Why men should know how to cook. An epiphany about the REAL reason...
 

On our road trip to acquire the mystery M3 poser parts car yesterday, my buddy BT and I were discussing men and cooking. Now you need to understand a little about BT. He's 40 y.o., hugely successful in business--a business he started from scratch after a mediocre college career, and can afford to do pretty much whatever he wants. He's never married but I'd dare say he cuts a remarkable wide swath of some of the finest trim on atleast 4 continents. He's pretty damn happy with his life but one of the most self effacing and down to earth guys I know. And he has taught himself to be a pretty accomplished chef.

BT has shared many recipes, most quite easy, but comparable to dishes in some of the finest restaurants around. Many he has learned from dining in upscale restaurants, experiencing a truly stellar dish and asking to speak to the chef for his recipe/technique. On a number of occasions his entusiasm has found him invited to the kitchens of some fairly well know chefs for a personal demonstration.

In the course of our road trip conversations, I commented on how I found one of the dishes he shared with me some years ago (Lamb chops/rack of lamb with Kahlua/creole mustard/wine sauce) to be my go to dish for seducing women. In fact, I commented that I have a 100% success rate with this dish with a variety of women. It satisfies the barbarian male's need for medium rare red meat yet it is exotic and dainty enough for women to feel you went to more trouble than it actually entails. Our consensus was that men cooking for women, to some degree, is all about the pussy.

Of course, we discussed how we feel a sense of self sufficiency that we don't need women to cook for us. This often leads a woman to strive to find other of the male's more prurient needs they can satisfy. And the economics of fine dining at home came to light...we agreed that the upscale dinner and wine out costing upwards of $200 for a date will easily fund several at home dinners that will likely be better than any thing in a posh restaurant. Entertaining a woman in your home is vastly more intimate than the distraction and interruptions of waiters and busboys and other patrons. And you know a woman has more opportunity to check out your ass/package while she's enjoying a cocktail or wine and watching you work that filet or fish. In short its an aphrodesiac for women.

You have the added benefit that you cooking can be a rational for the woman to transport herself to your house rather than relying on you. Then you're both free to imbide without the concern of getting her or yourself back home risking a DUI stop.

But a major reason is that you have the woman where you want them...in your house...on your turf. No awkward efforts to get her to go back to your place. It was best summed up by BT: "Fed, in bed and bred by 10 p.m."

Let it be a lesson to you younger guys. Learn to cook.;)

This still works when you get married.

I'm not a chef but I like cooking and my wife can be very appreciative;) when I make something special for her.

I like cooking, I've just never had to do it for the past 30 years ;)
Other than the odd BBQ supervision role, I'm with your bud BT :)

Or at least clean up the kitchen.

MANRULE NO. 1: Thou shalt not touch another man's grill while he is cooking lest he strike down upon you with great vengeance for He is the Lord of his BBQ.

You prolly seen this b4, but appropriate for this thread; cheers!

Man Grill:

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Oh and of course, the MAN always makes the sammy's....

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I was at a very wealthy Japanese friend's house for a bbq one night and he had some other Japanese friends over. One was a huge celebrity newscaster in Japan, who will remain nameless, as he's somewhat known here too. Anyway, when the first steak came of the grill, he grabbed it, sat right down and started chomping away while the rest of us politely waited for the rest of the meal to be put on the table, refilled wine, etc. This guy's Japanese wife couldn't help but notice the shock on my face at his rudeness. She said, "Richard, that's a typical Japanese male. Don't be offended by it." I think it's their version of what Rob just posted.

This was a lesson my dear departed father taught me when I was still a teenager.

Cooking is one of the essential life-skills in my view.

Along with dancing well, being well-spoken and knowing how to make love to a woman properly.

Spread. The last part is "spread"

Dueller, how about sharing the lamb recipe???

Sure. Very simple. Grill lamb chops on grill or in broiler to rare-medium rare. Or if you're doing a rack of lamb, brown all sides in an oven safe skillet then into oven at 450 degrees for about 10-15 minutes turning once. Season only with sea/kosher salt and ground peper before cooking.

Secret's in the sauce. 1 cup demiglace (can use beef boullion in a pinch) + 1 cup dry white wine in sauce pan. reduce by 1/2 on cook top. Add 1 cup Kahlua and reduce by half. Shortly before reduction completed add two large table spoons of Zattarain's creole mustard and stir to blend. Reduce heat to simmer until you serve.de

Place 2-3 chops or slice rack and serve 2-3 bone in slices on plate. Pour sauce over lamb just before serving.

This sauce absolutely takes lamb into a new category for me. Even people who don't care for lamb love it. Can be used on grilled pork as well.

Usually serve with grilled/steamed asparagus and rosemary oven roasted new potatos. Grilled eggplant/tomato halves or polenta is also good as are garlic mashed potatos, etc.

Sounds really good. I'll try soon.

Thanks!

I have always regretted that I have never been able to dance well.

