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Christien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hamilton, Ont.
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Bumpers

The thread about parking got me thinking about an incident the other day. I was backing the 911 out of the garage, and my parents' Trailblazer was in the driveway, in a place where we never leave another vehicle. (they sometimes leave a car here when they fly and we drive them to the airport) I knew it was there, but wasn't watching for it as I started to back out, due to force of habit - I ease the car out of the garage because there's a big bump, then turn around and look for the other car in the driveway. Well, The rear quarter of the 911 made a very slight contact with the front right bumper of the trailblazer. Not enough for me to feel the impact at all - I turned my head around and holy ***** the car's right there! Slam on the brakes, put it in 1st and move ahead a bit before setting the parking brake.

So I get out to look to see if there's any damage. The rubber trim on the 911 had been pushed back about 2 inches, and came off the metal rim piece that holds it on. It buckled and looped out a bit. 30 seconds of pushing and sliding and it was as good as new - absolutely no way to tell anything had happened. Now the trailblazer, on the other hand, had a 6" x 1/2 " scuff on the bumper. I took the buffer and some compound to it and that reduced it to about 4" x 1/4", and it's much less apparent, but it's still there. I showed it to my business partner who spent years in automotive paint, he said to get it back to normal it'd have to be sanded and painted, $4-600.

So the score is 1972 Porsche: 1, 2008 Chevy Trailblazer: 0.

It got me thinking, what's the point of a bumper, if you can't bump anything? Not that that's what we should be aiming for, but isn't that the point of a bumper? So if you bump something, no damage is done? With pretty much any modern car, there's nothing except a big plastic piece, which cracks or scrapes under the slightest impact, and costs a fortune to fix. You would think, with so many more cars (and bad drivers) on the road, that these kinds of things happen more frequently now than they did in the 70s.

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Old 08-12-2010, 06:12 PM
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Porsches are badasses, LOL
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Old 08-12-2010, 06:32 PM
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I got off the new car merry go round years ago...
Your latest incident reminded me why I chose to do this.

My 78 911 still has the original US spec bumper extensions on the rear bumper.
Some people have commented that they're big and ugly but I actually prefer these to the smaller Euro spec ones.
It's more an aesthetic thing. IMO they go well with the impact bumper design and look of the car.

I have considered removing them to add lightness but the thought of being rear
ended by some fool in a Korean made piece of crap with plastic bumpers keeps them in place.

(Edit: No offense intended to our Korean friends)

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Last edited by sc_rufctr; 08-12-2010 at 07:08 PM..
Old 08-12-2010, 07:01 PM
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My daily driver is a 1986 El Camino. It has some big STEEL bumpers. Several years ago on an icy day some dummy in a Honda was going too fast for conditions. I was at a stop light waiting for it to change and the Honda smacked me in the rear. The Honda was folded up and the radiator was spewing, it was un-drivable. It knocked the ice off of my bumper. There are a few tiny scratches in the surface of the chrome that I notice when I am washing it but no other damage. That is what a bumper should do.
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Old 08-13-2010, 06:06 AM
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This is exactly why I would not produce copies of my fiberglass bumpers.


