RIP Common Sense

[Porsche-O-Phile]

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

[dd74]

Common Sense. Never heard of him.

[Leland Pate]

I don't need common sense! I have the GOVERNMENT!

[dentist90]

Common Sense....unfortunately less common than one would have hoped.

But with his loss we get some interesting stories to share, like the super fat chick who got to take the poor old ladies' parking spot closer to the entrance of her condo... and the condo comittee had to pay her fat ass thousands of dollars for hurting her feelings! Good times ahead! :sigh:

[Dottore]

My recent favourite:

In California obese people qualify for "handicapped" permits.

So they can park in the handicapped spots.

And not have to walk quite as far.

[Racerbvd]

Originally Posted by Dottore

My recent favourite:

In California obese people qualify for "handicapped" permits.

So they can park in the handicapped spots.

And not have to walk quite as far.

Like it would hurt for them to walk their fat asses off!!!

[BeyGon]

Originally Posted by Dottore

My recent favourite:

In California obese people qualify for "handicapped" permits.

So they can park in the handicapped spots.

And not have to walk quite as far.

Very few people in control and none of the Democrats in California have an idea what common sense means.
50 million to save the Marsh Mouse in Oakland?
Smog laws?

[m21sniper]

Common sense isn't.

[Geronimo '74]

Originally Posted by Dottore

My recent favourite:

In California obese people qualify for "handicapped" permits.

So they can park in the handicapped spots.

And not have to walk quite as far.

Originally Posted by Racerbvd

Like it would hurt for them to walk their fat asses off!!!

"Yes sir, the VOP (very obese person) parking is on the other side of town."
"No sir, there is no shuttle bus."
"Walk, sir, how else...?"

[oldE]

This editorial was first published in 1998 by Lori Borgman

The Death of Common Sense

"This piece was first published March 15, 1998 in the Indianapolis Star. It has since been published in newspapers and magazines around the world and is a favorite of radio talk show hosts."

Still true, though.

Les

[cashflyer]