Best,
Tom

I'm going to have to give it a try; it sounds great. I'm not a big fan of lamb, but done right I can enjoy it in moderation.

As for the eggplant; my wife found that it must be sliced and salted for 10 minutes to draw out the bitterness, then rinsed and seasoned. Throw it on the grill and enjoy. I've been doing that with eggplant since.

I'm looking forward to trying lamb again.

Howz the sauce on other meats?

Lamb and I have an unpleasant history. I think I dated it in another life and it got back at me...

I have a special sauce for Swordfish or Thresher.....

1/2 and half mayo and spicey mustard, garlic, soy sauce, cinnamon, lemon juice....reduce on grill in a foil bowl. When you get brown crunchies it's ready....use as a dip or ladle on to the browned fish.

I made cioppino for my s/o this afternoon.... with striped bass, scallop, mussels, and lobster..

The clothes were coming off before we finished eating :cool:

Mike...works on pork. Doesn't work with beef/chicken.

Tim...ciopinno. That's a fish based stew with tomatos, garlic, celery, etc? Been meaning to try something like that. Care to share recipe/suggestions?

Gotta run...cooking for the missus as I speak:) Filets with bernaisse and lump crabmeat (I'm a ribeye man...gotta have the marbling. Explains why I'm doing the sauce as I find filets almost too dry).

Bon apetit:D

Make sure you have a little fresh tarragon in the Bearnaise sauce, include some asparagus with the crab, and you have a filet, Oscar style. Way, way tasty.

Of course, I like it even better with a ribeye...

JR

Basically yes... its one of those recipes that allows a lot of leeway

Its quite simple..

3 shallot
6 garlic cloves

saute in olive oil.. deglaze with dry white wine..( two cup total)

add bay leaf and thyme.. salt pepper, two cup tomato (I use the Parmalot box), seafood stock if you have it... or bottled clam juice, or veggie stock, chicken stock last resort..

Reduce by half..

add the seafood... last time I made it I used bay scallops, mussels, a nice filet of cow bass, and maine lobster..

When the mussels open it usually done.. the bay scallops cook real quick, the bass a bit longer..

enjoy with a nice hunk of rustic semolina bread...

btw way you could use any seafood that is local and fresh.. I'm lucky that I live four miles from the ocean, a hundred feet from a canal, quarter mile from a lake.... so I can get uber fresh seafood year round.

Also you can chop up some fennel and saute with the shallot and garlic... add a bit of saffron....

etc.

i love cooking! it actually was the hook that scored me my wife.

i cant remember the exact meal that i cooked.

Guess I need to get a little more gor-met..... I can grill a mean hamburger or steak... thats about it....

Well, you're on your way, Sid. It can be quite simple to make a dish more "gourmet"....learn to make a few different omlettes with what you have in the fridge. Learn to panee fish (Tilapia can be bought cheap in individually frozen packets at Walmart in Okieland...thaws instantly....lightly dusrt with flour and sear in butter 2-3 minutes per side. Make a Menuierre sauce by using browned butter, splash of worchestershire sauce, juice of a lemon and perhaps some dried parsley. Pour it over cooked filet and garnish with a thin slice of lemon. Instead of potatos, for a side dish, make a small batch of of grits, add some minced garlic, pepper, salt and some gratted sharp cheddar cheese...stir. Voila!!! You're a goumet cook. You've made Tilapia Menuirre with Garlic/cheddar Polenta. (Sounds a lot sexier than Fried Fish with grits:D)

Learn a basic cream sauce that can be supplemented with additional ingedients to serve over fish or steak. Basic cream sauce: Melt half stick of butter...brown chopped green onions and fresh, sliced mushrooms..a little salt/white pepper. Add small amount of flour to thicken up. Then add some cream and stire to keep from burning. Reduce heat. (keep a small carton in fridge for your coffee). There ya go...a tasty creme sauce. Fancy it up by adding crabmeat or chopped cooked shrimp to serve over a steak or grilled or paneed fish filets. Be creative.

Or pan sear some thin sliced chicken breast in olive oil seasoned with pepper, salt, a little garic powder. Serve cream sauce over a bed of angel hair pasta, Top with the grilled chicken slices. Maybe some grated parmessian cheese. A few flakes of dried parsley to "purdy" it up. Slice of garlic bread. Simple Chicken Angel. At a cost of what? $3 per serving? Better than dropping $25 at Applebee's...and probably better tasting. And remember...you got her at your place already;)

You can make the sauce a little thinner with extra cream/half anf half/milk, add a can of smoked oysters and simmer and you have an oyster bisque. Or substitute some cooked shrimp for the oysters and toss in one of those spreadable brie cheese packets: Shrimp and Brie Bisque. Vary the ingredients to make your own creations. Doesn't really take a whole lot of expensive ingredients...keep salt, black pepper, white pepper, dried parsley, oregano, basil, rosemary, garlic powder as dried spices and some minced garlic in the fridge and you'd be amazed at how many "gourmet dishes you can come up with. 5 or 10 Knorr packages of bernaisse/hollandaise/peppercorn sauces and you can be viewed as a master...especially when you make her eggs benedict the morning after...at a cost of about $2 a serving versus taking her out for a $30 brunch.:D

Remember...cooking is an art. Be creative.

