I'm 60

wdfifteen · wdfifteen's Garage

Being 60 is great. I don’t have to worry about being attractive any more. I know I’m not going to be physically attractive to any woman who has fewer wrinkles than I do and I don’t need any more “just friends.” Even if the unimaginable would happen, she’d better bring her own Viagra. That stuff’s expensive and I’m done footing the bill for every roll in the hay.
I got in off the road today after 9 hours of driving. I was wearing comfortable clothes – meaning I looked like I’d just gotten out of bed. I haven’t combed my hair all week. This is not a fashion statement. When I left home I’d only remembered my hairbrush on the fourth attempt to get out of the driveway before remembering something I’d forgotten. If I hadn’t also forgotten the charger for my iPhone I probably would not have gone back for it. It has been in the back of the car with the cameras and my extra pair of comfortable shoes all week.
The restaurant next to the motel happened to be an Applebees, which serves Tangueray gin and various substances that pass for food. I fumbled for my glasses as I shambled through the door and told the female greeter I wanted a comfortable seat and lots of space to spread out the daily newspaper. Not that long ago I would have assessed her attractiveness, but I was having trouble with my glasses, besides – and this is what is key - I didn’t really care what she looked like. She offered me a seat in one of those high tables for four that are meant for chatty people to sit at and socialize. I didn’t want to socialize. I didn’t even want to talk to her. I pointed to a booth sized for a family of eight and told her I’d sit there.
Not that many years ago I would have been checking out the clientele and the waitresses and enjoying the views, but I was still fumbling with my damn glasses as I settled into the booth. Some bubbly kid came to the table and started to talk. I held up my hand, “Tanguerey, up, very dry, two olives,” and turned back to my paper. It took a bit more fumbling before I realized one of the lenses of my glasses was missing and that was the reason I couldn’t see the paper – or the possibly hot waitresses, or the menu. I kind of cared about the menu.
About then I began to consider what I must look like from the other side of the broken glasses. Not that long ago I would have been very concerned about the image I projected. I prided myself on being alert, smart, well dressed, dignified, and exuding class. But there I was, a gray haired, bearded, disheveled guy trying to read the paper through a pair of glasses with one lens. I kind of hoped I wasn’t drooling, but didn’t really care. F-ck em, I’m 60.

HardDrive · 11-01-2011, 07:56 PM

Punk rock isn't a dress code, its an attitude.

genrex · 11-01-2011, 08:11 PM

“Tanguerey, up, very dry, two olives”

Tangueray is my favorite. But in drink nomenclature, what does "up" mean?

I guess it means you're one up on me...

epbrown · 11-01-2011, 09:32 PM

I'm happy for you, but that's not how I'll be doing my 60s, thanks.

Dottore · 11-01-2011, 09:45 PM

I'll be there in a few years, and get the point.

One of the great privileges of growing older is that you can be as eccentric as you want to be.

Kids are always worried about "fiitting in". Well fark that!

Make mine a Bombay. Straight up. With a twist.

Heel n Toe · 11-01-2011, 10:01 PM

Hahahahahaha... excellent post... I'm totally with you, Patrick; I hit 60 in September and gray haired, bearded, and disheveled describes me perfectly.

Actually, I've been gray haired, bearded, and disheveled for a few years now. Feels great.

Sure, I can put on a coat and tie and pretend I wouldn't rather be somewhere else, but it's very rare.

I conspire beforehand with Mrs. Toe on what I'm gonna wear when we go out because she can wear jeans and she looks like she's going to host a cocktail party at the Waldorf. I want to at least make an effort so I don't look like some homeless guy she picked up somewhere.

epbrown · 11-01-2011, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottore

I'll be there in a few years, and get the point.

One of the great privileges of growing older is that you can be as eccentric as you want to be.

Kids are always worried about "fiitting in". Well fark that!

The thing is: all the younger people want to pierce their faces and tongues and whatever, tats everywhere, all in the name of doing what they please. Then they grow old and want to do what they please because dagnabbit, they're old. If they're poor, they should do what they want because they're struggling to get by. If they're rich, they should be able to do whatever they want because they're rich. If they're not dating, they should be allowed to look like crap because no one cares. If they're married, they can finally "let themselves go" because, hey, they're married and the pressures off.