And then my wife got rear ended. So far, the results of settlement have not been good. Stock bumpers going back on.
Old 08-13-2010, 07:41 AM
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A scuffy Ford had parked me in one day so I rev'ed up the SC and pushed it back a meter so I could get out. I got out to check the SC was OK and found the SC was fine but the big rubber bumper had smashed up the Ford's fibreglass front bumper something fantastic.
Old 08-13-2010, 01:34 PM
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I did something similar years ago when my wife had a friend spend the night. When I left in the morning to go to work, I saw her car behind ours (and another 30' of driveway she could have pulled up in ). Anyway, I get in my truck, back up as usual and hit her car in the rear bumper. No damage to my truck, but $1500 to her POS Honda, Toyota, or what ever it was. It's amazing I saw it, but went into auto pilot when I got and started to back up, just like every other day.
Old 08-13-2010, 02:06 PM
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I want a set of front and rear bumpers made out of trailer hitches, because they are the absolute worst thing you can run into. Just give me five or six hitch receivers across the front and rear of the car so I can plug in various size hitches and attachments. Then the next person to "park by feel" will get their POS Kia farked up like they truly deserve! They would be pretty handy too for bike racks and BBQs and trailers.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:19 PM
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They are the worst thing you can run into. Ask me and my shin bone how I know.
Old 08-13-2010, 04:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gtc View Post
I want a set of front and rear bumpers made out of trailer hitches, because they are the absolute worst thing you can run into. Just give me five or six hitch receivers across the front and rear of the car so I can plug in various size hitches and attachments. Then the next person to "park by feel" will get their POS Kia farked up like they truly deserve! They would be pretty handy too for bike racks and BBQs and trailers.
Post of the year!
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:03 PM
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When I was a kid, we were heading West on Fair Oaks Blvd, near the curve by the Governor's Mansion that no governors ever lived in. We were in a '72 Caddy Fleetwood, I was in the back seat, with my head between the parents in front. For no apparent reason, Dad starts pulling over so I ask why, as we were on the way to pick up my new bicycle. A Honda, mid-70's, had smacked into us between the R front tire and the door. There was a tiny dent, and some yellow paint on us, the Honda looked like it fell off a cliff. I was stunned.

Dad, "That is why my family rides in a big, heavy car."

Physics, there is no escaping it.
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gtc View Post
I want a set of front and rear bumpers made out of trailer hitches, because they are the absolute worst thing you can run into. Just give me five or six hitch receivers across the front and rear of the car so I can plug in various size hitches and attachments. Then the next person to "park by feel" will get their POS Kia farked up like they truly deserve! They would be pretty handy too for bike racks and BBQs and trailers.
There's a good reason I leave my draw bar in the receiver year round...

Only thing is, they don't hold up well when you're rear ended by an undocumented Mexican in a Trailblazer driving without a DL, texting at 40 MPH.
Hit me at a dead stop, snapped the hitch. Still have it as a paperweight.
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:58 PM
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Todays bumpers are designed pretty much what they are suppose to do. Having a mix of old and new cars and a wife and teen drivers, you appreciated the modern design if done right. Most modern bumpers will withstand a 5-10 mph bump with next to no damage. Sure you may have some paint scratches, but not much else. I know if I did the same with my 911, the aluminum bumper would be bent, the bumper shocks replaced at a minimum. Add the possible rear reflector, tail light, rear hood and things add up fast.
Old 08-14-2010, 05:27 AM
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I've had a few things hit some of my bumpers

Back in the late '80s I was at the local cruise night at Angelos in Santa Ana.
I was in my '66 GT390 Fairlane. It started to drizzle so everyone was splitting.

I've made it just accross a intersection in traffic jam conditions when I hear a flatt four bug with about 170h.p launch hard!

I look up into the rear veiw mirror as this bugs lifted the front end up off of the ground! He lands it, slams the brakes on and slides into my CHERRY Fairlanes rear end! I jump out of the drivers seat but before I can grab the dumb ass in the bug one of my friends grabs my arm and tells me the ass end of the fairlane is scratch free!

The Bugs front bumber is bent up like a smile and the hood and both front fenders are smashed to the wheels!

(The fairlane was totaled 6 months later by a DRUNK off duty long Beach COP at 7:30 in the morning)

When my Corvette was 25,000 miles old I had a Korean Gentleman back his full sized toyota truck over it no dammage to his toyota, Two Headlights at $1,250 ea. a hood at $800 and the front bumper cover needed to be replaced at $500

I was in the car when it happened and what did he say "It's awl your FAULT! you no HONK!" I was honking my ass of and I could'nt back up!
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Old 08-14-2010, 08:51 AM
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Quote:
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There's a good reason I leave my draw bar in the receiver year round...
On my Corolla I call it my "parking aid". We are pretty rough here in Wellington.

LOL, when I was a young kid at the races my Mom reversed the Plymouth to far back and whack it hit the front of someones car. Then she drove off comenting on how the Plymouth wasn't going too well. Haha, the towbar had hooked under the other persons car (who must not have had the parking brake on) and she was towing it away.

Old 08-14-2010, 01:38 PM
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