Need It Support. FUNNY~

[targa4me]

Dear IT Support

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from
Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble. However,
there
are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible
with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware
beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 which I tried had many bugs
and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for
several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0
at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected
each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiance 1.0 only to
discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife
1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife tends to use up all my
available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and
Cleanhouse2000.

Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that
Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes
I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about
them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail
porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip!
These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what
the problem is myself.

Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating
regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and also Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drains my resources. It also conflicted with some of the new games I
wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Porsche 911 program it often crashes or runs the system dry.

Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called
Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2001, but there
could be problems, a friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2001 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before un-installing itself.

Any Ideas ?