I think you just did. Sorry for you loss Vinny, maybe, just maybe, you're giving those kids something to hang on to...simply tragic imo :(.

Good call. There's no harm in giving him the honor guard. Funerals have little to do with the deceased. The guys in your department need to care more about his kids than themselves and their anger.

Vinny knows much about me...
so I'm laying some more out here..
I was burnt more than your mothers toast..
I so wanted to die..
there is pain..
and then your whole being on fire..
folks ..you have NO IDEA..
and I am gratefull you don't...
I don't know his reasons or pain
all one /you can do now is honor his time & service..
folks..
I still remember the smell & the why..
so unless you've been there..
easy with your judgement...
because like Vinnie's friend ...
you can feel alone in a big crowd & amongst your best friends..

Rika

Yes. Full fire fighter's honors, unless there is some rule prohibiting. Funerals are for family.

Yes, that time of year, I just got the word that one of the girls who works for us Brother took his life on Christmas day and Rika is correct about feeling alone.
Vinny, thanks stepping up, as Supe said, it is really for the kids...

For the children, yes.

The below is humbling; a moment of confession and clarity rarely found.

I value your perspective more than you know, Rika.

Vinnie, let your men read the words of a man.

+1

Rika and Vinny...2 of the few that I'd really like to meet.

no anwer from me. I just want to say that it's it terible for his wife and kids. It is a big permanent damage, so anything you can do to help their feeling would be the good thing.

I have met Vinny,, he truly a Man among Men and one I look forward to hanging out with again....

No.

Full service funerals are for those who die in the line of duty.

I had a coworker/friend who shot himself several years ago. It had nothing to do with work, it was due to his lousy wife decided she loved someone else.

Several department personnel were there in uniform but it was not the full shut down every street, fly over, honor guard police funeral.

Well put.

Serious Question. Where do you draw the line? If I get killed while riding my motorcycle off duty, should I get a full Police funeral for the 20+ years of honorable service I've done. what if I slip in the tub....people already complain about where their tax dollars are going....

Personally, I've been to way to many funerals where cops (some my friends) were shot and killed in the line of duty. It's horrible. But we honor them for the ultimate sacrifice they made. When I die, if its off duty, I will not belittle the honor those men earned in blood by getting a full police funeral. YMMV.

You draw the line with you. All of your examples are about you. Nobody cares about you in terms of a funeral.

We care about the kids.

Line drawn.

There can and should be a nice service for the kids that is respectful. but you didn't answer the question.

Let me add, if his suicide was in any way job related, different story.

I can think of a whole lot of families that then deserve a big parade for their lost loved ones.

When everyone 'wins an award' /special honors, those honors are not so special anymore.

side note; it is Soooo easy to say "give them something special" ...even if they are/were not. I mean, it's other people's time and money that you're giving to the "needy." btw, everyone deals with death, so try to be appropriate.
That is, if the guys in the unit really want to put on a big show for the guy, then great. But not everyone on this planet deserves a parade for dying. ...or for dying as a mentally ill firefighter.

Hey, who was the postman who went postal? -Did he get a parade? I mean, clearly he had a tough job there.

Dying in line of service: yes

Dying by accident outside the job: no

Committing suicide with no children: no

Committing suicide with adult children: no

Committing suicide with young children: yes

Shaun, that is a pretty good point. (for the children) --seriously.

But what if the children know that dad did himself in? ...that dad chose to LEAVE his children?

Do you still pretend that dad was oh-so honorable because he was a cop/firefighter/postman... ?

the children will know their dad did himself in.

The honor guard is part of the healing process for the kids. an important one.