Issue at Work

[legion]

Where to begin?

For the past two years, I've had problems with a coworker.

The first incidence occured when I was assigned to convince another team to use our technology. It wasn't the best fit, but the business side wanted it. I knew the other team wasn't overly enthused, so I laid out the best logical argument I could muster. I scheduled a series of meetings where in each I focused on explaining and getting buy-in on one aspect of my argument. The coworker in question was assigned to be my backup. After the first meeting he basically decided he hated the other team's lead and started projecting problems onto him. He decided that this other team had it out for us and wanted to develop a competing technology. (The did not and they don't have the time or the budget to entertain such ideas.) He would loudly complain about the team lead at every opportunity and call him names in meetings. He'd bring up the guy to bash just to bash him, and if someone else mentioned a problem they were having he'd start in with: "At least your problem isn't as bad as..."

During the third meeting he started screaming at the other team's lead accusing him of the things he was projecting onto him. I simply stopped inviting him to meetings after that as he proved to be a hindrance rather than a help. The damage was done, and I ended up not making the "sale" as it were.

Now, the coworker in question is a consumate brown-noser and a member of a "protected" group. As such, I didn't mention this to my manager. I could see him turning the tables on me. Besides, I could handle it, right?

Three months after that incident I was riding back from a sushi lunch with some members of my team. He asked me a question about my 951 (which I still had at that point in time). I started to respond and he cut me off, screaming: "No one wants to hear about your f***ing car, Chris!" Wow. He'd just asked me the question purely as a setup to attack me. I was livid, but I still didn't say anything. From that point I pretty much avoided this guy as much as I could, which could be hard as he sits right by me and is on the same team.

I'm pretty sure I'm the person he now obsesses about hating and bashes whenever I'm not around.

There have been other incidents over the years. He whines and complains loudly about all the things that "offend" him, yet holds court at his desk loudly proclaiming things I find rather offensive.

His latest thing is to try to pass his work off on me. I have simply taken the tack of answering his specific questions and volunteering no additional information.

So, Wednesday two weeks ago, I had been answering some questions for him (while I knew he was trying to get me to do his job for him), and he gets frustrated and sends me this:

So, Chris….are you going to do any leg work to try to help us figure this out, or are you just going to throw out ideas? We would appreciate your help with this.

I reply with:

I thought you might be able to check the dates when these codes were added. Was I wrong?

To which he writes:

Seriously? You don’t think we already did this? Do you really think we are that incompetent?

First of all, I was surprised he put this in writing. This was a first. Most of his abuse up until this point had been verbal and I hesitated to report it as it would quickly devolve into a he said/he said type of disagreement. Second, he put some people on the e-mail that are in a completly different department. Bad form, I thought. I stopped responding to him after that. I wasn't going to say anything that would help my career any, so I didn't say anything.

Immediately after this, he scheduled a meeting titled "Stop the Insanity!" with me and the people he had put on the e-mail, and a director from a different department. I thought he was trying to build support to "force" me to do his work. I guessed that he was going to argue that the work needed to get done, he wasn't capable of doing it, and therefor it fell to me to finish it. (In reality, what he does is take a wild guess without doing any research and then CC's me for confirmation. In this mind, he has transitioned the problem to me and wiped his hands of it.) I didn't attend the meeting.

So I had a meeting with my manager today. I was hesitant to bring this up. I don't want to start a war, I just want to do my job and I just want him to do his. If this were outside work, I'd be poking this guy until he imploded (as he is clearly mentally unbalanced), but I want to keep my job, so instead I have withdrawn from the conflict and contemplated the best way to proceed.

So I told my manager about my issues. She wasn't surprised. That team that the "problem coworker" was screaming at two years ago? They reported to her at the time. She already knew the story. She was familiar with his erratic behavior.

She's talking to him on Monday about it. We'll see how it goes. I fully anticipate some kind of retribution.

[deanp]

So... your manager has known about the behavior for two years, most likely along with managers from the 'other' team and they have done nothing about it. Maybe he (the problem employee) will get a promotion...

[MotoSook]

I had a guy like that at my prior company. He is a senior engineer with 25+ yrs experience. I was a senior engineer with less than 10 yrs experience. I wasn't as dismissive as you are being with the guy and things came to a head. I didn't back down and the managers pretty much kept the guy off my projects. I made project manager shortly after. Managers fo the most part know what's going on and as long as you are performing and doing your job in a professional manner you'll always come out on top. Good luck.

[flatbutt]

Chris, IMHO you have him right where you want him. First he has a previous history of this behavior. Your manager has confirmed this. Second, he has progressed from verbal to written. He either is getting confident in pushing you around so that he feels comfortable in writing things out. Or his frustration is growing to the point that his self control is waning.

