Idiot Sightings.
 

IDIOT SIGHTING:


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter..
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Sears repair since. Happened in Ottawa .

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' Story from Collingwood , Ontario .

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Winnipeg , Manitoba .

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Toronto , Ontario .

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee in Montreal , Quebec .

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it... We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side. This was at the Ford dealership in Guelph , Ontario .

STAY ALERT ! They walk among us...

Have U listened to the people on this Board?

Are these the reasons you moved to WA? :)

Obviously there is a lot of them in Canada ;)

I have confused the hell out of the deli workers on my last three trips to Kroger here at school. The first time I had the audacity to ask for 2/3 a pound of ham. The lady looked at me like I was speaking french. She then asked if it was like 1/2. I said a little bit larger than that so she proceeded to put .27 lbs on the scale and ask me if that was enough. I told her to make it .66 and she finally understood.

On the next trip to the deli I wound up with the same nobel prize winner. I decided to make it easier and ask for 3/4 of a pound. She responded with "that's the same as three quarters, right?"

Last week I got a new deli worker. I asked for 3/4 a pound. She too needed to double check, responding with "that's .75, right?"

Simply astonishing that someone can work at the deli counter all day slicing meet based on weight and not have the basic fractions down. It is not as though I asked for 12ths or 16ths. Oh, and the first woman was at least 25-30. the woman in the last interaction was over 45.

My brother and I were at a local diner one morning. We were ordering breakfast at the counter, eggs and bacon.
The counter person asked "How do you like your eggs"? My brother answered "I don't know, I haven't tasted them yet".
I thought that was the funniest thing.

I think we would be the idiots in the story. But the above stories just reminded me of that morning.

A sign on the wall says “$5 dollar pitchers”. I asked the bartender - is a pitcher $5 or do you charge $5 for one dollar pitchers – that could be confusing. He turned and read it and said – huh?

Thanks for the laugh. :) I liked the first idiot sighting the best. I cannot believe that people don't know how to count change back these days. It peeves me that they relie on their register display and just hand you back a wad of money/change.

Overheard in the Sears tool dept:

Customer: I need a socket for a square head bolt
Clerk: Does that have four sides?

Had an intermittent mail delivery problem. Long story.

During one of my rants to the local PO Supervisor she responds, "the only way I can think of to help you is for you to bring me a piece of mail that you did not get" ????????

Yes, and everyday the 'idiots' get dumber but minimum wage and their benefits go up. I had an 'idiot' working for me and a smart employee asked how do your afford your apartment working the same amount that she works and her reply was just get pregnant and the government will take care of you. Fortunately, the smart one didn't fall for this and the 'idiot' ended up unemployed because of many violations and sending me nude pics of herself. LOL! Not worth looking at, trust me! Maybe she thought that would save her job..... NOT!

I've read your posts. Does that count?

Pretty sure it was an idiot that ordered the painted sign at a motel I saw long ago

Open 24 hrs a day / 7 days a week
Closed Sundays

How about when I tried to get my pro-rated refund back on a defective battery at Kmart. It was a 48 month battery. They clerk had a table to pro-rate 60 month batteries only. She had no idea how to calculate the refund without a table.

It took me 15 minutes to educate her how to do this. I haven't been back!

THere was another thread here with a bunch of the same sort of stuff in it. One of the stories that stands out in my mind is that someone tried to pay for something at McDonalds with a $2 bill, not only would the cashier not take the bill, but the manager didn't think it was real. I think a cop even got called down, and may not have believed the bill was real.

Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes hours of entertainment

First, a repost:
Work. No-one could access their e-mail. IT notified. Nothing heard back. Hours pass, still unable to acccess e-mail.
IT rung again.
Hostile Techie's response: "We fixed that hours ago, I e-mailed all staff how to get around it" ( I am NOT making that up)

More recently:
Walked into 7/11. Bought a newspaper ($1.00) and one chocolate. ($0.60)
"That'll be $15.10"
"I don't think so"
Points to till (firmly, fixing me with a steely gaze) "$15.10"
Discussion, brief maths lesson, epiphany, realisation that she had not "ended" previous transaction.

Most recently;
Bought $3.00 coffee. Paid $5.00 note. Received $1.10 change
(In Aust, 10 cent coins are similar in size to $1.00 coins)
Me; "This is a 10 cent coin"
She: "So??"
Me: "I think I'm meant to get $2.00 change"
She; Grabs 10 cent coin, rolls eyes, slams $1.00 coin on counter'
Me; "Thanks, and have a nice day"

zing!

