Good insights here.
 

We can't force things to be the way they were. My wife's family has gotten even smaller, it appears.

i've dropped out myself for 4-5 years, did me good to be away from the messed up family dynamics, came back bigger, badder and stronger then before..

We have a situation that will turn into a drop-out. My aunt (my mom's sister) is just about broke, "borrowed" money from her mom as an advance on her inheritance to finish a house her son-in-law is building for her.....all by himself. It's been almost seven yrs. since this started, no end in sight, money has run out, aunt's daughter just had a baby and now the son-in-law has to get a real job with health insurance, which means he can't finish the house. Meanwhile, there's a good chance my grandmother will live long enough to need every last penny she has (she's 90) and so that inheritance advance will never be repaid to the estate, my mom will get nothing and probably have to pay out of pocket to handle the estate. It's a mess. Aunt is also a raging alcoholic.

+1

It took me a few years to figure that out.

Oddly enough, my family has another saying: friends are the family members you get to pick. :)

Our family has always been fragmented, even before it finally blew apart when my parents divorced. Not sure who was dropping out on whom, but we have had long stretches with little contact at times.

You want to believe that time will heal old wounds, that people with get wiser as they age. Sadly, thats not always true. Some people latch on to a life strategy, and drive it straight into the ground, no matter who they hurt or alienate in the process. Accepting that is hard, because to an outsider, its so clear that the person is heading down a dark path, but they can't see it.

Time does not heal old wounds. I come from a family of six siblings. I hang out with two of my siblings, I have another living with me and barely talk to the other two. One of the ones I do not talk to is a sister one year older then me. She beat me up when we were younger because I borrowed a pair of shoes. I will never forget and I will never speak to her except when she is asking a question directly to me. Am I ok with this? You bet.

Like others have said they may be family but it does not mean that you have to like them.

Another one, the sperm donor with my mother. He left when I was less then 1. He came back for a day when I was 2 and I did not see him again until my mother died this year. He wants a relationship with me but I have told him I am not interested. He is not my father. He was never there for me or anyone else in the family. Some of my sibs want a relationship with him and invite him over to events. For events that I attend, I will be polite but that is it. That is all I can afford the man who laft 44 years ago.

Some may see this as sad but I do not. I am happy with the way I live and the people I engage with.

I'm with Kim.

Oh, and have a family member drop out? Uh, that would be me. Nothing left of my family but a cousin I see once in 3-4 years. He's 70 miles from me. The rest are all in-laws and I try to see them about every 3-4 years.

Doesn't always work out.

Exactly how I run my life

WRT family, I am the most fortunate person I have ever known. I can not imagine I could have done better if I got to choose and had years to research the subject.

Regarding the subject of the thread, if it is me, I give it a shot, if it does not work out, you did what you coud.