Originally Posted by asphaltgambler (Post 6388442)

My mother developed alzheimers in her early 80's -Dad who was two years older had to deal with her and refused any help. Was true to her completely to her death, although the last year and a half she didn't recognize him and would throw tantrums (and other things) saying "this man" was holding her hostage - which to that end she even would call the police.

All the while all the local blue hair single 'church going' women and even one in her late 50's wanted some of him by trying to stake a claim. Towards my mom's life ending, his driveway looked like grand central station. To my knowledge, he was with and true to her to the awful end and it was many months after before he would start to 'entertain' company

What a man.

Originally Posted by svandamme (Post 6388533)

I know that in some situations families will, and in fact have accepted the facts for what they are, and even told the remaining partner that they are ok with it if he goes on with his life. If the situation is really that the partner is a plant, and is not going to recover, and the remaining partner did and still does everything humanly possible to take care of the other one...

Hell, i would not like the idea myself, that if i had somebody i loved.. and i turned into a cabbage head.. That the person i love, would be lonely for another 30-40 years.
I feel it would be selfish on my behalf to expect that of anybody.

Ideally i'de like em to pull the plug or actively euthanize me first, cause i hate the part of me laying there like a bag of bones for that time..
And the risk that some part of me remains.. well that's no risk.. if my mind is trapped in a shell.. i'de rather have em pull the plug then be trapped for decades..

Either way, it's not all black and white.. In certain situations it can be reasonable to move on. People cannot stay alone and in a state of perpetual grieving for decades.