:D:D:D
Frikkin' hilarious!!

The first macro virus was the "Concept" virus, around 1996. It was created to prove the point.

At the time, our antivirus software was updated weekly, automatically running a login/startup script/bat file (Windows 3.11 / Win 95). I manually updated my virus def files by going direct to the manufacturer. The script file accessed an out of date virus def file (Our IT people were all let go, and they went to contractors in 1995!). For my own machine, I disabled the script, and kept my files up to date, manually.

IT sent around an e-mail with a word document, warning of the Concept virus. The file was, of course, infected with the Concept virus. Most of GE Power Systems became infected that day...

Around the same time, there were a lot of stupid chain e-mail hoaxes. One of them is a classic, the one where people are being drugged and waking up in a bath-tub of ice and finding a kidney gone. Anyway...

One of the departments, a very high tech one mind you (Gas Turbine combustion systems, FYI), sent a paper news letter around. Yes hard copy newsletters. Imagine! They included news of all the new developments, what was going on in the lab as well as at the field test sites. I headed up warranty for our department and was head of all new instrumentation and control hardware, so I worked closely with them. (Aside, the CRAZY EYES girlfriend was a combustion engineer). Anyway...

The head of the department thought the kidney issue was so important, it was included in the hard-copy newsletter.

I called the secretary (still had a few then) and told her it was an e-mail hoax. She became quite defensive about it. She swore that this had actually happened to one of our field engineers. Her boss (the department head) had told her so...

Last time I was at Lowe's, one of the things I needed was a set of vinyl miniblinds cut to an odd size. I gave the package to the woman running the cutter and told her I needed them cut to 32 3/8" and she said, "Okay, is that an inside mount?"

I said, "Yes, that's the exact width I need them. I need to replace a set that is on that window now... if you cut this one to 32 3/8" I can slide it right into the mounts that are there.

She cut it, I thanked her, went through checkout with all my stuff, and went home.

I was getting them out of the box and decided to put a tape measure to them... a tape measure that I had in my pocket while at Lowe's.

They were exactly 32 3/4" soooooo... I'm an idiot, too... for not checking them before I left Lowe's.

I hate drive-thru windows at fast food places. I go inside and carry the items out.

Just the other night I stopped at a McD's to get some fries to go with supper.I told the young girl my order, 3 small choc. shakes, and 3 small fries.........to go.


She looked at me funny and said" that's wierd". "Which part is weird?" I asked.

"Our drive up window isn't broken, is it?"

I then briefly explained how much I do not drive-thru windows.

I needed to buy 15 feet of large gauge wire at the local autosupply store.
I asked the middle aged female clerk how to measure wire.
She proudly announced that the floor tiles were 12" squares, and then proceeded to pull the wire diagonally across the tiles. I tried, I really did try, to explain that the diagonal was more than 12". She actually said they had training in this. So as I left with my 17feet of wire I took a piece of string and showed her how the diagonal was longer. She tried it 4 or 5 times on different tiles. Never did understand. I buy wire there a lot now. (Not really, never needed ignition cable again.)
Gary

They must be programed...
 

At Home Depot, I spend 15 minutes explaining that the dimension I was giving her was exact dimension that I wanted and could not careless about their inside/outside mount explanation...

Same thing for me. No matter how many times I said "exact measurement", she continued to ask "inside or outside mount" and explain it like this --"if it's an inside ,mount we remove an additional 1/8" per side so it fits". I finally gave up, said outside mount and got my blind at the measurement I provided.

Subway purchase: $8.15. I give her a ten. Change back? $8.15.

Secretary: Sold 3'x3' piece of screening to a customer. Charged them for 3 square feet. Unable to understand the difference between 'three feet square' and 'three square feet'.

Same person: Ships two packages to a customer. Labels box #1 '1 of 2'. Labels box #2 '1 of 2'. I ask her 'shouldn't the second box be '2 of 2?'. She says 'duh, it's only one box'.

What really gets me is like above, when really stupid people think that I am stupid because they are too thick to understand. That is when you need to simply walk away.

