Do you wince when you get a wedding invitation?

[Rick Lee]

Just yesterday I was invited to a wedding on Friday, 11/11, which is two days after I get back from another business trip and the day before I go to China for three weeks. The couple are great people, but far from close friends. Groom apologized profusely for the late notice, having belatedly realized he had never mailed our invite and was going over the RSVP's before he realized he'd marked us off the list because of another guest with a name similar to mine.

Mrs. Lee and I met this couple while trying to buy Rush tix at Mandalay Bay in Vegas three yrs. ago. Groom sold us a pair of 7th row floor for $300 and he and his wife-to-be sat with us. They're from Phoenix, so we said we'd keep in touch, which lasted about two mos. Two yrs. later we actually bumped into them again at the Rush concert in Vegas and, in an amazing coincidence, their seats were right next to ours. What are those odds? So we figured we really should stay in touch this time and did hang out at the Rush show in Phoenix this past June. That's it.

And now we're invited to their wedding?

Wedding is very close by, it starts at 1:30pm and it's at a museum in the desert I"ve kind of always wanted to go check out. Reception is at their large property nearby with live band. I told him I can come because I work from home, but wifey cannot leave work that day because her company is very picky about vacations and it's the day before a very long one for her. I won't know a soul there except for the bride and groom. I'm thinking of riding my motorcycle and not getting real dressed up for this one. What the hell do I do for a gift?

[vash]

send a gift with a note apologizing for not going.

i wouldnt go. not under those circumstances.

[motion]

Rush tickets?

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Free booze + hot bridesmaids?

What's not to like?

[svandamme]

i don't understand the problem

You're a free man, either you go , or you don't
I don't even think you owe a gift, just a nice congrats card will do just fine if you don't actually know em better then that.

[MRM]

Send a card with a modest gift card and your regrets for not being able to attend. Give your best wishes on their union and your hopes that you can get together with them someday in the indefinite future, possibly the next time Rush plays Phoenix. I think they were just being polite by inviting you and they thought they were honoring you by inviting you. I don't think they really meant to put you on the spot. Polite regrets will be most appropriate and appreciated.

[Rick Lee]

Yes, the gift and regrets cards might be the way to go. Normally, I like going to great lengths to show up somewhere when people think I won't make it. But I'm looking at about five more nights in my own bed before early December - riding to UT to hit some national parks tomorrow for four days, off to Portland and Seattle for business the next week and then need to get my life in the US on autopilot before heading to China. I really don't need any other obligations on my calendar for a while. Groom could have invited me months ago and it wouldn't have changed things. I'm never busier than during the week before a long overseas vacation.

[nostatic]

Nothing wrong with a polite decline. Only so many things you can do in a day/week/month.

[widgeon13]

I'd skip it.

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by nostatic

nothing wrong with a polite decline. Only so many things you can do in a day/week/month.

+1

[masraum]

No, I wouldn't go.

[porsche4life]

I would go... But I don't have a wife to answer to if I ding a bridesmaid....

[RANDY P]

"Flyin to China that day, sorry"

[Dueller]

RSVP declining. Nothing else.

[JavaBrewer]

Originally Posted by MRM

Send a card with a modest gift card and your regrets for not being able to attend.

+1. Most likely the fiance added you to the invite list. Women go sorta nuts over wedding stuff and she might be covering her bases etiquette wise. My wife did - we had a small (60 person) wedding and at least 2 of the couples in attendance were strictly etiquette invites - we never saw either of them again. LOL.

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

off to Portland business

If you have time, send a shout out when you'll be here and maybe a few Pelicanbobs can say howdy. Heck, I think even Joesaksa enjoyed hanging out with the liberals for an hour or two.

[Zeke]

You'd just be there with a whole bunch of people you don't know. They aren't in your circle of friends if you have friends.

Yeah, I'd send a nice note and a Rush compilation CD or something.

[Joe Bob]

Bridesmaids get horny when in close proximity to champagne and a wedding cake. Unfortunately it cures BJs with the bride.....