Pelican Parts Forums - The Man Code

Quote:

Originally Posted by dondarnell (Post 5709430)

#34 - A man shall never write a check at Home Depot, Lowes, or any hardware store.

A man should never write a check at any store. If you can't use your debit card, use a credit card. Otherwise, you can't afford it. Why should others wait in line behind you while you write a check, which, of course, you don't even start writing until your total is shown? I want to kill the women who do this. They deserve to die a slow death.

Now that I've got some Johnny Walker in me, let's add a few more:

A man shall not use a treadmill in a gym unless he's going faster than he would when walking down the street.... unlike the fat heifers who get all dressed up for the gym and then walk on the treadmill at a glacial pace and consider it exercise.

A man shall never use a cell phone while on a treadmill. Have some respect even for those who don't deserve it.

A man shall keep his package covered in the locker room except while getting into and out of the shower and getting dressed. Walking around naked, making smalltalk with others is never ever acceptable.

A man shall not rest on gym equipment. If you're not exercising or starting your next set in within 30 seconds, move to the sofas and let someone else use it.

A man shall NEVER f&ck with another man's car. NEVER.

A man shall never cry to get out of a speeding ticket or while getting arrested. Take your lumps. There is no shame in cuff scars on your wrists.

A man does not dilute bourbon with water unless by ice cubes.

A man does not purposely rip holes in his jeans to make them look more worn or cool. If they haven't developed on their own, just wait them out.

A man never drank any of the "clear" beers of the early 90's such as Zima or even thought about drinking a wine cooler.

A man would never even think of camping out to buy the latest Apple product on the first day it's available. In fact, he makes an honest effort to drive by such idiots and call them names out his car window.

I'll think of some after a few more drinks.