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-   -   The Bacon Tree... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/553386-bacon-tree.html)

Rusty Heap 07-15-2010 11:02 AM

The Bacon Tree...
 
:D:D:D


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell ? 'Ees bacon......I theenk."

"Si, Luis, 'eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.....

"Pepe, Pepe, we 'ees saved, 'ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe 'ees a meerage ? We 'ees in the desert don' forget....."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...'ees no meerage, 'ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath........

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, 'ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what 'ees it ?

"Pepe.. 'ees not a bacon tree, 'ees.....


'Ees .....


'Ees..........


'Ees...............



'Ees a ham bush....."



I AM SO SORRY.... I know there's something wrong with me for sending you this, I just couldnt help it!

The little voices made me do it......yeah, that was it, the little voices - BUT I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you (I know you did)

:D:D:D

imcarthur 07-15-2010 11:30 AM

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/clap.gif http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/clap.gif http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/clap.gif http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/clap.gif http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/clap.gif http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/clap.gif

Ian

Z-man 07-15-2010 12:30 PM

I've banned people for less than that.....

-Z

crustychief 07-15-2010 12:38 PM

sweet!

Laneco 07-15-2010 12:39 PM

Oh two thumbs way up from our 14 year old son!

Hambush - bwahahaaaa!!!

angela

James Brown 07-15-2010 12:54 PM

priceless

Zeke 07-15-2010 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinP73 (Post 5456238)
Thats racist.

With or without green sauce?

Jeff Higgins 07-15-2010 01:13 PM

Dave, Dave, Dave... I'm telling Barb.

s_morrison57 07-15-2010 01:22 PM

I liked it

on2wheels52 07-15-2010 02:33 PM

I would have laughed at it 40 years ago, just as funny today.
Jim

onewhippedpuppy 07-15-2010 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinP73 (Post 5456238)
Thats racist.

And funny.

Rusty Heap 07-16-2010 06:07 AM

Thanks Kevin for blue pissing on a good and funny but innocent thread with your not funny joke.


Must be something in the California air.

scottmandue 07-16-2010 07:12 AM

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1279293116.jpg

mattdavis11 07-16-2010 05:53 PM

Did you check a box or write in your race on the census questionnaire? If so, you're a racist. I didn't declare, they can guess.

The joke was funny, I'll have to share it with my amigo.

924slover 07-16-2010 06:00 PM

I opened this thread thinking it was about my family tree.....Iwas wrong .....good joke although a bit corny

DrBarrett356 07-17-2010 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rusty Heap (Post 5457258)
Thanks Kevin for blue pissing on a good and funny but innocent thread with your not funny joke.


Must be something in the California air.


Let's see, you have two "Mexicans" ( I guess they're not actually people to you) lost in the dessert while trying to find a better life for themselves, on the verge of death from starvation. They wander into a trap baited with food. Both are in the grasp of death "when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock." A wet sock? Really? This mans life has no more value than a wet sock? And why the machine gun? Sounds like a bit of over kill to me.
All this so Luis can deliver "with his dying breath" the punch line that you think is soooooo funny? "'Ees a hambush...."
Oh yes your joke is so funny.
Must be something in the Washington water!:rolleyes:

mattdavis11 07-17-2010 12:38 PM

Lighten up, Francis.

GH85Carrera 07-17-2010 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrBarrett356 (Post 5459078)
Let's see, you have two "Mexicans" ( I guess they're not actually people to you) lost in the dessert while trying to find a better life for themselves, on the verge of death from starvation. They wander into a trap baited with food. Both are in the grasp of death "when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock." A wet sock? Really? This mans life has no more value than a wet sock? And why the machine gun? Sounds like a bit of over kill to me.
All this so Luis can deliver "with his dying breath" the punch line that you think is soooooo funny? "'Ees a hambush...."
Oh yes your joke is so funny.
Must be something in the Washington water!:rolleyes:

It was a JOKE.

It was just a way to deliver a punch line. It is not based on reality, it was a JOKE. Kinda funny but not a knee slapper.

Any funny joke to one group will be offensive to someone. Absolutely positively nothing is sacred and beyond making a joke about it. Cancer, death, obesity, stupidity, prostitution, murder, pornography, and pain are not funny on their own, but there are some funny jokes about every possible subject on the planet.

DrBarrett356 07-17-2010 02:53 PM

So I guess what your saying is whether or not you find a joke funny depends on which side of your neck you have your swastika tattoo.

Zeke 07-17-2010 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrBarrett356 (Post 5459389)
So I guess what your saying is whether or not you find a joke funny depends on which side of your neck you have your swastika tattoo.

Now to PARF. I can't say that I don't like what the good Dr. is saying, but it is not a discussion of a bad joke any longer.

Mods, take this to PARF where the real name calling is permitted.

Reported.


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