How would react if your spouse asked you...

fastfredracing · 11-27-2010, 01:53 PM

If her lesbian sister, and her life partner, and their two adopted african american children( 8, and 14 months old) could live with you for a while?. I am not a racist, and their life style does not really bother me, but day um. Say what hon?.
They are moving up to Pa from Texas, and have not found a house or jobs yet, and asked her if they could stay with us for a couple of months. I actually like her sister, we get along well, her life partner is ok, but she is a little opinionated and outspoken.
Right now, I am the king of my castle, the master of my domain ( don't tell her I said that)., but I am scared for my future.
I have pretty much stated that I am not on board for this one, and it really has nothing to do with the ethnic background of their children, or their lifestyle choices. I just cant imagine sharing my home with a family who is already larger than ours. We have a medium sized 4 bdrm ranch house out in the country, and we are already cozy with 3 people. I cannot imagine what 7 people in this house would be like. I have also been on a 5 year mission of remodeling, the kitchen is next, big project, and having a couple of babies around sort of bothers me a little.
I may be spending a lot of time in the shop in the near future.

Zeke · 11-27-2010, 02:02 PM

A pair of anyone will be a burden, especially with kids. I wouldn't want to share my home with 4 more people no matter what their lifestyle is.

Oh Haha · 11-27-2010, 02:18 PM

Resist but you had better be able to offer an option to them living with you.

Why couldn't they rent a place for a couple of months?

Hugh R · 11-27-2010, 02:24 PM

Live as in rent-free? Maybe you get to buy all the food as well? My 81 y/o MIL lives with us because she let herself be brow beaten out of her life savings over the last two decades by my evil SIL so she could support her out of control lifestyle. The MIL is not a real burden, but at 81, she doesn't give a rats ass about anything. She makes herself breakfast or lunch when we're gone and leaves a mess in the kitchen every single time. She runs down the A/C or runs up the heat cause she wants to leave her outside door open for her rat dog that craps in my house and all over the lawn.

My point? No one gives a rip about your house, especially when they're getting it for free, its not their house.

What are they doing with two infants that are 8 and 14 months old if they can't afford to take care of them on their own dime, including shelter? Maybe they should give them back?
Maybe they shouldn't be "life partners' if they can't do it on their own dime?

I didn't see in your post a time limit, so I'm assuming its because they are down on their luck or whatever. If you had stated two weeks or a month that would be one thing, but you didn't so I'm going to assume no time limit has been put forth (years?).

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

My great grandfather had some very wise words on this topic... No home is big enough for two families.

You have rental prop right? Let them stay in one of those for a bit?

campbellcj · 11-27-2010, 02:27 PM

I couldn't do it. If it were really short term like no more than a few weeks, maybe. If I had a huge house or a separate guest house, maybe. But given the circumstances you describe - no effin' way. I hope it works out OK for everyone no matter what you end up deciding.

Joe Bob · Joe Bob's Garage

Find them a place...pay the rent...or move out. Three wimmen in one house....yer nucking futz.

Ya know, they sync once in close proximity....3 OTR at the same time? You'll be insane inside of 4 months.....

onlycafe · 11-27-2010, 02:35 PM

since it has not yet been asked; are they hot?

URY914 · URY914's Garage

No way.

BeyGon · 11-27-2010, 02:37 PM

Help them find another place to rent while waiting, that scenario will never last. and it will be your fault.

rattlsnak · rattlsnak's Garage

My brothers family, (wife & 4 kids) came up for the weekend to escape Katrina and ended up staying 6 months due to the devastation. While it was a PITA at times, his family helped with purchases and cleaning etc.. It drove my wife nuts, but to me it was almost "fun" as he is my family per say and I had great fun playing with all my nieces and nephews as did my kids with their cousins.
My situation was a little different as they lost their home, but to me, it would have been totally different if it would have been her family. It would have drove me nuts I'm sure. Make sure she looks at it from the other shoe.

EarlyPorsche · 11-27-2010, 02:53 PM

No.

Evans, Marv · 11-27-2010, 02:56 PM

You know what ???? Everyone who has offered advice her is spot on. When My sister & her husband came to visit for 4 days, I put them up in a nice motel. Not just for my & my wife's sake, but I figured they needed their space too. A couple of months will likely draw out into 6 months to a year. And yes, if things go south, you will be at fault and I don't think you would want something like that. It could possible have a long term effect on your relationship with your wife. Plus if they overstay their welcome, and you decide to put your foot down, you'll be painted as someone who wants to throw two little kids out on the street. Find them a place to live even if you have to pay or help pay for it. Maybe you know someone who has a granny flat or something similar you could arrange for them to use for awhile. Good luck with that!

Joe Bob · Joe Bob's Garage

I need to post a pic of my Hottie ex and her gay sister......Total Ralph City. Plus she hasn't aged well.

The ex doesn't look at ALL like her Mom in middle age and the gay one is spitten image.

island911 · 11-27-2010, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugh R

....
What are they doing with two infants that are 8 and 14 months old if they can't afford to take care of them on their own dime, including shelter? ...

my thoughts exactly! . . .I mean, C'mon... what kind of warped planet are they from?

I'll bet that they're the type to call you a "homophobic racist" if you were to ask them Hugh's question.

fastfredracing · 11-27-2010, 03:06 PM

Not hot, I should have listed that in the original post, that would be a whole different ball game. And they are not leaches, they both currently work ,and already own a decent home with some property . The will be able afford to buy a home, just the logistics makes buying a home a little trickier. They are both in the medical field, and should not really have too hard of a time finding employment. I believe one has part time work lined up already. It is not really about the money, I honestly wouldn't ask them for money as long as it was a short term arrangement. Like stated above there is just no way in hell, I am going to live with 3 women at this point in my life, especially man hating lesbians. I also picture this being months, not weeks.
Tonight I am making plans for the apartment I am going to build in the last stall of my garage just in case I have to leave.
Pray for me pelicans.

Oh Haha · 11-27-2010, 03:19 PM

Man, I would work OT on finding them a place to live other than yours.

How many bathrooms do you have?

BeyGon · 11-27-2010, 03:25 PM

If they do move in the first thing you should do is buy stock in Charmin, the toilet paper company.

KaptKaos · 11-27-2010, 03:26 PM

BTDT - you should politely decline.

A week or two while the moving vans do their work is one thing. Six months is too much.

tabs · 11-27-2010, 03:29 PM

Now I know I have heard everything...and Good Luck with your new family! LOL