Weak women vs strong women

[Dottore]

Joni Mitchell wrote the classic line:

You don't like weak women - you get bored too quick;
And you don't like strong women 'cause they're hip to your tricks...

This could have been written for one of my closest friends.

55 and about to marry for the fifth time, he's been bouncing from weak women to strong women and back to weak women all his life. Never found a middle ground. This time he's found a gorgeous and compliant Filipina 25 years his junior. He swears this is for ever. I give it six months tops. In fact this is the first time I'm not prepared to fly half way round the world for his wedding. Sad really.

Any of you guys seen anything similar?

[wdfifteen]

How do you define weak vs strong?
Every women I've ever met wants things her way. Some of them are direct about it - I'd call them strong. Some of them used equivocation and outright lies to get what they want - I call them weak. The weak ones don't last long around here.

[Baz]

The best ones are the ones who have enough confidence they don't have to prove anything....I guess they are mentally stronger in that sense.

Easier just to stay single unless the 'right one" comes along. They are very rare indeed - in the meantime I remain free and content to play the field

[island911]

ah Dot, the nuance of words... . . and lazy people

Strong? ...like an ox? ...Smart? ...confident? ...demanding? ...smelling?

[recycled sixtie]

There is no perfect woman. Some are more perfect than others. The way I see it is a woman's drive(most anyway) is to reproduce and have children. The woman's focus goes from the husband to the first child. Once the child(ren) move out, the focus goes back onto the man(not necessarily sexually!?!). The woman then tries to get the (hers?) financial situation in good order in case the man dies first which is usually the case. The widow has a few years of "vacation" from her husband but he will be missed for some purposes.
Weak or strong women basically have the same drive. No I would not bother to go to your friend's wedding. 50/50. That is my theory but I still consider my wife my best friend. Consider myself lucky!

[Superman]

And then there's the sweet, compliant, submissive women who want to get married so they'll have somebody to fight with daily. Reminds me of a Beatles' song.

"I.......shoulda known better......."

[RANDY P]

Plenty of women out there figure loud=strong. Someone needs to teach them smart=strong.

rjp

[Superman]

I married a woman who was not that smart, but made up for it by being combative. Philipina/Spanish. We had two BEAUTFIUL daughters, BTW.

Anyway, I eventually realized that men don't want to be opposed overtly, but we do want to be manipulated. A smart woman knows how to do this. She can get us to do her bidding, and flatter us at the same time. We love that schit. Even when we know we are being played.

[Evans, Marv]

Your friends situation is the same as mine but with differences. I married my Filipina wife, 25 years younger than me when I was 55. That was 15 years ago and after I'd been unmarried for 13 years & didn't figure on getting married again. I'd known her for 12 years at that time on a friendly basis. I'd desribe her as intelligent, confident, industrious, hard working, focused like a lasor on anything she wants to accomplish, and not compliant. I wouldn't trade her for anything, and we get along better than I could ever imagine and certainly far better than with my former wife & girl friends during my single years. I wish your friend luck, but I wouldn't fly to his wedding if this is the 5th time for him. In fact, if it's his fifth time, I would have to say the other 4 marrieage "failures" aren't necessarily the fault of his X's whether they were strong or weak personalities.

[Crowbob]

Weak vs strong women?

One needs to comprehend the nuances of 'weakness' and 'strength' to make sense of any woman.

[varmint]

"love is the delusion at one woman differs from others."
h. l. mencken

mostly i've found that "strong woman" is a polite way of saying "nagging *****". most guys are fine with an intelligent, adventurous commanding prime minister of england type of woman as long as she is not a nag.

[Seahawk]

Marrying for the fifth time means he has a problem with himself, not women.

I wouldn't have flown in for the fourth.

I was raised by an incredibly strong, very smart woman, have strong women as sisters, married a strong, very smart woman, then raised one.

You know them or you don't.

Strong women are equals, nothing more, certainly not less.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Marrying for the fifth time means he has a problem with himself, not women.

I wouldn't have flown in for the fourth.

