Do you have an Advance Directive?

[ddbach]

Crustchief's sudden loss of his father got me thinking about this again.

Everyone regardless of age should have this talk and get it in writing, file it with your doctor and the nearest hospital.

My mom had COPD and did tell us what she did and did not want regarding medical care. Much of it wasn't written down and what was written didn't cover what happened and wasn't on file with her nearest hospital.

Mom collapsed at her apt while my sister, who knew mom's wishes, was there. She was taken to the hospital where seizures due to hypoxia were diagnosed. We didn't have her wishes regarding NO ventilator written out so when she and my sister first arrived at the hospital the ER staff sprang into action to stabilize mom without really any pause to ask my sister about ventilator support until mom was stabilized. Treatment needed for the seizures reduced her respiratory drive requiring ventilator support. They actually put her into a coma for several days to stop the seizures. She was very slow to recover from this and then it took quite a while to wean her off of ventilator support which was unltimately unsucessful. We let her go 11 years ago next Sunday after 7 weeks of "toture". I felt we were toturing her with the vent but couldn't get family consensus to remove vent support.

We finally got Dad to do this 18 mo ago (way late) by doing it as a group. Copies are on file at the VA where he usually goes as well as the hospital nearest his home. I want to hang a copy on the inside of his front door but he won't let me.
I'm thinking of getting a tattoo when I reach an age or health status where I don't want extensive measures taken - DNR - right over my heart so it can't be missed. (DNR = do not resusitate)

Do it for your family. Please

[Tobra]

I was thinking about the "place no electrodes"tat anterior and lateral, where you put the paddles.

Advanced directive and will, need both those

[Noah930]

It's hard to get people to actually put their wishes down in writing, and there are some practical limitations to it, as well. I think it's more important to make your wishes known to those around you. You'd be surprised how many families have given little, if any, thought to what their moms and dads and grandparents would want in these types of situations. IMO any person over the age of about 40 or 50 should make known to their loved ones and physician how much intervention they want if they can't communicate those instructions in a time of medical distress. Obviously it's a bit more difficult if you have no close friends or family, of if you've alienated everyone in your social and familial circles. No plan is foolproof. But the more people know your wishes, the more likely they'll be honored if you can't make them known, yourself.

[stomachmonkey]

Fathers lateral aortic aneurism started leaking which at his age and condition was only going to end up one way

He had a dnr but we did not know about it so they tried for far longer than needed and we almost ended
up with him brain dead on a vent

so yes get it done and passit around

[widgeon13]

I'm not a lawyer or doctor but know this is a very complex issue involved with medical ethics, legal obligations and law as well as personal issues. State laws vary as well and there are different documents that have different purposes. Health care proxy, living will, DNR are all advance directives but have different purposes.

My mother (age 97) and in a nursing home w/ Alzheimer's, has a heath care proxy document and it is directed that I execute her wishes at the appropriate time for all care since she is no longer capable of making those decisions. It is a huge personal responsibility and while I freely make decisions on whether she should have flu shots or pneumonia vaccinations, I have not been in a position to go beyond that.

Having said that, I think some directive is very worthwhile for all who wish to sign one. Investigate it and do what you believe is appropriate.

[Laneco]

My father is now living at our house - straight from the hospital to here. 15 days in the hospital, 12 in ICU, 9 of that on a ventilator. No advance directive. He begged for a DNR if removing the ventilator tube failed (meaning that he failed to regain breathing on his own). With a tube in his throat he wrote me notes and begged the family members to understand his wishes. It was fortunate that he was conscious and able to make this decision. Even more fortunate that the removal was successful.

While we were in the hospital we met an elderly gentleman. I think his name was Bob. Bob had the worst day in the history of the known universe. His wife of 55 years is also a COPD patient and in the end stages of her disease. She died early in the morning. Bob called non-emergency (as required when someone dies at home) but her DNR could not be located. Ambulance arrived, lights and sires. Bob begged them to NOT revive her, but legally they must try as the DNR could not be located. They got to to the hospital and unfortunately, did revive her. No higher brain function, but she was "alive" on the ventilator. The DNR was located later that day. Her tube got pulled and Bob watched his wife die for the second time a few hours later.

If you ever think you've had a bad day, please think about his day... Advance directives are for everyone and (as stated above) a DNR needs to be damn near tatooed to your chest.

angela

[Oh Haha]

My dad did not want to "live" on a ventilator if it came to that. In the end, he passed peacefully with us at his side.(Actually, we went out of his room to talk for a few moments and he went, the sly dog.)

We have discussed the issue with my mom now and have the paperwork handy if needed.

When it's her time, she wants to be with my dad ASAP. "Don't make me wait", she said.

[NutmegCarrera]

We had wills as well as durable power of attorney and advanced directives put together BY AN ATTORNEY prior to our first child's birth.
First - it would suck wind to have our wishes not known in event of a tragedy, but almost more importantly, having these things in order will reduce the risk of probate related issues. We do not want multi-year court battles prior to our kids from receiving the funds that belong to them.
We're not rich, but rather want our intentions known and for the process to go expeditiously.

The durable power of attorney is helpful for assigning your wishes (no code or otherwise).

Very good idea for a thread, and please take this subject seriously.

While we're at it - please get "donor" stickers for your drivers licenses. Can't hurt you anymore, and think of the positive impact you can have if somebody has a negative impact on you.

Finally - putting the "ICE" info somewhere easy to find in your car and on your person is also a good idea. This stands for "In case of emergency", and should be accompanied by your loved one's contact info.

Wifey is a nurse, and also very organized. She makes sure we're on top of this sort of thing.
I do manage to dress myself in the morning, though.