Baking, on the other hand is a science.;)

This is an important and widely-known strategy. It works better than any other. Cook for her while she sips wine. Works every time.

X2
this works so well, that if a woman comes over to eat, and gets to watch you move in the kitchen. plan ahead. clean your room, bathroom, and (very important)..clean sheets, make the bed. put that string of old tube socks you use to dry your hands on into a drawer, and break out that "just for emergencies" pack of hermetically sealed bag of matching towels up on the towel rack. (you do have the single man action pack ready right? towels, high thread count sheets, live plant...).

This is known as "Giving good bed." Usually results in getting good head.:eek::D

I'll have to try some of that if I ever get the time Jim...

All good tips but there's an inherent danger having the woman in your place. What if you want her TO LEAVE afterwards? She's dug in for the night.

IMHO, only do this if you want a relationship with her. Not the casual date.

Btw, food can reduce the chances of sex. They can get full, gassy, sleepy and not feel sexy. Boom, it's over.

I know the opposite happens and I've done it but when it backfires, be ready.

TIME? Sid, Sid, Sid....:rolleyes:

Let's look at it scientifically:

Option A: Take her out. Drive to pick her up: 10 mins. Drive to Applebee's: 10 min. (It is a small town, eh?) Wait for a table? 5 mins. Wait on Waiter/look over menu: 10 mins. Order, wait for food to arrive: 15 mins. Send food back because they messed up the order: 12 minutes. Eat: 15 mins. Wait on check: 5 mins. Wait on your change/CC to come back: 8 mins. Drive around while you're trying to figure out what to do/how to get her back to your crib: 30 mins. Settle on taking her somewhere else, go there and spend more $$$: 90 minutes. Try to get her back to your crib: 30 mins. Give up and take her home: 15 mins. Drive home alone: 10 mins. TOTAL ELAPSED TIME: 4 hours 25 minutes. COST {On even a cheap college date}: $53.27 + $9.00 worth of gasoline burned. RESULT: Looks like its you and me again tonite, Rosie.

Option B: Get her to come to your place for dinner. Great her at door with glass of wine, or in your case a diet Coke;): 3 mins. Chit chat before you start cooking: 17 minutes. Panee Tilapia/ make menuirre sauce, start grits (Instant grits), toss bread in oven: 14 minutes. Plate food and serve: 2 mins. Eat and bask in your accomplishments: 15 minutes. Clear table: 1 min. Show her your etchings: 4 mins. TOTAL ELAPSED TIME: O hours 52 Minutes. COST: $13.87. RESULT: You spend the next morning helping her try to find her panties only to discover they're on the ceiling fan.

:D

my personal mentality for cooking is use the rainbow heh. works for soups, stews and stirfries!

use something red, something yellow, something green, something white.

my fav red things:
peppers
tomatoes
radishes
curries

my fav yellow things:
potatoes
peppers
mushrooms
squash
onions
corn

fav green things:
bok choy
sugar snap peas
string beans
napa cabbage
cucumbers

pick something from column A, B, and C , add a meat, and it's pretty much guaranteed to be mmm mmm good heh

Why , did she puke on them? :D


J/K!!!! I couldnt resist!!!

Guess I should have stated that differently... I mean if I find the time to date... But there is a new girl on the horizon.... I'm trying to find the time to take her out...

And as far as going to applebees (chilis, outback, etc... you get the drift).... Well thats out since the nearest one is an hour away even with me driving the 944 at 90+....

Jim I did a trial run on the fish. I think I overdid the lemon but the rest was good. Just need to find a girl to cook for now...

Good for you, Sid...how'd it turn out? Fish taste good? Have you ever tried to cook fish like this before? Tell us about it...I'm impressed you even gave it a shot.

On your way, stud-boy;)

I believe the proper quote is, "Great vengeance and furious anger."

It was my first time cooking fish not in foil on the grill.


It was good. Like I said it was just a little too much lemon but otherwise fine. I'll work on my presentation next time.

make for her a decadent dessert that won't harm her dainty tainty.

thinly sliced sweet red pears, red delicious aples gently sauteed in butter until they're lightly caramrlized. sprinkle a graham cracker crust with cinnamon,sugar llightly and nutmeg, place the fruit in the crust, drizzle a dark honey lightly over the top, cover loosely with foil, bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

serve a glass of fume blanc and have some very light whipping cream nearby,

dip a fork into cream, feed her some of the fruit, you drink the wine and kiss her softly.

call me later

Somehow I think all of that stuff will harm her dainty tainty...

' bigger the cushion the better the pushin':D