Continue to do your job, cover your back with copies of his ranting as well as your reasonable, cooperative answers. Do not meet with him alone or at least leave the door open. And do expect him to do something totally off the wall in an effort to make you look bad.

I've been there bro. And I've supervised people just like him.

[nostatic]

you need to have a kid. You'll be so tired you won't have the energy to worry so much about this crap.

[flatbutt]

I don't know Todd. I never worried more about my job than when my kids were small.

[Superman]

Talking to your manager was an excellent choice. A gamble of course, but communication is the key. The most massive problems are the ones caused by miscommunication or lack of communication. Your manager probably appreciated the communication and of course, would now appreciate you placing this where it belongs.....on the farthest back burner. Another observation I'd make is that these yayhoos depend on poor communication to conduct their evil, and therefore open and candid (calm, professional) communication is the kryptonite, so to speak.

Then again, being on your Ignore List, I wonder why I wasted my time just now.

[dhoward]

Kick his ass in the parking lot.





I would like to do this sometimes.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

I don't know Todd. I never worried more about my job than when my kids were small.

Well, I remember when I was new faculty and I got really wound up about the dead wood and academic politics. Then Calvin came along and frankly it was all I could do to just do my work and take care of him. While the same dead wood and politics still swirled, I didn't have the energy to engage them. As a result I was happier, and it probably helped my career. I was able to learn to navigate the waters from a bit more of a distance, and it affected me a lot less.

While there always are problem co-workers, the reality is that for a relationship to be fubar it takes two.

[legion]

Originally Posted by deanp

So... your manager has known about the behavior for two years, most likely along with managers from the 'other' team and they have done nothing about it. Maybe he (the problem employee) will get a promotion...

Firing him wouldn't be easy. There is a hint in my post as to why.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by nostatic

................
While there always are problem co-workers, the reality is that for a relationship to be fubar it takes two.

would that this were totally true. It is accurate to say that we don't need to make their problems our problems. And by takingyour advice we do save ALOT of energy. But politics can really be a beotch in the workplace. And sometimes he who lies first wins. Sadly.

[MotoSook]

I had a kid and it totally chilled me out. Tired and just didn't want to take anythig personal thentake it home where the baby was always ready for a hug.

[deanp]

Yeah, I saw he's a "consumate brown-noser and member of a 'protected group' ", which means the talking to from your manager will mean nothing. You did the right thing, but my expectations on a remedy to the problem on Monday would be set pretty low. My other post should have been green.

[dhoward]

Originally Posted by nostatic

While there always are problem co-workers, the reality is that for a relationship to be fubar it takes two.

100% false.

[Gogar]

Originally Posted by legion

Firing him wouldn't be easy. There is a hint in my post as to why.

He's Gay, or Black.

[dhoward]

Gay and black.
and differently-abled.

[legion]

The remedy is completely up to him. I am always calm and polite with him. He can chose to behave the same way or go back to being a holy terror. Either way, this is another item in the paper trail.

The reason I chose to bring this up now is that it is becoming increasingly clear that my current team lead is leaving. I'd be the logical choice to replace her. While I can avoid this guy mostly right now, it would be more difficult when I am responsible for assigning him work and making sure he gets it done on time. The way things are now, I would either demand that an outside person be brought in to lead the team or one of us leave it. It would not function with his current behavior as he'd be likely to view every assignment as punishment and every deadline as a way to make me look bad.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

would that this were totally true. It is accurate to say that we don't need to make their problems our problems. And by takingyour advice we do save ALOT of energy. But politics can really be a beotch in the workplace. And sometimes he who lies first wins. Sadly.

Office politics pale in comparison to academic politics. You are often talking about people with tenure and hence *zero* accountability. Try adding that into the mix.

I'm not saying that some people aren't insufferable and incredibly problematic. Nor am I suggesting that we all just put our heads in the sand. I'm talking with legal today about one of our subs who I think is engaging in some evil activities.

But the reality is that people have a tendency to feed into the cycle of insanity and make the situation worse. And remember that there are always two sides to any story. My main point is that having distraction to take the focus away from the sturm and drang can often help matters.

[looneybin]

i hope he doesn't have access to any guns
you don't work for the postal service do you

[RWebb]

you might try having a friendly lunch with him - you buy

ask him if there is something you are doing that is upsetting him
- let him talk - maybe even pull out a notepad and scribble on it
then say you were unaware and you'll try to be - whatever - in the future
do NOT argue

but FIRST mention it to your Mgr & use them as a sounding board

as he is 'protected' he is likely to not be fired as you surmise -- so try to transfer his attacks from you to something else - or if you are lucky he will transfer to some other jerk who shows up later or is already in your org.

this could backfire & you might become his best friend, so deal w/that later