Yeah, this. ^^^

I've never understood people who are addicted to getting married but there are plenty of them around. It sounds like this guy has descended into mail-order brides, that's the last throes of the disease.

I'm the exact opposite...had the opportunity to marry a couple of exceptional women but balked. Never married and only 3 years younger than your friend.

[AFC-911]

Filipina women just want green cards...They can be very manipulative.

(I can say this. I came from that country)

I personally want nothing to do with Asian women.

[aigel]

Why not go to the wedding? He is your friend, even if he has issues with relationships!

What I don't get is the need to get married. Unless you plan on starting a family, there is no upside. I'd hope he hasn't planned a family now, has he?

G

[JavaBrewer]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Marrying for the fifth time means he has a problem with himself, not women.

I wouldn't have flown in for the fourth.

+1. I am confused why anyone would want to re-marry after the second or third failed marriage. I am turning 50 this year and married for almost 20 years. If my marriage somehow fails down the road I am 99% sure I would not remarry at this late stage. Companionship would be the goal.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by JavaBrewer

+1. I am confused why anyone would want to re-marry after the second or third failed marriage. I am turning 50 this year and married for almost 20 years. If my marriage somehow fails down the road I am 99% sure I would not remarry at this late stage. Companionship would be the goal.

I get what you are saying David and agree.

But IMO the difference between yourself and this poor guy is you have enjoyed a successful marriage and he has not - and thus will always be unsatisfied with his marital situation.

I see this all the time - people often get married as a kind of crutch - an awful situation to find yourself in on either end....IMO.

[tweezers74]

How about hearing from a woman?

I think there were times in my life where I was strong and other times where I was weak. As I get older, I am getting more comfortable in my strong skin. I agree with Seahawk to a certain extent. A woman is strong when she learns to be strong. Through her upbringing and her experiences. But what is your definition of strong? I think this differs for different people. Some people may define a strong woman as one who stays in horrible marriage and "prevails" by being strong for her kids. But is that strong? Others would define the strong woman as the one who leaves her spouse in that same situation. Facing the unknown for the good of herself and the kids. Everybody has their own definition. And each woman in the example is strong in her own right.

And there is different kinds of strong. I see women putting up with a lot more from their spouses than I would. They are definitely stronger than me. But then they say they would never be "strong" enough to go out there alone and support themselves financially, like I do. Just as beauty, strong lies in the eye of the beholder.

As far as the marriage thing, I agree with Baz to a certain extent. Everybody wants love. Some people really suck at finding the right person for them. And I agree that it says something about your friend. Not that he is a bad person or that this marriage or any other marriage of his won't last. He just needs to figure out the common denominator in the last several marriages and try a differrent way. Which is what he is doing. Can't fault for somebody for wanting to find true love. I have to admire his unrelenting faith in love. That's pretty strong to face possible heartbreak for the fifth time in hopes in finding his true love. Is he stronger than the other man who won't lay his heart out there in fear of breaking it again? Again, eye of the beholder. I know some men who would rather stay alone just because they fear of gettting hurt again. Are they cowardly or are they strong? To each their own.

All I can say is that I support anything that makes a person happy. Even if it is a short time and doesn't hurt other people in the process. If your friend and his to be bride are happy, why contemplate the time of their happiness? I think people forget to enjoy the moment. Life happens in a blink of an eye. Don't spend it worrying about when that happiness is going to be taken away. He is willing to lay his heart on the table again and doesn't seem swayed by the complexities of divorce, so let him have the chance for the real thing. If they don't have the support of the ones they love, how can you say that you didn't have a role in the possible demise of their relationship? Kind of calling the kettle black, you know? Embrace, celebrate, be happy for your friend.

[Cajundaddy]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Marrying for the fifth time means he has a problem with himself, not women.

+1
Let's see, what is the common denominator in the last 4?? Hint: It's not the women. Maybe before walking down the aisle on #5, he might want to consider a little forgive and forget process for the woman who made him crazy as a child.

[Dottore]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Strong women are equals, nothing more, certainly not less.

And they're "hip to your tricks". That's a problem for some guys. But I agree, like you I have always preferred strong women.