The friend zone - it sucks sometimes

AFC-911 · 10-05-2010, 07:56 AM

3 years ago, I met two girls. I decided to date one and the other became one of my best friends. I eventually broke up with the one I was dating. My best friend, however, began dating another guy. I was ok with that.

7 months ago, I left town for a job. I told my best friend that I liked her, but of course, nothing happened since I left. What sucks is that I never got a definite "no" or a definite "yes" or even a "maybe."

I get back 2 months ago & she's dating someone new...And it's eating at me.

I know it's possible to end up dating your best friend, as I've done it before. I could also break them up (I'm actually quite good at that), but I don't really feel like doing that these days...

She is an awesome best friend, but I really don't want to be in the same room as her new guy. I'm sure he might be alright, but I hate him based on principle.

I always get my yes, but I guess I won't this time around...Time to call it quits?

Rot 911 · 10-05-2010, 08:04 AM

Doesn't sound like she feels the same way or she would have given you some signals.

Rikao4 · 10-05-2010, 08:04 AM

a good friend is rare..
unless she's 'the one' material..
leave her be..
she would be sending signals..
she's not..

Rika

Moses · 10-05-2010, 08:08 AM

You're on the wrong ladder. Can't be fixed.

The Ladder Theory

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

I feel your pain man... One of the girls I study with is that way... I've made myself fairly clear and it goes mostly ignored. I've learned to just put it to the side and enjoy the time we are together. I've started pursuing other interests.

Maybe its the whole wanting what you can't have thing?

Moses · 10-05-2010, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porsche4life

I feel your pain man... One of the girls I study with is that way... I've made myself fairly clear and it goes mostly ignored.

Women can sense two things like a shark smells blood in the water; desperation and indifference. Desperation is a powerful repellent, but indifference drives them crazy.

AFC-911 · 10-05-2010, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moses

You're on the wrong ladder. Can't be fixed.

Yes, I'm on the wrong ladder. But it can be fixed (I've got pictures to prove it! Not that I'll post them on the internet).

I always get my yes until now anyway...

Quote:

Originally Posted by porsche4life

Maybe its the whole wanting what you can't have thing?

I've done that in the past. Not the case this time...

M.D. Holloway · 10-05-2010, 09:16 AM

A man can not be friends with a women if she is hot - he will always desire her regardless (a sub-axiom of the human condition).

TechnoViking · TechnoViking's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moses

Women can sense two things like a shark smells blood in the water; desperation and indifference. Desperation is a powerful repellent, but indifference drives them crazy.

Wiser words have not been spoken.

Laneco · 10-05-2010, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moses

Women can sense two things like a shark smells blood in the water; desperation and indifference. Desperation is a powerful repellent, but indifference drives them crazy.

Moses speaks the truth. Also, if you act desperate, the other guy will think your a pussy AND you won't get the girl. So you're just the pussy who doesn't get the girl. With indifference, you at least walk out with respect and personal dignity.

anglea

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

$Moses++;

AFC-911 · 10-05-2010, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laneco

Moses speaks the truth. Also, if you act desperate, the other guy will think your a pussy AND you won't get the girl. So you're just the pussy who doesn't get the girl. With indifference, you at least walk out with respect and personal dignity.

Let's be honest, who gives a crap about the other guy?

Rikao4 · 10-05-2010, 10:25 AM

well how about you..
do you really care about her & the friendship..
or just another notch...

Rika

Brando · Brando's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by widebody911

$Moses++;

And $Moses++; again.

If there was a friend I wanted, that's how I played it. Worked out great every time, sad to say, even if they had a boyfriend at the time.

Oh, and the ladder system isn't 100% to every woman. Some of us have gone from one, to the other, back and forth again. And it's missing the more worthwhile 3rd ladder, friends + benefits.

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

You didn't read the whole thing did you? Friends+benefits is dealt with as well.

slakjaw · 10-05-2010, 10:35 AM

Sometimes, friends ****. remember that

sammyg2 · 10-05-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Let's be honest, who gives a crap about the other guy?

When you look in the mirror, do you want to see a selfish POS who will screw over anyone else to get what he wants, or do you want to see someone you can respect?

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFC-911

I always get my yes

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Let's be honest, who gives a crap about the other guy?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFC-911

I could also break them up (I'm actually quite good at that)

Maybe this is why she isn't interested...

AFC-911 · 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nostatic

Maybe this is why she isn't interested...

Ouch, I guess one could assume that, although I haven't broken anybody up in 8 years. She didn't know me back when I did those things.

Believe me, I've thought about it reverting back to doing those things...That said, I do have a conscience these days.

Yes, I don't care for the new guy. The one before, I can stomach being in the same room in. But the current guy...Not so much.

And yes, I can turn "nos" into a "yes," it's just a question of how much longer I want to keep trying...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikao4

well how about you..
do you really care about her & the friendship..
or just another notch...

If I wanted just another notch, I would have moved on long ago and saved myself a headache.

Quote:

Originally Posted by slakjaw

Sometimes, friends ****. remember that

Been there, done that. Not the road I want to follow again anytime soon...

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyg2

When you look in the mirror, do you want to see a selfish POS who will screw over anyone else to get what he wants, or do you want to see someone you can respect?

Both. I always try not to screw over someone else IF I can.

You don't think I've felt bad for what I've done in the past? I do, but at the same token, I try to live without regrets.

s_morrison57 · 10-05-2010, 01:03 PM

Its a big world out there, I'd say move on before it looks like your stalking. Maybe your ex-girlfriend told her about your small penis and thats why she's staying away.