Question for PPOT Braintrust, but this likely needs a woman's point of view

[Schumi]

Originally Posted by svandamme

set him up with a skank and document the procedings

boom we have a winner straight away....

[Gogar]

I'm not sure why any of you guys honestly think that:

a: Grosebeck Hurricane can come up with a 'skank' out of thin air who will help him set up the loser guy,

b. Even if by some magical confluence of good luck, mr. Hurricane sets up the loser boy with a skank or a stripper and can "document the misdeeds" like you speak,

that it will somehow bring his niece (or whatever) 'into the light' and she'll be like . . . . . "Thanks, uncle Grosebeck, you really showed me the way!!!!!"

That's ridiculous internet BBS fantasy.

Support her and share your experience, and cross your fingers. Throw a pillow under there when she falls on her ass. That's all you can do.

[Schumi]

Gogar... there are TV/Radio shows that you can contact and have them do this for you now!


No longer a BBS fantasy!

Quick, where is Ryan Seacrest!

[svandamme]

offcourse you gotta get a decent skank, it has to be one that is a skank, but can hide it on the surface.
And you will have to provide some sort of incentive to get her to do a good job and all..
Good skanks are hard to find, make no mistake..

It won't be easy to get good results, has to be planned carefully.

[porsche4life]

I hate to say it, but the course is in motion, he needs to crash and burn badly for her to see the error of her ways... The downward slide isn't over yet... I've seen it a few times with girls around here, and its a damned shame...

What I don't get, is how trash guys like this can get girls, when guys like me that come from good families, work hard, and are educated, never stand a chance...

[Jrboulder]

How about we just declare a PPOT Summary Judgment saying that a Porsche-owning group of strangers has decided on limited, impersonal, and single-sided information that we belive that her relationship with the loser is detrimental to her, her goals, and her life. If that doesn't work bring on the skank.

Jackson

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Thanks Guys!

A group of her friends got with her parents this week. Suggestions from here were taken out and provided to them.

A guy she dated a few times who IS her age is going to have a conversation with her this week, in person. They remained friends after going out a few times so this was considered by the group (I was not included ;-) as the best way to start dismantling.

Apparently, also, this guy spent a bit of time with boyfriend/love of life and developed a deep seated hatred of the boyfriend/love of life. Called him lazy, good for nothing, and questioned his intelligence. I was told I was too kind...

I might post more of the pending train wreck later, especially if we can change tracks and avoid!

[foxpaws]

Advice from a woman....

Let her go.

She will make terrible decisions, she will make amazingly good decisions, but they need to be her decisions.

And having her ex boyfriend - who hates the guy she is currently with come in and 'talk some sense into her' - what sort of solution is that - a Jerry Springer type solution? I can't tell you how bad that is.

Again, let her go. It is the hardest thing in the world to do (I am a parent of a college aged daughter, I know). You have done what you can - hope that what you and others have given her growing up (a sense of 'self', a knowing of her real 'worth', and an understanding of how to achieve her dreams for the future) will guide her through good times, and what you perceive as impending bad times.

Really - let her go. Love her without bounds, love her without 'strings', love her no matter what, and never, ever 'conditionalize' that love. And make sure she knows that you will always be there for her, without judgment. She will never reach out to you if she thinks she is going to get 'I told you so.'

Do the right thing, albeit the hardest thing you can, let her go.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Foxy!

Yep, I was not included in the reparte' so my opinion did not count. I'm trying to be hands off but having been down this road myself it is soooooo hard to do!

I always found it interesting that she kept in touch with this boy. He is GOOD LOOKING, smart, and driven! He learned to weld at an early age and is very good at working with his hands. He is running a small business and doing well for himself. Other than having the maturity of a male his age (we ALL remember that issue ;-) I THINK, in my mind, she still has some feelings for this guy based on the way she talks about him.

Anyway, it is all out of my hands and I have backed off. It is just SO HARD to remain seperate. It helps to vent on this forum and have people shove down my throat that which I already know in my heart.

Stay out of it, repeat to self 20 times, follow through, repeat.....

Thank you!

[cstreit]

If you "FIX" it, she will learn nothing.

...if you break them up before SHE realizes the relationship is bad, she will blame you, forever.

Unfortunately you HAVE to let people suffer the consequences of their bad decisions for them to benefit and learn.

My best advice, you say "I love you. I think you are making a mistake because this boy is freeloading off you, seems to be untrustworthy, and I believe he is holding you back. However I will support you no matter what."

Any more than that (like a 15 minute diatribe of justification on why the guy is a loser) will not have a positive outcome.

[notmytarga]

I think that this is a realistic explaination:

Originally Posted by MRM

To put it obtusely, I mean bluntly, she may believe that she will go to Hell for having sex with Bad Boy if she doesn’t marry him.

Is this serious?? Sounds like a great service...

Originally Posted by MRM

If that fails, I have connections to a convent in a remote part of Spain. For the smallest contribution they are willing to transport and house young women who don't realize they need to be spirited away for their own good. They are repatriated some time later when the danger has passed. I'd be happy to pass along their number.