From the legal department

[GH85Carrera]

Season's Greetings End-User License Agreement

Please find attached herewith, one (1) Seasonal Greeting relating to, and
conveying thereby, a celebration of the Winter Solstice holiday, the agreement
and all provisions hereof incorporating for the sole and exclusive benefit of
the parties hereto, and in the case of the recipient of aforementioned
Seasonal Greeting, a request, as soon as practicable following the Effective
Date, and from time to time as appropriate during the term of this Holiday
Season, to use all reasonable efforts to ensure the successful attainment of a
Happy Holiday Season.

The deliverer of the Seasons Greeting attached herewith (hereinafter referred
to as the Wisher) also wishes you a personally fulfilling recognition of the
ensuing calendar year, effective midnight GMT on 1st January 2000, for a
period of not less than 12 months, with respect to which such applicable
Holiday Wishes and Seasonal Greetings shall be effective. This Greeting
constitutes the entire agreement between parties and supersedes all prior
understandings and agreements of similar or contrary intent concerning the
Holiday Season, and shall not be modified or altered except by written
instrument duly executed by the parties. Neither party may assign this
Agreement (either voluntarily or by operation of law) without the prior
written consent of the other party to a subsidiary or affiliate without taking
reasonable steps to transfer these Seasonal Greetings Wishes to said affiliate
in an expeditious manner.

By accepting this Greeting, you, the receiver (hereinafter referred to as the
Wishee), accept and agree to abide by these terms: This greeting is freely
transferable to other Wishees provided that no alteration is made to the
original greeting. It implies no promise by the Wisher to implement part
performance regarding any of the aforementioned wishes, and it is revocable at
the sole discretion of the Wisher. The Seasons Greeting is licensed to be used
only in connection with the traditional Winter Holiday Season and celebrations
appurtenant thereto and is non-transferable to other seasonal holidays,
including (but not limited to) April Fool's Day, Halloween, or the Fourth of
July. All Return Greetings become the sole property of the Wisher unless
otherwise agreed to in writing. Failure to comply strictly with these
instructions will void this Greeting in its entirety.

IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF THIS AGREEMENT, DO NOT USE
THIS SEASONS GREETING. USING ANY PART OF THE SEASONS GREETING INDICATES THAT
YOU ACCEPT THESE TERMS. You may terminate this agreement at any time by
destroying the Seasons Greeting and documentation included therewith together
with all copies and merged portions in any form. It will also terminate
immediately if you fail to comply with any term or condition of this Greetings
Agreement. Upon such termination you agree to destroy the Seasons Greeting and
documentation, together with all copies and merged portions in any form, as
well as any spirit of Holiday Cheer as may have implicitly or explicitly
accompanied this Greeting.

You also agree that you will not export or re-export the Seasons Greeting or
accompanying Wishes of Good Tidings (or any copies thereof) or any products
utilizing said Seasons Greeting or such documentation in violation of any
applicable laws or regulations of the United States or the country in which
you obtained them. In particular, this Seasons Greeting is classified under
United States export regulations as a "munition" and may not be exported to
any country or territory known to engage in terrorist activities, including
but not limited to Iran, Libya, and North Korea.

The Wishee further agrees to indemnify, defend and hold Wisher harmless from
any and all losses, damages, costs or expenses (including, but without
limitation, attorney's fees and costs of litigation) which arise from or
relate to any claim brought by Wishee or any associate thereof or by third
party based on Wishee's celebratory, seasonal, or enjoyment activities with
respect to the aforementioned Winter Solstice Greeting.

Use, reproduction or disclosure of this Seasons Greeting is subject to
restrictions set forth in subparagraph (a) through (d) of the Commercial
Seasons Greeting Code - Restricted Rights clause at 48 C.F.R. 52.227-19 and
the limitations set forth in the corresponding Santa clause of the standard
commercial agreement for the Solstice Greetings and the Uniform Christmas Code
(UCC).

