Need an outsiders opinion on something...

VINMAN · 12-26-2011, 08:31 AM

Looking for some insight and an opinion from you guys (and gals).

One of the guys in my firehouse decided to off himself on Christmas eve. Hung himself in his home. Left behind 4 young kids. Dont want to get into any other details sourrounding his circumstances.

Heres the dilemma.. Family wants full firefighters services. Trucks, honor guard etc... Question is, do you feel services like that justified??

Jim Bremner · 12-26-2011, 08:35 AM

Yes, Mental illness.

I have known a guy to do it but no kids thank GOD!

Prayers sent for the family.

shadowjack1 · shadowjack1's Garage

Yes I do. THe man had troubles and so will his children as a result of the death. Having a full firefighters may in some small way help them out. Now more then ever they need "your" family in the mix. My 2 cents.

GH85Carrera · GH85Carrera's Garage

Do they do the firefighters service for someone who dies off the job ? If he had dropped dead from a heart attack or died in a car crash would he get the full service?

If it is normally reserved only for those that die in the line of duty only then no. If it is common for any death of a fireman then yes.

DonDavis · DonDavis's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Bremner

Yes, Mental illness.

^^^ this.

Suicide has touched my life too many times. He was experiencing something very difficult to understand. My thoughts and prayers to him and his family. Truly dark and troubled roads ahead lie ahead for them. I hope they get past them quickly and safely.

Hard-Deck · 12-26-2011, 08:49 AM

Funerals are for those left living, not for the dead IMHO, so....yes, full honors....it will help family cope.

Laneco · 12-26-2011, 08:53 AM

Bingo (above).

It is the family that deserves the full services.

angela

Rot 911 · 12-26-2011, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowjack1

Yes I do. THe man had troubles and so will his children as a result of the death. Having a full firefighters may in some small way help them out. Now more then ever they need "your" family in the mix. My 2 cents.

Couldn't have said it any better than this!

Schrup · Schrup's Garage

Yes, he committed no crime. I would say the family determines ultimately, but I understand all the ducks must be in a row before offering. My condolences, what a tragedy.

vash · vash's Garage

damn. jacked up Christmas forever for those kids.

the full red carpet treatment would be for the living.

VINMAN · 12-26-2011, 09:14 AM

The issues really isnt the firefighters service. The main issue is with the honor guard. A lot of the guys are against it, because they feel he selfishly destroyed his childrens lives. Which is not an "honorable thing to do.

azasadny · azasadny's Garage

Yes, the family deserves it. They didn't choose the way he would die...

Schrup · Schrup's Garage

Tough situation, I found this for what it's worth.
Types of Law Enforcement Funerals | Funeralwise

wreckersteve · 12-26-2011, 09:22 AM

By not doing it, you will be turning your back on the family. They need to know you are there for them. I am sure he did many honorable things that deserve the honor.

speeder · 12-26-2011, 09:23 AM

I feel for someone in that much psychic pain but just can never understand why they would do it in such a way as to cause maximum pain to the survivors. Sometimes suicide is an extremely angry act directed at others. Yes, I've given the subject considerable thought. My best friend's little brother hung himself in the family home @ age 19. Completely destroyed his family forever. Major lasting damage.

I actually see the dilemma. I would have a hell of a time giving him the same honors reserved for heros, etc...

speeder · 12-26-2011, 09:24 AM

Really like your new avatar, Vinny!

mikester · 12-26-2011, 09:27 AM

+2 on the mental illness. Folks of sound mind do not take their own lives like that. He needed help and didn't get it.

It's pretty awful when this happens. Take care of your people folks.

Gogar · 12-26-2011, 09:29 AM

That's awful, and I'm very sorry for the family.

I must admit my first reaction was that a full-on honor guard funeral should be left for the guys who gave their life on the job.

But, if you feel that the big service and honor guard will benefit those kids mentally, then do it for the kids, not the dead guy.

foxpaws · foxpaws's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by VINMAN

The issues really isnt the firefighters service. The main issue is with the honor guard. A lot of the guys are against it, because they feel he selfishly destroyed his childrens lives. Which is not an "honorable thing to do.

Are the guys that are against it doing the 'honorable' thing by denying the honor guard portion of the service? As said before the service is for those left behind - and maybe the judgments of 'selfishness' and 'destroyed' should be put aside, and the firemen should instead focus on helping start a new future for the family he left behind.

Don't be so quick to judge - you will never know his side of the story, or be able to feel his pain.

svandamme · svandamme's Garage

His suicide did not take anything away from the service he provided as a firefighter did it?
He did fight fire and saved people in the past, it's not like he killed himself by setting fire to a building and taking other people with him, did he?

Then why this confusion? Is the Firefighting honors a Catholic sacrament i didn't know off?