I'm a butt head.

Everybody has failings, flaws and limitations. If we didn't we all would be God and that just wouldn't do. People generally get into trouble when they try and exceed those limtaions. That is not to say the goal posts are not moved down field. There is an element of patience in there. Think of it as a Community Organizer suddenly becoming President. So a mans got to know hs limitations. One thinks everything in its own good time.

The idea is to get to the point where you understand your limitation and then you can move on down the road till you hit another one...Repeat. At some point one realizes that one is perfect in their imperfections..or perfectly imperfect.

Stand in line....

Well, I'm human. Make all kinds of mistakes. The ones I made the second time are the ones that bother me. Supposed to learn and not do it again.

I hold people to too high of a standard. I don't know where it comes from, but I wish I could relax a bit on my expectations. When things break, I throw them away and could care less, but I always expect people to give their best. Obviously, I am often disappointed, but I do try to surround myself with people who do their best to excel at whatever it is they do. I guess I'm not a 2nd place kind of guy, although without a doubt, I don't even meet my own personal expectations.

Neatness challenged. I can clean the house for 4 hours and it still looks unkempt. My So can come in and in 10 minutes it's ready for a photo shoot. I can not figure it out. :confused:

I feekin' hate being interrupted mid task, and I don't like to multitask. I think it is just the nature of my work. I like to get focused on one task and give it 110% from start to finish. I find if I get pulled in too many directions at once, I get incredibly frustrated and my performance starts to suffer . See this thread http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/644063-i-lost-my-temper-customer-today.html.

Turn the key to the on position.

Ok, it's on.

No it's not. Turn it one more click. That's it, good. Now turn it off.

OK, turn the key to the on postion again.

Ok, it's on, but nothing's happening.

Turn it one more click!!!!!! Yes, thank you, geez

silence

You don't have to yell at me.

silence

Apparently I lack patience.

Me too, but I was saving that for the "Greatest Accomplishment" thread.

I am way to forgiving. Way to patient.

Sometimes i need to put my foot down and be a d*ck. Thats with an i not a u.

I see deficiencies in others but not in myself.

I can have difficulty expressing love, tenderness, and empathy.

I can be harsh, demanding, unforgiving, impatient, and insistent.

I can have difficulty distinguishing between certainty, confidence, conviction, courage, and . . . being wrong.

I'm a perfectionist with a lack of patience for those that arent. I just can't understand how anybody under takes any task and doesnt want the end result to be perfect.

I also have absolute disdain for people who manipulate and tend to target them. But maybe that's not a short coming?

don't forget to sign up for the drum circle at 2PM and at 4, we have a special guest lecture on "Uncovering & Releasing Barriers to Man's Authentic Nature."

"Stoicism is for Pussies, Mama's Here for You Baby" has been canceled.


oh, I'm kind of a jerk.

+1

That I can't admit it.

My father died this summer. He was a COPD patient and the end days for a person in that condition can be pretty rough. Near the end, he spent two weeks in ICU with daily attacks that are like watching a person drown on dry ground. He was terrified with each one. His would flail, he begged for help, and cried in horror. My father was afraid of what comes after dying. Not just the standard concern over the unknown, but a deep seated fear that there was nothing or nothing good for him on the other side.

He asked me to be with him when he died. We had several conversations about this. He was amazed that I am not afraid of what comes next. He thought that maybe if I was there, it would be OK...

Dad came home (to the parent's house) for hospice care. Made it about a week. I went over to their houes (about 45 minutes away) every day in the afternoons. As is often the case with terminally ill people, they die on a day that seemed no better or worse than the day before. I had gotten a phone call from my boss, spent 30 plus minutes getting my butt chewed for something that I did properly (but none of emails got read - etc). I was just furious. Figured I needed to take a long walk before I went over to the parents house.

While I did that, my father died. While I was walking around trying to get a grip on something as ridiculous as a clueless boss, my father died without me. Without me to hold him when he crossed over, to remind him that his Mom and brother were already there, to remind him that good men like him have nothing to fear on the otherside.

He was afraid and I was not there like I promised. That is an epic failure that can never be righted.

angela

You mustn't beat up on yourself about this Angela. This is not a fail on your part—just timing that didn't work out.

The same thing happened to me. I sat at my fathers death bed for weeks. One night when he was sleeping peacefully I snuck out to see a film—and when I came back he had died.

Besides, one thing I have learnt is that no matter how many people there are at your bedside—you always die completely alone. No sense kidding ourselves about this. There is nothing you could have said or done in the end that would have made his passing any easier.

Your story is a sad one but it's not your fault, you did everything and more than your Dad would have wanted. You cared when it made a difference and I'm certain your Dad was fine in his final hours.

Have you ever read about the five stages of grief? You have experienced grief in the passing of your father but your father also experienced grief in the fact that he was dying and leaving you. The last of the five stages is acceptance. Perhaps your father accepted it in the end and you now have to stop beating yourself up and accept that fact as well. I'm sure your Dad would want that for you.

My Dad died 20 years ago and while I spent a lot of time with him in the last days, I was not there either when he finally died. I asked myself the same questions and wondered why I had not been a better son. I came to realize he did not want me to feel that guilt. It took some time for me to come to that realization.

Perfectly perfect. Got to love that. Solves everything.

It's not paying my bills though.

