I'm not a "Gentleman"
 

Listen, I have manners, I hold doors open for ANY woman, I say please and thank you, I try to be polite.

But, when I'm standing at the auto zone, wearing flip flops, cargo shorts and a tee shirt that says "Van Halen, World Tour 1988", PLEASE do not call me a gentleman.

I'm talking about the counterman saying to his colleague; "Bob, I think the Gentleman over there is next."

How about just "Bob, that man is next."

The overuse of the term has caused it to sound condescending or/or patronizing and I'm tired of it.

Rant over.

Huh, OK. I don't care if they say "gentleman", "guy", "man" or "dude".

I generally try to use "sir" and "ma'am". Is that the same?

I get a little bothered when people call me sir or Mr. Too formal. I'm just Dave.

Anymore, at a store I am happy to be acknowledged.

Dave

I get a bit bent when they get all familiar and use the first name. If I don't know you, you don't need to be doing that. I treat people with respect and expect the same. If you prove to be unworthy of respect, I am not rude but not respectful. When my daily driver got totalled a few months ago, they are getting all familiar and friendly as they were screwing me over. After a few weeks of it, I told them to quit trying to blow sunshine up my skirt, telling me you want to resolve it quickly and get me all the money I was due. You want to get off as cheap as possible, don't BS me about it. I was born at night, but it was not last night.

I am much nicer in real life than I am here. Sorry Hugh, I am just can't pull it off, I know your policy and aspire to one day be as much of a gentleman as you are.

Steve, it just shows you were raised right

+1 The "sir" reminds of my Dad and when it comes from a cutie makes me feel older :(

My father (b.1926) always gave me a hard time when I called a strange woman a "lady". He would ask me how I knew she was a lady? To him, they were born a woman - a lady was cultured!

Oh, and I'm 48 today, and (unfairly to others) I really don't like being called "sir". My bad...

I don't get sir very often... ;)


Oh and I knew most of you guys weren't gentelmen a long time ago...

Yep, I always tell em that my Father was Sir, I'm just Byron...
I prefere Brunettes:D

I also have a shirt from that VH tour. I don't think most folks get it anymore.

I (most Swedes) would probably come off very rude in USA. We don´t have the tradition of using words like Sir or Ma'am. It is a pretty useful phrase however when trying to get the attention of someone unknown. We had the same words in Sweden but they were more or less lost in practice decades ago.

But unlike English, most other European languages have a formal and informal tense for "you." So you're sort of saying "sir" by using the formal tense of you for adult strangers.

Thats true but not in Swedish alas.

I'm pretty sure you would rather be called a gentleman than what they call you after you leave.

Professionalism. Get used to it. Being older, and getting called sir. Get used to it.

Yes Sir! :)

This is a good example of how culture is different in different parts of this country. You simply cannot lump "Americans" together.

Here, people are very respectful to each other and no one would be offended by being called a Gentleman. Where I lived in Upstate New York, what would pass for normal speech might be considered rude here.

I'm am used to, "HEY that azzhole is next."

This is what angers you? Being referred to as a gentleman by counter workers in an auto parts store?

I personally save getting "wound up" for more "unique" occasions. Just as one poster aid, today I'm just happy when store staff notice me at all. Cheers

I'm not angry; If I came across as that, then I went too far. I just think that we as a society label ordinary or meaningless situations as somewhat extraordinary:

• Britney Spears has an album that sells a million copies; the press anoints her a Diva. How does that make someone like Eartha Kitt or Aretha Franklin feel?

• A citizen rescues a kitten, he's called Hero. Personally, I use the word Hero a lot more sparingly.

• A smelly, drunk fatso wearing bib overalls with no shirt is referred to as a "Gentleman" at the local Walmart. Really?


See, the thing is, I feel that it dumbs down society if everyone gets to be special. I know that this is America where everyone has a chance to be what ever they want, the social strata allows for lateral movement; lucky us! USA! USA!
But to those who have put in the work to become something special, something better, shouldn't they be allowed to have their moment? Enjoy the fruits of their labors?

I'm guessing I'm just too nostalgic, and probably for something that never was.

Gentlemen...start your engines

That's the one I never got....

I guess I just don't see the term "gentleman" as a unique description of a well dressed, well mannered, well "monied" man. I think in our society, when the term "gentleman" is used by a stranger, it is used as a respectful term and not as a put down. My sense of what you are saying is that because you were dressed ...uh, casually, you felt that the store guy put you down by using the term. Myself, I personally don't think so...but you were there, maybe there was other "tells" that indicated that that was his intent. Cheers

[COLOR="Green"]I'm sure he was just trying too avoid a lawsuit..

'he dis-respected me..'
COLOR]

Rika

I think that this is probably pretty true, the service sector has to bend over backwards to avoid potential problems.

When I'm waiting in line somewhere and say to the clerk, "This gentleman was next," I'm not only trying to be civilized - I'm also giving the person the benefit of the doubt. I would hope for the same from others.

If its a function of dress or appearance, what would the nature of this post be if he called you bro or dude

Sounds like it may have been said patronizingly. Almost like a put down?

Wearing flip-flops you definitely didn't qualify as a "gentleman".

I always assume someone is a gentleman or a lady until they prove otherwise.

Bernie

I got sir once, looked around for people behind me before I realized oh.... she's talking to me

Next time shave your privates first, then when they say something, look down at your shorts and say; they must be talking about you little fella.:D

When someone calls me Sir I find it amusing that they assume I have been Knighted.

Maybe OP doesnt want to be presumed a gentleman?

Being born and raised in the south, saying Sir, Ma'am, please, thank-you, etc. are automatic for most even if you are Tabs on the receiving end. Also opening, and holding doors open and letting women enter elevators first too. We can still be azzholes, but we're quite polite about it :)

ps: We also actually let cars merge in too...oh, the horror!

Call me professor or doctor. Gentleman just does not cut it for me ;).

Geeze, Give someone else who is trying to be polite a break, will you?
I urge service staff to never judge someone by their dress, posture, facial features or expression, race, or accessories.

If you think the term "Gentleman" was meant to be condescending or patronizing, it must have been delivered with a whole dose of sarcasm.

As stated above, at least the staff noticed and acknowledged you. In this day and age that is something to be happy about.

Oh heck, I'm just glad young women smile at me. I try not to think it's because I remind them of their Grand dad.

Hang in there.
Les

So how do you get the attention of someone whose name you do not know?

I guess those two would work for me also.....wouldn't be accurate, but still it would sure make me feel important. Some of us only have "gentleman"...LOL,or you or guy or dude...etc...

I really don't get this thread. People are complaining because someone was polite to them?

Weird thread.

angela