My fav:

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, that implies a possibility of failure, Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door,

In the beginning there was nothing. Chuck Norris round-house kicked it and said "get a job"! and that's how the universe was invented.

Chuck Norris invented the theory of relativity.
When Einstein tried to steal it, Chuck Norris round-house kicked him and turned him into Steven Hawking.

The boogy-man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling corn to lay the F down.

Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "who has the most balls" contest. Chuck Norris won by five.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Theres a new energy drink made from Chuck Norris' urine - Red Bull!

Lightening doesn't strike Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris strikes lightening.

When a zombie bites Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch, he decides what time it is.

On most guys, one testicle is larger than the other.
On Chuck Norris, both are larger than the other.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.