Need Your insight on a Letter I Wrote to the Parents of My Soccer Team

[M.D. Holloway]

So far we have had a great season - even though we have a few girls who have never played soccer before. We have a post-season tournamnet coming up. Here is a letter I penned as a follow-up to the parents. Let me know what you think.

Rarely does one get to have the memory of playing for a winning team. We have scored 54 goals this year and only let 8 in. That is an amazing statistic! But its not about the winning per se. Its more than that. We all want our kiddos to grow, and flourish and become strong independent people and that comes from our guidance as well as their hard work and discipline. With discipline, I don't mean yelling and swatting them I mean the act of taking on a task and seeing through to completion. To engage in a repetitive action that is designed to improve performance (drills, practice, the boring stuff). We all know that discipline is one of the most difficult things to instill upon a child but there is one thing that helps nourish discipline and thats success.

The D-Bugs have been very successful this season and the past not because we have better skills, or better coaching or a better team philosophy but because we as coaches insist upon focus above all else. I know we may seem a little tough on the girls. We both have girls that have been playing for years now. But we also know how they feel when they let a ball in a goal or miss a winning shot. The tears after are acid on our souls. As fathers we look deep and ask our selves what more can we do?

Fathers are fixers, problem solvers. To have our little girl in tears is as bad as it gets and for her to cry because she just wasn't good enough at that time or didn't have her focus on, well...thats something I think we can help with. Instilling focus. This is perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of coaching 8 and 9 year olds! Often they are more interested in a dog they see or an acorn or a friend on another team. Lets now loose our focus and forget that they are still little ones. I know its tough. (I put a ton of pressure on ours. I expect, no make that demand perfection often with Mouse. With our situation, her and her brother have to take on additional responsibilities with in our home. It is what it is. So, if you hear me get on her sometimes, I have a pretty good understanding of her pressure level. I know her breaking point and I won't hit it.)

All that being said, this tournament is a great opportunity to build upon a confidence foundation that we are looking to establish with our girls. Its tough enough being a girl in today's demanding, bitter, snide society. The ridicule and judgments that girls face these days is social abuse. Developing our girls into independent, strong, confident young ladies can only help.

If you and your daughter decide to compete in the tournament in the post -season it may mean two practices a week. It may also mean weekend practices. It means commitment. We may have to ramp up the level of focus exercise but please let us know how they are in terms of their emotions. We don't want to ruin them only make them better. With that commitment shall spring forth success and that success will be a memory that these fine young ladies all shall take with them into the formative years.

Please consider having your daughter make the commitment.

[McLovin]

Honestly, IMO that's way, way over the top and too much. Too wordy, too rambling. These are 8 and 9 year old babies kicking a soccer ball around. Any writing, as you know, needs to be appropriate to the context and audience.

I'd be scratching my head if I got that letter from an 8/9 yo girls soccer coach. Somewhat strange.

(And there's a bunch of typos, too).

As far as changing the letter, I don't think you need any letter. What extra "commitment" are you asking for? I assume you can't really drop players or add additional players, so what is the purpose of the letter?

If you want to have extra practices, I'd just tell the parents about it and encourage them to have their kids attend.

[Cdnone1]

Is this a club team, private team, or a school team?
Steve

[sammyg2]

I vote you send em the KFC letter you wrote instead.

[stomachmonkey]

Yeah, I'm not getting it.

I bet you get more drop out than stay in with that letter.

This needs simple.

We made the tournament.

We will be holding extra practices for the next x weeks.

We understand the additional commitment may not be something that everyone can meet but we encourage all our parents and girls to try and participate.

[Rot 911]

That letter is just weird.

[Burnin' oil]

Dear Coach,

We have decided that little Nancy won't be able to play on your team any longer.

Thank you and please don't have any further contact with our children.

XXX

[VaSteve]

Wow. Just wow.

Simple is better, like stomachmonkey said.

Try this:

If you and your daughter decide to compete in the tournament in the post -season it may mean two practices a week. It may also mean weekend practices. It means commitment. We may have to ramp up the level of focus exercise

I'd honestly be worried about having you around my kids thinking about their "emotions" and all that. It's a ****ing soccer game. Worry about your own kid and the others will worry about theirs.

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by Rot 911

That letter is just weird.

LOL. I tried to be a little more diplomatic, but I agree, it is weird.

"The tears after are acid on our souls," from your 8 year old's soccer coach, WTF? The rambling, the bizarre and defensive self confessional about "Mouse" and her breaking point and brothers at home, (TMI! as the kids say), you are going to have parents thinking Coach has been hitting the bottle (and keyboard) a little too hard.

I agree with Sammy, go with the KFC letter instead.

[scottmandue]

Perhaps a simpler approach?

Yo! We kicked a$$ seabass!! Get in our way and y'all goin down! We will crush the opposition and drink their blood!!!

[dtw]

That is some seriously scary, maudlin, wordy, schmaltzy tripe. I'd consider a restraining order after reading that.

Go with Scott's suggestion.

[M.D. Holloway]

hmmm... prehaps my stomach issue has moved to my head? My horoscope says not to engage in any sort of ramble statements of any kind until further notified. I should take heed.

[Z-man]

Lube - you didn't send that letter before asking the Pelican Braintrust about it, did you?!?

-Z

[Gogar]

Sorry, Mike. That's too much. It's the Doodlebugs, for Christ's sake.

[madmmac]

Hopefully you did not send this.

You may have lost sight on what is important at this age for a coach....FUN.

[willtel]

Shorter version:

Play hard D-Bugs, don't suck!

[mossguy]

Parts of this thread remind me of parts of the roof lady thread.

[IROC]

Yikes. I hope my daughter doesn't want to play soccer if this is the kind of stuff she's got to look forward to.

[Erakad]

Don't send the original, stay on topic and focused, and remember....brevity is your friend, and KISS (keep it simple stupid).

[Burnin' oil]

I appreciate the candidness of the board; pull no punches.