PO Box, good idea, hassle to reroute all your regular mail but sounds like it would be totally worth it.

Maybe switch to a lockable mailbox?

Thanks, it's been a really tough year. I haven't mentioned it until now. This thread seemed relevant. She passed from misadventure, but her mom (crazyex) tried to paint a different picture. The whole thing has been horrible. Again, thanks for all the thoughts & condolences.

Obviously you need to put the screws to her. Some people confuse kindness with weakness. But what have you done to dispel that illusion ?

I am really sorry to hear this. I know exactly how frustrating, desperate and scary it is to deal with a disturbed ex. I have no good advice unfortunately. It is very difficult to handle a person that is willing to break all normal moral limits.

I can't seem to use the quote function. Sorry.
[quote] from Schrup: I did everything I could for my daughter, fought a 2 year custody battle when I saw her mother going off the deep end & won when she was twelve. I won the battle, but lost the war. My daughter died in her mothers home last April. This is only half of what I've been dealing with, but I'm well versed in crazy mean women. [\quote]

Wow. I am so very sorry to hear this. My problems are not trivial, but nothing compares to this.

Great suggestions: Lockable mailbox: I'll look into it. Cameras: Purchased, but have to get them installed. Working the mail tampering charge.

I am going first drop her an email to see how she responds. She just might be crazy enough to acknowledge it. She did this with the window / assault thing. She apologized and explained that my GF wouldn't open the door for her. Crazy. Eventually, she will get the idea.

She does lie to my daughter and brainwashes her. She is teaching her to lie to me about stupid things. she and my daughter were supposed to go to an orientation a the middle school. The Ex blew it off but told me I was the one who didn't attend. When I talked to my daughter, she started to tell me that they had not gone. The call got interrupted and then my daughter is telling me that they did go. She could not tell me anything about the event when I asked a few questions. A couple of days later when she was with me the story became that her mom went, but she didn't. It was pointless, but a perfect example.

You also be best advised to start recording telephone conversations with your ex and your daughter. If it really goes south the conversations may indeed lend credence to your claims that the ex is disturbed.

From the short story and knowing nothing about your situation in general:

Sounds like ex is reaping the harvest she sowed and regretting every bite of it.

She found someone else who was "better" and would "take care" of her? He left after getting what he wanted.

You were hurt and continued down the divorce path and met someone nice.

If you do not handle the situation with the ex you will lose the someone nice you have found, she will rightfully leave.

Ex is demonstrating a tendency to violence.


THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE IS: YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!

I am assuming you have main/controlling custody? If not, you need to address if your ex is truly coming apart in this fashion. Your daughter needs stability and a way to have a "normal" relationship with BOTH you and your ex to any extent that is possible. Your daughter needs protection and love!

You might consider talking with clergy or therapists about your daughter and ensuring how she is faring through all this. I doubt it is as well as you currently believe.


I do wish you, all four of you, the best and hope this straightens itself out. Especially for your daughter's sake!

you must have some very special assets to make the GF stick around through all this. If I were in her place I would have walked at the first confrontation with crazyX.

^^ I'm guessing this is already going on.

^^Document, document, document. Get a journal and write this stuff down NOW. You know it's not going away anytime soon. She's broken laws and exhibited violent/dangerous behavior. Avoid voice conversations ( record if neccessary to speak ) and use email/text. Do NOT say bad things about her to your daughter. EVER!! It doesn't matter if it's true because mommy's already told her you will say bad stuff about her. Doing it will prove mommy right. This is prob the most important thing right now. Things will eventually improve but if your daughter gets an earful from you about "bad mommy" it WILL come back to haunt you.


^^ I like to think the GF is a great gal and can see through all the bs. Hopefully she's the real deal.

What Denis sez

I would be more concerned what is going on with the child. Crazy, violent unstable people have no place around any children of mine. No doubt you feel the same way.
Not yet, you need to do something to protect your kid. Soonish, like yesterday. Document everything, consider asking the moderators to delete this thread, yes really.


Paul, that is the worst thing I have heard about on any forum. I can't even imagine sleeping at night after something like that. Take care of yourself.

Maybe you will consider starting a new thread. We can all be pretty good listeners here, and it might help a bit to get it off your chest and hear some friendly advice.

Yes Schrup you must be going thru hell now. I would get a restraining order on her and would file a police complaint as she has done damage. If you have not already done so, get some counselling. Your daughter needs counselling too. I went thru a divorce, no kids but the ex was not the aggressive kind. Do whatever it takes to get peace of mind for you and your daughter. You both will get thru this.

ID, any advice I can give has already been said. Prosecute for the check stealing and cashing, make her understand the penalties for her actions.

Paul, I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter. My prayers and condolences, I hope there can be some way for you to find peace and resolution through this. Hang in there.

one reason why you will never be his girl friend!

I can think of more..........

Your ex blames you for the failure of your marriage. She married you because she thought you would be able to fix what is wrong with her. When you didn't, she started to look for someone else to fix her. He ran away because he realised she was nuts. Everything is always someone elses fault. She never accepts responcibility. She is mad at you now because you moved on and appear to be happy with your new gf. It was your gf's fault she smashed the window because the gf didn't open the door fast enough. She was entitled to your refund because she needed the money to buy her stuff to make her happy. Your fault again.

Do I know this story...... she needs help and she will deny that she does. As suggested PO box for now, document everything and press charges. The only way she will get help is if she is ordered to.

romad, that is inappropriate.

island_dude, I think you deserve full custody with no visitation and I think your daughter deserves the same. Of course, if she wishes to see her mother, she should be able to...



...in jail.

Paul, so sorry man. All of your posts in the past have indicated that they came from a straight up guy. I think you have that going for you as you heal.

Paul, so sorry to hear that. I can't even imagine. Hope things are getting better for you.

Island dude, sounds like a tough situation. I guess my only general suggestion would be to try avoid actions that escalate things. Sometimes it is not avoidable, of course. Supposedly time heals all wounds, might work for your ex, too.

As far as lockable mailboxes, I had to get one of those. Most things that are advertised as lockable mailboxes can be opened with a car key, butter knife, or bare hands. Try something like this:

WDB-110 Wall Mount Drop Box: Amazon.com: Home & Kitchen