This wish is warranted to be free from defects in material and workmanship and
to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a
period of not less than one (1) year from the date of delivery, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. This
warranty does not extend to red or green colored fonts, blinking HTML tags,
and other accessories that may have been included with this Seasons Greeting.
This warranty also does not cover damage caused by improper installation,
operation or care (including, but not limited to abuse, misuse, failure to
provide reasonable and necessary maintenance, or any alterations to this
Seasons Greeting), labor charges for dismantling or reinstalling a repaired or
replaced Seasons Greeting, or replacement of batteries.

Wisher's exclusive obligation (and Wishee's only remedy) shall be at sole
discretion of the Wisher to replace or repair or refund the holiday spirit (or
a proportionate part thereof) of any defective Greeting, or parts thereof,
which are returned shipping prepaid to Wisher, under warranty subject to prior
authorization from Wisher. The foregoing shall be enforceable to the maximum
extent permitted by applicable law. Some states do not allow the exclusion or
limitation of consequential, incidental or special damages, so the above
limitation or exclusion may not apply to you. This limited warranty gives you
specific legal rights, and you may also have other rights which vary from
state to state.

Neither the Seasons Greeting conveyed herein nor any element thereof,
including without limitation, Christmas wishes, good cheer, New Years
Greetings, or other material, may be copied, repurposed, uploaded, posted,
transmitted, or redistributed, except that the Wishee may download one (1)
copy of such material to your individual computer for your personal,
non-commercial use only (which also excludes any use by governmental,
educational, charitable, or other institutional use that is not strictly a
personal use to you), and one (1) backup copy in the event that the Good Cheer
provided herewith is lost or destroyed due to circumstances beyond the
Wishee's control, such as Hardware Failure or Acts of God, provided that all
copyright and other proprietary notices appearing on such materials must be
preserved without alteration or modification.

This Seasons Greeting is provided "as is". Neither the aforementioned Wisher,
his co-workers, his associates and/or co-Wishers (if any) make any other
claims or warranties concerning this Seasons Greeting, including, but not
limited to, any implied warranties of fitness, merchantability, enjoyability
or suitability for any particular purpose, and are not responsible for any
happiness, Seasonal Merriment, enjoyment, enlightenment, or absence thereof
occurring out of or in connection with the use of this Seasons Greeting. In no
event shall the Wisher be liable for any personal injury or seasonal fiduciary
gains or losses, or any general, special, incidental, or consequential losses
arising out of the use or inability to use this Seasons Greeting, including
but not limited to any success in having a Merry Christmas and/or Happy New
Year, or any success or absence thereof in getting this Seasons Greeting to
interoperate with any other Seasons Greeting, even if any representative of
Wisher or his suppliers has been advised of the possibility of such damages.
This disclaimer of liability for damages will not be affected by any failure
of the sole and exclusive remedies hereunder. Wisher also does not warrant
that this Seasons Greeting or any Good Will derived therefrom will operate or
perform in a manner that is uninterrupted or error-free, or that the Seasonal
Holiday enjoyment so obtained will be maintained free of viruses, hangovers,
alcohol-induced stupor, or other harmful effects of excessive celebration.
Wisher makes no warranties that this Seasons Greeting is current, up-to-date,
or accurate.

In the event any provision of this Greetings Agreement is found to be invalid,
illegal, unenforceable, meaningless, or irrelevant, or to consist
predominantly or entirely of mindless gibberish, the validity, legality,
enforceability, meaningfulness, relevance, and gibberish-free nature of any of
the remaining provisions shall not in any way be affected or impaired and a
valid, legal, enforceable, meaningful, relevant, intelligent, and
gibberish-free provision of similar intent and holiday impact shall be
substituted therefor.

IN WITNESS THEREOF, the parties hereto have caused this Greeting to be
executed by their duly authorized representatives as of the latest signing
date in this agreement.

_________________

_________________, Witness

[RWebb]

funny!

I thought that just busting open the shrink wrap on the greeting meant "they got ya..."

[Buckterrier]

Was looking at older pages and saw this. I could only get through two or so paragraphs but yes WAY funny!
Care to comment Dueller????!!!!!

[McLovin]

Whoever drafted it is going to get fired for forgetting to put a jurisdiction and venue clause, and Santa is dragged into court in Hoboken, NJ.