but we are too old to do anything about it!"

I just gave up on women, not worth the trouble. Thats when one came up and would not leave me alone, so guess now I am in a relationship. Who knows how long it will last but sure is fun for now.

[Laneco]

Oh goodness, where are the manly men of Pelican?

Everyone knows you need alcohol AND women - LOL!

angela

[legion]

Originally Posted by livi

Being somewhat cynical, I must admit I can only think of one single thing I would rather do with a woman and I suspect women feel the same way. Everything else, IŽd rather do with a male friend.

Shop!?

[lm6y]

Pipe down Angela. You don't count. I would almost bet that you don't like most women either. You seem like you would rather be around a bunch of straight talking guys, than around a bunch of girls who are talking behind your back when you walk off.

The S/O of 12 years left in April, the two dogs are still here, and I'm finding out that I'm much happier. With or without beer. I like it better with though.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by Laneco

Oh goodness, where are the manly men of Pelican?

Everyone knows you need alcohol AND women - LOL!

angela

Not all ladies are like you.

If they were sure we would be happier!

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by livi

Being somewhat cynical, I must admit I can only think of one single thing I would rather do with a woman and I suspect women feel the same way. Everything else, IŽd rather do with a male friend.

Fluffing?

[john70t]

My girl friend asks me which one I like better
Six pack!
I hope the answer won't upset her
Six pack!
I was born with a bottle in my mouth
Six pack!
Now I got a six so I'll never run out
Six pack!