This whole idea that everyone's been repressing themselves relentlessly is a sham. I'm sure a lot of the girls that new the OP when he was younger and on the make would be surprised and amused to discover that he's only now relaxing in his efforts to be charming and well-dressed. And yet, right now there's some 20-something that lives in t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers dreaming of the day he can relax and be comfortable.

LakeCleElum · 11-01-2011, 10:01 PM

Just turned 60....When you get there, you don't have any "Hero's" anymore.

Young, hot looking girls all just seem loud and self-centered.

Now that I can afford fine Whiskey and good food, I've lost my sense of smell and taste.

I've learned to go back to all those places I zipped thru on 1,000 mile day m/c trips and see the scenery.

I've had 5 good friends die this year, and most likely at least one more before the year is over.

I'm starting to pick up the pace a little on those "projects" I was gonna get to someday.

I'm taking my health more seriously that I ever have.

None of this will make sense to you until you're there!

Heel n Toe · 11-01-2011, 10:03 PM

Wow, three simultaneous posts.

livi · 11-01-2011, 11:50 PM

Looking forward to it actually. 15 years to go but in my mind I am already there.

on2wheels52 · on2wheels52's Garage

Just a few years and I'll be 60, but speak for yourself about not "assessing the attractiveness of women" you come across.
The line from my teenage years, 'we may be hurtin', but we ain't dying'.
Jim

Seahawk · 11-02-2011, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by on2wheels52

Just a few years and I'll be 60, but speak for yourself about not "assessing the attractiveness of women" you come across.
The line from my teenage years, 'we may be hurtin', but we ain't dying'.
Jim

I turned 56 today...I'll be exercising my "eyeball liberty" card until the curtain closes.

Shaun @ Tru6 · 11-02-2011, 06:02 AM

Great post, Happy Birthday Patrick, and I hope many more to come. From your posts, it seems you've achieved more than most in getting to 60, well done.

My change a year or two ago, now 43, is the Harvard frosh girls look more like children to me. Can't really ogle them anymore.

Shaun @ Tru6 · 11-02-2011, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seahawk

I turned 56 today...I'll be exercising my "eyeball liberty" card until the curtain closes.

Happy Birthday Paul, ditto what I said just above.

DaveE · 11-02-2011, 06:07 AM

I turned 56 Monday. I don't care so much what I look like anymore but I still look at them

targa911S · 11-02-2011, 06:18 AM

Happy birthday to both of you. I turn 61 this year. The attitude thing is very true. I really don't care what you think anymore. I have seen more in my rear view than you can see through your windshield. I hurt more now in more places than ever. The young girls just look through me anymore. That's OK. Who wants to deal with women who still have periods anyway. Women 20 years younger than me still try to pick me up, that's flattering but if you think I'm busting up a 30 marriage so I can put yer brat through college yer wrong. Other than the fact that I have more behind me than in front of me, I like being this old. I try not to think about death, but it IS unavoidable. I'll make the most of life while I can.

Rot 911 · 11-02-2011, 06:22 AM

I'm 56, 57 next June and I still appreciate an attractive woman and still care about how I look when I am out in public. Maybe because I still have to wear a suit to work most days.

Rikao4 · 11-02-2011, 07:02 AM

Happy Birthday to you both..

working on my mellow..
seems Homicide /Genocide is still frowned upon..

Rika

Dueller · 11-02-2011, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genrex

“Tanguerey, up, very dry, two olives”

Tangueray is my favorite. But in drink nomenclature, what does "up" mean?

I guess it means you're one up on me...

"Up" means no ice...as in straight up.

Gretch · 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LakeCleElum

Just turned 60....When you get there, you don't have any "Hero's" anymore.

Young, hot looking girls all just seem loud and self-centered.

Now that I can afford fine Whiskey I drink more of it!

I've learned to go back to all those places I zipped thru on m/c trips and see the scenery.

I've had 1 good friend die this year. THAT is something that never goes away

I'm starting to spend MORE time doing the things i ALWAYS wanted to do.

I'm taking my health more seriously that I ever have.

None of this will make sense to you until you're there!

Editing your list was easier than starting over.