I went to Taco Bell and the "manager" is on the phone and everyone else is standing around looking at each other. The computer was down so there was no way to take an order, prepare food or make change. The workers had taken the "initiative" to close down the drive thru so all those customers were parking their cars and walking in. I waited politely for a few minutes and then asked the "manager" if they were shut down completely. Yes the computer is down. I walked out.

"What really gets me is like above, when really stupid people think that I am stupid because they are too thick to understand. That is when you need to simply walk away"

Yes ! That really really gets to me and I let myself get sucked in too often.

Must remember that one must 'never argue with an idiot, as they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience' (is that an idiom ?)

Serenity now.

Happened to me: I don't have long distance on my home land-line phone, since I use my cell phone for out-of-state calls. But every couple of months, I'd get ATT long distance automatically added to my phone line. I'd deactivate, and it would be reactivated again. The problem was a lack of communication between ATT (long distance carrier) and Verizon (local carrier).

The last time I had to square this away was about an hour call. The tech would bounce me back and forth between various departments, since the tech could not authorize the removal of long distance as well as the refunds which were owed me.

Finally, she got approval. As she was waiting for the verification of the removal of my long distance service, she asked, (obviously from a script) "Sir, while we wait, may I ask you if you are interested in adding ATT long distance service to your land line?" I responded, "Miss, I would like for you to consider what we've been trying to accomplsih during the past 60 minutes. After contemplating our efforts here, kindly THINK about the question you just asked me, and see if you can answer it yourself." She admitted that it was a rather absurd question she asked.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Once my Credit Card was scammed, and my credit card company called me, asking if I was so-and-so, and if I could verify who I am because there was fraudulent activity on my card. I responded, "No. I cannot confirm anything with you, because you called me, and how do I know that YOU aren't trying to scam me?" (I ended up respectfully ending the call and stating that I will be calling the number on the back of my credit card statement to verify that I've been scammed.)
-----------------------------------------

-Z-man.

Just found another:

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/porsche-911-technical-forum/522774-forum-alive-if-yes-please-remove-topic-my-account.html

Do people really have the time to just mess with forums? Jeez, get a job douchenozzle!!

Ok, that thread is now invalid. What happened?:eek:

No, we're talking about idiots here not douche bags.

About 7 years ago at a fast food drive thru, I place my order and pull up to the first window and pay. I pull up to the second window to get my food. The girl I just gave my money to meets me at the second window and tries to charge me again. I tell her "I just paid you 5 seconds ago" and she denies it and starts arguing with me. Manager steps in because at this point I am livid and apologizes and I get my meal for free.
Another time, a coworker and I go out for fast food. We only get a half hour for lunch so we usually go inside to place our order because most times it is faster than the drive thru. The girl is filling our bags and my friend notices her putting a small fry in his bag. He tells her that he ordered a large fry. She turns around and grabs a large fry container and dumps the small fries into it and hands it to him. I about pissed my pants I was laughing so hard.

I ran into a number of internet threads with people stating that 2011 would be the start of the new decade, because there was no ''year zero''

I spent a little time explaining that zero fell at midnight, between Dec 31 and Jan 1, between the year 1 BCE and 1 CE. It was interesting to be told ''Well that's one perspective.'' ...

A guy sits next to me and says to the bartender, "What time is happy hour - oh, I see the sign - 2 til 10 everyday. Is that like today?"

How about retail store owner's sign on door:
"Back in 15 minutes" I didn't know what time they had left
or "Closed today and tomorrow"
the latest "will be back at the end of the week" I went there three weekend's and the sign was still there.

i work for the FAA at the control tower, not an air traffic controller, im an electronics tech. anyway, security is always a big issue and our boss is a panic manager. he came down and told us not to let anyone through the gate that he did not know. so of course someone had to ask, how do we know who you know? he did not get it and got mad when asked again, then stormed back upstairs.

You were the idiots in the story, both of you. Why is this not surprising to most of us?

we had a guy like that at work. he got mad at me one day, surprise surprise, he said, " you know what this is"? and held up both hands and gave me the double one finger salute. then said "its 8 of these. then he held up both hands with 8 fingers waving. i tried to explain that he had it backwords, but he just got madder.

it was between me and 2 other guys in the shop as to who was at the top of his kill list. paul was at the top when he said a monkey could do his job. then i think i went back the top when i told him he was too stupid to do my job but i could do his. sometimes i miss ole dave. you had to be carefull, you would get sucked into "dave's world"