Slutty Italian B*tch

[Jeff Higgins]

With a rare break in the local weather the other day, I found myself with the opportunity to go out on a date with what my wife calls my "Italian mistress", my old 900 Super Sport Ducati. I had been giving her a bit of TLC anyway, chasing an oil leak on the vertical cylinder, so it was time for a test ride.

All was well until I was on my way home and a kind gentleman in a Mustang pulled alongside at a stoplight to inform me that my tail light was out. Not a big deal, as I had my Park multi-tool (from my cycling days) onboard, and a stop at an auto parts store was right on the way home.

Well, after a brief investigation (and a new bulb), it was determined the socket was at fault, not the bulb. So, I fiddly-dicked around with it for about half an hour, and finally got the light working. Only to have killed the teeny little watch battery that passes for a "motorcycle" battery on these machines.

With 12.5:1 Cosworth slugs filling the bores, I knew there was little hope of bump starting without a hill about the size of Pike's Peak. The chain store auto parts place had no way to jump it. *****. This could be a long night. Then it dawned on me...

There was a motorcycle shop mere blocks away. "Cyclepath" is as hard-core of an independent, old school Harley shop as one is likely to find. I buy most of the stuff I need for my old Ironhead Sportster there - surely, they would give me a jump. So I started pushing (thank god it's only 365 pounds...).

Upon my arrival, none of the usual suspects recognized me. The Dianese jacket with "Ducati" emblazoned across the chest and back gave them pause, and I could tell they were collectively wondering what this putze in his Power Ranger suit was doing in their shop. Then the lights started to come on, one at a time, faintly at first...

"Jeff???!!" one of them asked. "What the hell ya doin'??" I explained, and a couple of the good guys in there were immediately falling over themselves to open the roll-up door, push the bike in, find a battery and jumper cables, and help me out. Harley guys are good people.

They were a sight to behold. Gathered around the old Super Sport like the apes around the monolith in 2001 - it was like they had never seen one up close. Surrounded by some kick-ass custom Harleys, the old gal was suddenly belle of the ball, with half a dozen tattooed tough guys checking her out.

She fired on the first crank, but they weren't letting me off that easy. A cup of coffee as she idled away in the showroom, surrounded by big, burly custom Harleys, with customers coming and going - and gawking. She was in her glory, not having garnered so much attention since she was new and shiny on some showroom floor. I was starting to think she had done it on purpose.

What a slut.

[Crowbob]

Bravo!

[Joeaksa]

Brings back memories... excellent post!

[HardDrive]

Harley guys look gruff, but the non-HOG guys will help you out if your friendly. Anything with an air cooled v-twin that sounds pissed off is all right with them. The HOG guys are too busy taking pictures of themselves on their bikes with their Blackberry, and e-mailing it to their orthodontist friends.

[lisa_spyder]

Jeff,

Gorgeous post!

FWIW we have a 'group' of Harley guys near the workshop...an organised club of them . Apart from being the best security we could ever wish for; these guys spend half their time in the workshop drooling over the Porsches. Favorite cars thus far for them - a beautifully 'aged' 2.4E in ivory and a one owner with lots of patina 356C also ivory. They don't go for the big stuff, the loud stuff, the 'look at me' cars...says a lot about these guys...big softies

[Shaun @ Tru6]

awesome story!

[billybek]

Some girls just need constant attention!

Thanks for the entertaining post....

[MotoSook]

Good thread/post.


When the weather broke here last time (Januray 2nd) the roads had been washed clean by an unusual rain and the temp was in the 30's. I fired up my Italian b!tech (also a 900 SS) and took her for a ride down the road. Except with the FCR carbs it wasn't as easy to get her juices flowing. After a lot of hard to get antics in the barn she finally settled down with a lot of protest when I rolled on her...she'd spit and pop in the cold air. Managed to get a decent idle eventually, but my hands and thighs were stiff by then so it was back to the confines of the barn after only a few miles.

