Put old farts in the military instead of kids!

[sammyg2]

LOL, got this in an e-mail and I thought it was pretty funny:

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.
They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a few times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'
We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the heck.

Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food.
We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.
The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??
If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

[svandamme]

Fecking funny

[BlueSkyJaunte]

You should read Old Man's War by John Scalzi.

[GothingNC]

That was great !!

[dennis in se pa]

We're (us old guys) gonna die soon anyway. The kids have a long way to go. I have often thought similar thoughts as are expressed above.

[RWebb]

kids are better with video games, so make better drone operators

nonetheless...

[flatbutt]

I'd go in place of my kid in half a heart beat.

[Evans, Marv]

Seriously, I've often thought they should have some deals to employ older people. Not the heavy physical stuff, but think of all the knowledge, skills, and experience going to waste. They could take care of warehousing, equipment management, personnel, budgeting (they might even get a handle on those $600 wrenches, etc.), accounting, and lots more. There could be programs where 2 or 3 older people share a full time position. I think they could get another 5 or 10 years out of lots of retired folks and really get the tax payers' money worth out of them while letting those old farts make extra money. Also, it might give lots of people more diversity in life & chances to do some things they always wanted in some cases.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by RWebb

kids are better with video games, so make better drone operators

nonetheless...

My kid is better at all them new-fangled games, but I'm pretty good with Doom, Doom II, final Doom, heretic, and hexen.

16 bit OLD SKOOL RULES!

[David]

Originally Posted by RWebb

kids are better with video games, so make better drone operators

nonetheless...

The air base down the street from me, Ellington, has switched from F16's to drones (they don't actually have drones here) and the biggest change I've noticed besides it being quieter is the cars entering the base. Now it's corvettes, 4x4's, and other kids with a little income cars. Kind of funny.

[patssle]

Nothing like dropping a bomb on some 16 year old kid in Pakistan then roaring home in the Corvette!

[svandamme]

Originally Posted by BlueSkyJaunte

You should read Old Man's War by John Scalzi.

that is a good read

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by patssle

Nothing like dropping a bomb on some 16 year old kid in Pakistan then roaring home in the Corvette!

How old do they have to be to put on the vest and hit the boom button?
Bleeding hearts so often act upon emotion rather than logic.

[patssle]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

How old do they have to be to put on the vest and hit the boom button?
Bleeding hearts so often act upon emotion rather than logic.

I yield to the logic then. He's a brown Muslim, he must of been a terrorist. Those other 175 children killed by the CIA, they all are!

[FLYGEEZER]

I retired from the Air Force in 1999 after 30 years. I was thinkin' goin back to spare some younger person might be an OK thing. Something made me go into the backside of my closet and get my dress blues outta the garmet bag where it's been for 12+ years and (for the first time) try it on. The dark in the closet musta shrunk it. I can't begun to get into the uniform. The hat & shoes fit just fine. so .....on second thought, let some young person go do the deed. I'm out of shape.

[tharbert]

Originally Posted by patssle

I yield to the logic then. He's a brown Muslim, he must of been a terrorist. Those other 175 children killed by the CIA, they all are!

Don't get your panties in a wad there Pat. In the olden days, a few BUF's would have flown over and decimated the valley, men, women, children, goats, sheep and camels all gone. That had the added benefit of leaving no witnesses.

Edgar: I got out in 2001@20yrs. I can still fit all my clothes but have no desire to do so. There are enough of the old NCO's there to keep it all together.

[Schrup]

Sadly, I'm sure I'm in better shape than most 18 year olds. I already gave my 4 years & wouldn't be a very good follower at this point in my life. War is a young man's game. I've got too much to lose & too many people relying on me.

[gt350mike]

Originally Posted by Evans, Marv

Seriously, I've often thought they should have some deals to employ older people. Not the heavy physical stuff, but think of all the knowledge, skills, and experience going to waste. They could take care of warehousing, equipment management, personnel, budgeting (they might even get a handle on those $600 wrenches, etc.), accounting, and lots more.

Great idea that is actually already in play. The military and politicians figured out its extremely expensive for ground forces to be self-sufficient so they started "contracting" services out to contractors. The concept is called LOGCAP (Logistics Civil Augmentation Program). Instead of the military feeding themselves, setting-up/maintaining housing, transporting materials/supplies, and even securing their base, the requirements are contracted to civilians who are typically prior service or retires. Short-term its more expensive but over the long-term, the cost is significantly cheaper. I'm actually one of those "older" military guys who oversees the LOGCAP services contract to insure the customer (Soldiers/Sailors/Marines/Airmen) are receiving quality service and the Government is getting what they paid for. Back to the orginal post, I laugh because there is so much truth to the perception of what an 18 yr old kid is thinking....spot on!

[Jesset100]

Flygeezer, you might know my brother -in-law. I've got my army greens out and it shrank too
email sent

[944Larry]

Hell, I'm old and I've already been once. Wouldn't sending me back now be like being tried twice for the same crime.