Funny children stories

peppy · 12-02-2009, 12:44 PM

I know you guys have them and I'm in the mood for laughter.

My 2YO son pulled the keys off the babysitters laptop yesterday...I can't stop laughing about it.

M.D. Holloway · 12-02-2009, 01:02 PM

Every night when I come home, the kids hide someplace in the house and try their level best to scare the crap out of me. I swear it is like I am the Pink Panther and I have to crazy Kaytos after me.

Last night our Son had to go out to the garage to get something. For what ever reason he didn't turn on the lights so I was in the dark hallway to the garage and in a low, hissing voice said "whatcha doin!" He let out a scream that woke mommy and lil sis and had me laughing for 30 minutes - pay backs a be ouch boy!

cstreit · cstreit's Garage

My son just turned 4. So one day he asks me... "Dad, why is is there a hole at the end of my *cough*".

Me: "Well son, what comes out of there?"

Him: "Peepee!"

Me: "Right, so if you didn't have a hole their to let it out, you'd fill up with peepee and eventually explode."

MT930 · 12-02-2009, 01:10 PM

One of my girls she was 3 or 4 asked our bald neighbor

" What happened to your hair ?"
Him- it all fell out.
Our daughter -Did you keep any of it?

We all laughed including him

Kids are very funny, the early years questions are priceless.

Laneco · 12-02-2009, 01:22 PM

Our son, 13 in this picture, decided to give himself a hair cut. He wanted a summer "buzz" type cut.

He grabbed Steve's rechargeable electric clippers and began buzzing his hair from front toward the back. Only the clippers weren't all the way charged and gave up the ghost about half way through the job.

Really sucked that it was a school day.

angela

Oh Haha · 12-02-2009, 02:22 PM

My 6yo son decided that his sister needed her hair cut a couple of weeks ago. he cut a huge chunk of of the back, about six inches up, on one side. DOH!!!!

"Jake, why did you cut Sarah's hair?" "She told me to".

She now has a "bob". I hate bobs.

The silly things is that my wife and I were right there in the family room with them. They were cutting out shapes.

peppy · 12-02-2009, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oh Haha

The silly things is that my wife and I were right there in the family room with them. They were cutting out shapes.

They're so darn fast...or am I just old?

Oh Haha · 12-02-2009, 02:27 PM

No, you aren't old. They ARE that fast!!

There is a new adventure just about every day at our house. Some good, some not so good.

I can actually feel my hair turning gray at this point.

ben parrish · 04:02 PM

Two girls; 6 and 2 1/2. Not a day goes by that I don't burst out laughing at something..especially from the 2 1/2 year old.
She is an early riser..nothing like a munchkin standing at the side of your bed at 6:15am saying "daddy, get me my milk!" Sometimes there is a "please" and other times just a bit*h-slap look and a demanding tone.
Wayne has it right, gray hair has invaded my body over the last few years.
I love being a dad!
Ben

VaSteve · 12-02-2009, 04:47 PM

The kids, 4 1/2 and 2 1/2, decided that they were going to start going down the stairs "like a dog". Really, more like an eel...on their bellies. This started during Thansgiving dinner while their uptight uncle and his 3 year old were around. He wouldn't let her do it. I put a stop to it until Monday, while I was at work.

I come home Monday and my son, 4 1/2, has a huge rug burn on his nose, running almost the whole length of the bridge. It's turning into a nice scab. Christmas photos are next Sunday. D'oh!! His little sister and I are calling him Rudolph.

Christien · Christien's Garage

I was out with our daughter at the zoo, and we were in the washroom together. First she went pee, then it was my turn. She looked up, and asked, in a rather loud voice, "daddy, what's wrong with your vagina?" I just about died laughing. Though I must admit I couldn't come up with a good answer! Good thing I'm not easily embarrassed.

Oh Haha · 12-02-2009, 04:49 PM

Sometimes there is a "please" and other times just a bit*h-slap look and a demanding tone.

I got one of those looks tonight from my "princess".

You single guys/gals with no kids don't know what you're missing. What with your dating a different girl each week and being able to steal away anytime you want to do fun stuff.

VaSteve · 12-02-2009, 04:50 PM

When my son was born, I went to Quiznos across the street for lunch while my wife was still in the hospital.

A family was there picking out drinks and the little girl said "Daddy, they don't have any beer for you..." He was so embarrassed while I and his wife laughed.

I had no idea what I would later be in for.

myamoto1 · myamoto1's Garage

My daughter's first sugar high was an adventure for all of us. Near the end of her "crash" I asked what did the sugar do to her. Her response was, "Sugar makes me funner." She was just under 2 at the time.

legion · 12-03-2009, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myamoto1

My daughter's first sugar high was an adventure for all of us. Near the end of her "crash" I asked what did the sugar do to her. Her response was, "Sugar makes me funner." She was just under 2 at the time.

Just wait until she discovers vodka...

myamoto1 · myamoto1's Garage

I'm hoping I have a good 10 - 15 years before that is even a thought in her brain. Then again, she already knows that the Guinness is for daddy and the lesser beers are for everyone else.

sammyg2 · 12-03-2009, 08:49 AM

When he was about 2 or 3, my son used to wake up really early and walk into our bedroom. He's stand there with his face only a few inches from mine and he wouldn't make a sound.

For some reason I'd gradually start to wake up and when I opened up my eyes, there was a face right in front of me.
Scared the crap out of me the first time, when I was startled I said something like oh sheet, don't do that!
That scared him, he started crying and the wife got pissed at me. How was that my fault?

M.D. Holloway · 12-03-2009, 08:57 AM

I was cleaning the garage this weekend with our Son, he was messing around with one of his Air Soft rifles (basically a BB gun that shoots plastic pellets 350fps) and sure enough I get shot in the back of the head.

"WTF!!!"

I look over at him and he is looking down at the gun not even knowing he just shot me and says "Cool, I thought this one was busted..." I just laughed (and cried a little).

Then last night he left a laminated sheet on top of a halogin lamp last night while he vacuum the office.

Why? Becasue 'I had to put it some place Dad'. I guess the desk, bookcase shelf or table wouldn't work. He ended up melting the laminated sheet and blowing out the lamp. I didn't like that lamp anyway...

He is not a dumb kid but man does he do some dumb things sometimes...

Moses · 12-03-2009, 08:57 AM

Happened to a friend of mine...

She was at the butcher shop with her 4 year old daughter. The daughter was staring at the butchers big mustache. In her loud voice in a packed shop she said; "You have a BIG mustwache! My mommy has a mustwache on her wa-gina!"

She never went back to the butcher shop.

Christien · Christien's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moses

Happened to a friend of mine...

She was at the butcher shop with her 4 year old daughter. The daughter was staring at the butchers big mustache. In her loud voice in a packed shop she said; "You have a BIG mustwache! My mommy has a mustwache on her wa-gina!"

She never went back to the butcher shop.

Ok, I think that one's the prize winner!