My buddy's fuel injected hottie from Italy was more compliant. I'm keeping her in the barn for him over the winter. A 748, she fired right up without any of the foreplay necessary with older finicky Italian b!tches....we had a nice short blast down the road in front of the house.

Sometimes, it's nice to have a younger hot thang hidden away for a quick roll.

[sc_rufctr]

I hope you spanked her really hard once you got her away from those dirty bikers...

Seriously... She sounds like a sexy lady. Good for you.

I've always wanted a naked Ducati.

[Danimal16]

Jeff,

That was just darn fun to read. I love that part of gear-head-dom. Sounds like one solidly fun time!!!!

I think your Italian Girl friend likes the tough guys????

[Danimal16]

Oh and if your tale of adventure and romance is not a candidate for best post of the year, what the heck, it should be.

[stomachmonkey]

At one of the biker bars I used to frequent as a youth if you showed up on a ricer you were likely to come out and find your ride dangling from a rope up in a tree.

Ducs and BMW's were always welcome.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

At one of the biker bars I used to frequent as a youth if you showed up on a ricer you were likely to come out and find your ride dangling from a rope up in a tree.

Ducs and BMW's were always welcome.

There is a harley bar in Tucson named the "Bashful Bandit"... it was a pretty rough place. Had two posts coming out of the front facade.

If you pulled up on any bike that was not a harley, it ended up on one of the posts and stayed there until the parts fell off...

[Laneco]

Power Ranger suit? You crack me up Jeff!

I was once riding down in Orange County on my bicycle. I'd been wandering a bit and was absolutely starving. I spotted a tavern with a quite a few motorbikes in front of it, nothing Italian and nothing Japanese - it wasn't that kind of place.

Well dang it, I was HUNGRY! Been on the bicycle 5 or 6 hours. So I stopped, leaned the little leg-powered rocket against the rail and ordered lunch. It was a great stop! The guys were really cool. I think they were diggin' the tiara on my bicycle helmet!

angela

[flatbutt]

GREAT story Jeff. My skinny Italian is getting somewhat impatient. So I moved her from the library to the kitchen for a spell.

[id10t]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

Harley guys look gruff, but the non-HOG guys will help you out if your friendly. Anything with an air cooled v-twin that sounds pissed off is all right with them. The HOG guys are too busy taking pictures of themselves on their bikes with their Blackberry, and e-mailing it to their orthodontist friends.

Based on my limited experience (dropping a buddy off to pick up his new Road King) they at least appreciate classic Porsches even if they are rusty (like my 356)

[azasadny]

When I drove my '74 911 to Florida back in March 2007, it was during "Bike Week" and those motorcycle folks were very kind to me and we had a great time! The Days Inn in St Augustine, FL was rocking!

[M.D. Holloway]

Jeff,
No pics of that Italian slut? Dude! Hook a brotha up!!!

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by Soukus

Good thread/post.


When the weather broke here last time (Januray 2nd) the roads had been washed clean by an unusual rain and the temp was in the 30's. I fired up my Italian b!tech (also a 900 SS) and took her for a ride down the road. Except with the FCR carbs it wasn't as easy to get her juices flowing. After a lot of hard to get antics in the barn she finally settled down with a lot of protest when I rolled on her...she'd spit and pop in the cold air. Managed to get a decent idle eventually, but my hands and thighs were stiff by then so it was back to the confines of the barn after only a few miles.

My buddy's fuel injected hottie from Italy was more compliant. I'm keeping her in the barn for him over the winter. A 748, she fired right up without any of the foreplay necessary with older finicky Italian b!tches....we had a nice short blast down the road in front of the house.

Sometimes, it's nice to have a younger hot thang hidden away for a quick roll.

I had an 98 900 FE for a little while. I loved riding it when it was running right. But it was an ornery SOB a lot of the time. Its replacement, a 748S, starts up every time.(Knock on wood)

[Dan J]

Well here in buried up to my arse in snow Ct I got to sit on mine today
It did start right up though (99 996S) Don't miss carbs at all. Maybe I'll get to ride it in May