Loved ones grave sites visiting

[peppy]

How often do you visit loved ones' graves?

Does anyone run interference say a few days ahead of a known visit by others to tidy up the site?

[Noah930]

Wouldn't it depend upon distance? I visit one set of grandparents maybe once a year. Because they're buried in NorCal and I live in SoCal. My other grandparents are buried in the same city in which I live, so I'll go once a month. No extra tidying up in anticipation of others' visits. Just do it when I get there, if necessary.

[vash]

i need to get to visit my dad. been too long.

[peppy]

Yes Noah930 distance would be a factor.

Say you pass within a few minutes on a regular basis.

[Tishabet]

I almost never visit graves.... my loved one is not there, only their husk. I believe in an afterlife, but I don't think my loved one is more "connected" to me at their grave site.

[Geronimo '74]

I rarely vist graves of loved ones.
Every once in a long while, I feel the need, and then I do.
Not often.

[mthomas58]

Originally Posted by Tishabet

I almost never visit graves.... my loved one is not there, only their husk. I believe in an afterlife, but I don't think my loved one is more "connected" to me at their grave site.

I was attracted to this post because I lost my father on Thursday and the funeral is tomorrow. This reminded me of one of the poems we read at the funeral home while planning the service:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet white doves in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there,I did not die.

[Geronimo '74]

Originally Posted by mthomas58

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet white doves in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there,I did not die.

beautiful poem!

[Rot 911]

As much as I loved my dad, I have never been to his grave site. He lives on in the memories I have of him.

[Targa Me]

My Dad died in 2006 and I visit his grave once in a while; for me, visiting shows some sort of respect although I keep him in my heart always. It's funny... the first year after his passing I visited several times a year and as the years go by, my visits are less and less.
Here's a toast to our loved ones who've gone but are not forgotten.

[esample]

Originally Posted by mthomas58

I was attracted to this post because I lost my father on Thursday and the funeral is tomorrow.

Mark

My condolences and sincere best wishes.

-e.

[peppy]

Okay does it bother anyone when they go and the grass has grown over the grave marker and there is dirt in the engraving?

[Racerbvd]

I try and visit my buddy Floyd once a year, he is in Andersonville,GA, a few hours from me. I also try & stop by my Grandmother & Great Aunt's graves a few times a year and unfortunately I'll be at the cemetary on Wed to bury my Uncle

[mthomas58]

Originally Posted by esample

Mark

My condolences and sincere best wishes.

-e.

Thanks -e.

This is what we selected for dad's funeral. It seemed to suit him. Not really looking forward to tomorrow. It was Alzheimers and we all take comfort that he is now at peace.

I'd like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an after glow
of smiles when life is done.
I'd like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun
of happy memories
that I leave when life is done

[peppy]

Sorry to hear Mark. Best wishes to your family.

[Tishabet]

Originally Posted by mthomas58

I was attracted to this post because I lost my father on Thursday and the funeral is tomorrow. This reminded me of one of the poems we read at the funeral home while planning the service:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet white doves in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there,I did not die.

My condolences on your loss, Mark.

[Lothar]

My parents wanted to be buried in PA. I live in NC. I had to arrange everything for my Mom's grave, since my Dad was not able to. That was in 2007. Dad passed last year. I had the marker revised to add his passing date. I have relatives in PA that seem to expect me to visit anytime I am in the area.

I personally don't want to take up real estate. I also don't believe that one sits in the ground for all eternity. So, I have a problem with the idea that visiting a grave site is necessary. I have 40-some years of memories of my parents. I really don't want to add standing in a cemetery to all the positive memories of them. I think of them often and I don;t find any more of a connection to them when I am at their grave site than I do thinking of them while I mow my lawn.

MThomas58, I am very sorry for your loss. I don't think that people really understand that loss, until they have experienced it. So, we have something in common. Stay strong, my friend.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by Rot 911

As much as I loved my dad, I have never been to his grave site. He lives on in the memories I have of him.

Much the same feeling here.

My Father's grave is 2000 miles away and Mom was cremated so neither of them are close in that manner.

Have been to his grave once and thats prolly enough. He knows where I am and hope that both are watching over me.