Medical Ethics: I asked a Dr. out

[Jess]

I suffered a pretty major accident about six weeks ago that left me with six broken ribs and a fractured scapula. Needless to say, it's not been a great summer for me.

Anyway, I'm finally beginning to feel a little better and had a follow up appointment today with an MD I had never met before. She was compassionate, smart, funny, and pretty. When I told her I was bored from not be able to do anything she asked what could be done to change that. I told her that a cup of coffee together would go a long way towards that end. She said she couldn't because of her position but otherwise she'd love to.

Is this an ethics issue? Did she just use it as an excuse and really had no interest? Maybe a rule specific to this hospital?

It was such a short visit it would be a shame if it ruined my chances!

Thanks,

Jesse

[Noah930]

Yes, the doc may have been politely declining. However, it is illegal for a doc to date a patient. It's usually listed somewhere in the state's licensing regulations. Unlikely a doc would lose his/her license, but if there was a complaint to the medical board, the doc would get some sort of reprimand.

[Tobra]

When you are no longer a patient, you could send a note or something to ask her out for coffee. So hurry up and get better

If she still says no, it is just you.

[billybek]

Originally Posted by Tobra

When you are no longer a patient, you could send a note or something to ask her out for coffee. So hurry up and get better

If she still says no, it is just you.

That was good!

It's not me, it's you....

Good luck and get better!

[Jess]

Guys, thanks for the replies.

Nice to know there is at least a chance she could have been interested.

I'd like nothing more than to get better. This has been the most painful experience of my life.

[Noah930]

Hope you feel better soon. 6 cracked ribs and a broken scapula is a pretty major injury. Even if she doesn't go out with you, you're a pretty lucky guy.

[Rick Lee]

I dated a hotshot doctor once, a viral epidemiologist at NIH. What a pain in the ass. She was so busy, it was ridiculous. She was divorced from an airline pilot. Big surprise, since they never saw each other. Dates were planned long in advance. It was kind of funny when she told me to go get a blood test and gave me a list of stuff to ask them to screen for. My doctor asked why I wanted this and if some other doctor had ordered it. I said, "Well, sort of."

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

I dated a hotshot doctor once, a viral epidemiologist at NIH. What a pain in the ass. She was so busy, it was ridiculous. She was divorced from an airline pilot. Big surprise, since they never saw each other. Dates were planned long in advance. It was kind of funny when she told me to go get a blood test and gave me a list of stuff to ask them to screen for. My doctor asked why I wanted this and if some other doctor had ordered it. I said, "Well, sort of."

You dated Joe's wife?

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by red-beard

You dated Joe's wife?

In an amazing coincidence I am very close with the daughter (now a doctor) of Joe's ex-wife's former boss (a very well-known heart specialist) in Germany. She was in my class in Germany when I was an exchange student and I just saw her at our 20th reunion there in May. Small world these doctor types run in.

[john70t]

Some of what you are feeling is the caregiver reimbursement syndrome, with a splash of edipal, as well as self-reincarnation:
-She helped you, you want to repay her.
-She nurtured you with motherly qualities, you're attracted and intrigued.
-You're back on your feet and ready to rock and roll, with the ladies as well.

I'm hoping there's a spark, but most doctors see people at their worst of states during the incredibly long hours at their job. When the patients get better, they leave.
Wink. Smile. Whatever works best to make the patient happy.
Then, onto the next room.
It's just a processing sort of thing to make their work more effective.

You could write her an email thanking her for her efforts, and hint at what you are up to. Anything more than that might be interpreted wrong. That would be the polite thing for any doctor, male or female.

But brainy women that pull six figures per year make the decisions, and women usually choose upwards. Just one of those things in life.

[Moses]

When you are no longer a patient, you could send a note or something to ask her out for coffee. So hurry up and get better



If she still says no, it is just you.

Yep. Send her a note saying you are no longer her patient and ask her out. No problem with that approach.

[tweezers74]

I am a nurse and yeah, it is a known thing not to date patients. Maybe if you weren't a patient anymore. But honestly, after 15 years of nursing, I have never dated a patient or even thought of it. And I can't even think of one doctor or nurse that I know who has. We date each other but not our patients.

[LakeCleElum]

She would be going way out on a limb to date you. I recently bought an old car from a female doc......She was nervous as hell. All communication was done first via snail mail and then thru her personal email. She didn't want me to come to her home and wanted to meet at a public park.....Finally relented when she couldn't get the car started.......At her home, she was waiting in the yard, and only opened one side of the partitioned garage. We signed papers in her driveway......I understood where she was coming from and made sure I didn't mention my visit to her office or anything to do with her profession......

Licensing for Doc's and attorneys prohibits relationships with patients/clients. Sorry.

[livi]

Sorry to hear about your painful summer. I usually donīt date my patients, nor their mothers, but if there is a mutual interest its no problem. Just tell her you have changed doctors and no longer regard her as you physician.

Would work with me.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by livi

Sorry to hear about your painful summer. I usually donīt date my patients, nor their mothers...

Thanks for the early morning chuckle Markus !

[livi]

You are very welcome!

[Geronimo '74]

Yeah, good one, obviously you're way too old for your patients...

[livi]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

Yeah, good one, obviously you're way too old for your patients...

Obviously. But this occupation gives the phrase MILF a whole new perspective.

[Tobra]

Mother I'd Like to Fluff?

[vash]

Originally Posted by john70t

Some of what you are feeling is the caregiver reimbursement syndrome, with a splash of edipal, as well as self-reincarnation:
.

LOL!^^^^

i have a confession. my last doc was a woman. not attractive at all physically. well, she was very fit. short hair, glasses, nerdy..89% sure she was a lesbian. and she would have been the MAN in any lesbian relationship, i'm sure.

BUT..she had a very cute voice, and something about how she touched..i kid you not..i got a harmless crush on her. it was embarrassing. even my wife made fun of me.

something to what John70 has to say. something very strange when a woman makes the pain go away.

my current doc is a super cute indian woman.