This, It takes time to gather, is allways good to share. Wisdom! Thanks Widgeon

Cheers Richard

I read your post a number of times since, like many here, it brought back difficult memories from my own life.

My Mother died in 1990 from a rather brief bout with cancer. I spent a lot of time in South Carolina the weeks prior to her passing. Unfortunately, I was to deploy to the desert and needed to be a Maryland to take care of pre-deployment quals, flight certs, etc.

I returned to Maryland.

Two days after I got back, my Father called and told me to get home. This was at 11pm.

The first flight out was at 0700 and I was on it. As I walked off the plane I saw my Father. A stronger, better man I don't know. He was in tears, so there it was.

We cried all the way home. But he told me not to worry, that Arden knew I was there for her, that she loved me as a son and as a man.

I suspect that your father felt the exact same way. Please let it go. I have.

Lots of wisdom here...

You DID NOT GET IT RIGHT.."perfectly IMperfect." is what I said.

Now we know your FAILING...you never get it RIGHT.

Not taking car of my body the way I should...carrying 50 extra pounds....

My biggest professional failure...................pursuing my passion into the auto business as a career too long, actually believing in progress /evolution that should have occoured.

procrastination and for some reason you can put me in a Hart, Schaffner and Marks and I'll just look like a redneck in a 3-piece.:o

It doesn't work.

Must be an open in the motor/fuse/gas/electronic whatchamacallit.

Oh great.
Another hour on the phone with tech only to talk with some peasant grandmother in another country with a heavy accent who responds with the wrong answers to the correct question. Then, I have to try and find a wiring diagram on the internet. Mabye check google archives just in case the company folded years ago. Do I have all the tools needed here? I probably left those wire cutter across town, and now it's thursday rush hour traffic.

"Is it plugged in?"

No.
It is not plugged in.

I am a terrible listener and speller.

True, I messed that up. I caught the concept, though. There is one thing I get right 99.9% of the time. I don't say "your" when the sentence calls for a subject and a verb such as "you are" rather than a possessive pronoun.

I dock 20 point off anyone's thought to be IQ when they get that wrong.



And there is my failure. Spending any time thinking about other's weak use of language. So, tabs, you are (or you're), perfectly imperfect.

Oh wait, there's one more: I really have a problem with non sequitur whether it be me or another. And that's just from the logical perspective. Don't you just love it when people don't completely read the question before giving an answer?

As flawed as I may be, the Internet has done more for my self esteem than any other thing in my life. I guess that's why I go online every day. I can get up out of my chair knowing I'm not as fvked up as the people I have just read.

I am sorry to hear of your Dad's passing, Angela. If it was posted before I had missed it.

I won't tell you not to worry about this because you will.
I won't tell you that it was or wasn't your fault because you know that it wasn't.
I can tell you that from your posts from your Dad's car overhaul thread that he knew that he was the luckiest dad in the world to have a daughter like you.

Please accept my belated condolences.

To Angela, Paul and Mark, please do not feel bad about that one. Unless you stand sentry 24/7 w/o bathroom breaks, it's pretty hard to time someone's passing and be there at the moment. It sounds like all 3 of you made every effort possible to be there for your parents in the end and in fact you were, just not at the moment they crossed over.

My parents are pretty old and have their health problems. I live thousands of miles from them and the likelihood is that I will not be with them when they die. Or them with me, if I leave unexpectedly. The important thing is how you treat your family members while they are alive and all 3 of you were unqualified successes in my book.

Now U know my biggest flaw. I am far more concerned with getting the idea or thought down, than the correct grammar or spelling.

Even with those 20 IQ points deducted I am still a genius.

I, like Tabs, suffer from excessive modesty....

D.

...excessively modest genius.

Angela, best to you - a heartfelt story for sure but you have to realize that the world doesn't come to a standstill just to accommodate one person's needs. Every single person on this board could get struck down simultaneously tomorrow and the world wouldn't even blink. It wouldn't even be a blip. We're ultimately that insignificant in the grand scheme. That said, we ARE significant to one another in a personal way. You were significant to your father and he undoubtedly felt you felt the same way to him, regardless of whether or not you happened to be there when the end came.

I suspect he passed on in peace and certainly without any resentment to you. Life goes on. The world goes on - regardless of what any of us do or don't, or can't. The best way to "be there" for him is to be true to his memory and not forget him. Honor him.

It's not your fault and I'm sure that somehow he knows it.

Peace.

Obsessive and over-achiever - mostly to keep myself busy so I don't have to really *be* in the moment. Too painful. Also trying to get affirmation and fill in a big self-created hole. Well, mom helped...

Biggest fault? I'm way too insecure, always looking inward concentrating on what is wrong with me and looking for excuses instead of just living life and moving forward.
Either that or I'm just too nice and polite and easy-going.

Sum-body had to say it.

I put off important long-term things in order to deal with "emergencies" now. Upon closer scrutiny, a lot of times the "emergencies" have been self created and pretty much self-sabotage. Hard habit to break, but with a lot of work and focus I'm starting to catch myself.

also, I'm becoming a workaholic

also, I don't take care of my health

Has anyone ever tried to write the dialog in a movie down while watching that movie. Tough Huh? Well that is about the rate of speed that I think. My poor fingers just can not keep up.

Further if the only thing one can criticize one over is ones spelling and grammar then that person is not in the same league as the person they are criticizing. As all they can attack is the person and not the idea.