Hosting a foreign exchange student for a year?
 

Our family is seriously considering hosting a student this year. Our 17year old daughter Becky made best friends with two Austrian girls who were hosted by people in our town. We have to decide soon because the student would arrive some time in late August. We're thinking that a girl close to Becky's age would be perfect.

The two families who hosted the Austrian girls and the two girls themselves recommended us to the organization and said that we would be "perfect". Beth and I hosted a Japanese girl way back in 1988 or so for a few months during the summer when I was stationed at Camp Pendleton, CA and we all really enjoyed the experience.

Beth is not working and is looking for a teaching job, so money is extremely tight for us, but this really isn't as much of a financial commitment as it is a commitment to spend the time and effort to be sure this person really feels comfortable in our home and gets an excellent experience.

Since Becky is really into dance, swimming, rowing and playing the cello (and her dog, Daisy), the organization would try to match us up with another girl with similar interests. We're thinking a German or Austrian, but it could be any country... The Austrian student really loves our pool and comes over to swim with Becky and our next-door neighbors quite often. Both exchange students spent quite a bit of time at our home and seemed to be very comfortable, pleasant and fun to be around.

We're a pretty low-key, low maintenance family so we want to be sure we get a good match so it's a positive experience for all involved.

Has anyone here ever hosted an exchange student or know someone who did? What was your experience like?

Nobody?

I would say do it. This sounds like one of those things that, while at the time may seem like a bit of an inconvenience, ends up being one of those things you remember forever.

My sister did an exchange with a Swedish girl when they were 12 or 13 and everyone loved it.

I have nothing to add to this thread that would honorable.

Art, it was the best thing I ever did and it changed my life forever. One Sunday in church when I was around 13, the pastor announced the need for host families for a few German exchange students. I was always a German buff and wanted to take it once I got into high school. The guy we took in was a good guy and really lit the fire for me to get into German. I began teaching myself before I started German in high school. When I was a junior I went to be an exchange student in Germany and I went to that class's 20th reunion in Germany last May (I was put back a grade and they go a year longer than we do). I still keep in touch with all my friends there. One girl from Austria, who was in the group with our German exchange student, is still a dear friend to this day. She is three yrs. older than me and I've visited her about 20 times in Austria, went to her sister's wedding and feel like they're my second family. I was just there in May. Austria is a slice of heaven. I would live there in a heartbeat. But what they speak ain't German. Some folks laughed when Obama called their language Austrian, but that's really what it is. In written form, it's German. Not so in spoken form. My German is now almost as good as my English and I can easily pass for a native when visiting there.

We hosted an exchnage student for 3 weeks, around 1982. The only things I remember are he stunk and he called me a Nazi for being in the Boy Scouts.

My neice is about to go to Spain for a year.

Thanks for the great feedback, guys! I showed Beth the replies, especially Rick's. I think we will have to make our decision this weekend. Thanks again!

What are all you grown ups doing in this thread? Okay, since HD would not do it


are they hot?

Okay, seriously, I would encourage you to do so. My daughter-in-law was an exchange student in Spain and still corresponds with her host family, years later. When she had twin daughters, one's name was inspired by the children of her hosts. The other's name was inspired by the catcher of the SF Giants. My son's doing, his wife said, "It is a flower too."

I don't know that I have ever heard of someone that hosted an exchange student and was unhappy about it in any way.

Are you allowed to upgrade to an au pair?

Sorry, nothing of value to add, as I've never been on the receiving end of exchange student status. Re: finances, aren't some of them (i.e. for food) covered by the participant's family/organization?

Red-I had no idea you were one of those dreaded nazi boy scouts!SmileWavy

Au pairs are a different ballgame. I've known a lot of them too. They're usually of age and I've seen one or two become homewreckers. Exchange students are just another mouth to feed, but are responsible for all their other expenses.

Thanks for the feedback, guys! The student's parents take care of clothes, medical ins. and incidentals (school expenses, etc...). All the host family is responsible for is food and shelter...

Our family has hosted about 8 exchange students over the years ranging in time from 3 months up to 1 year. Absolutely the best experience. Not all perfect but then again neither are you own kids! Most have been thru Rotary Youth Exchange which does a pretty good job theses days of screening out the mismatches.
Two of my kids went on exchange for a year. One to Denmark and one to upstate New York (Rome). Both had a great time and are still in contact with their friends from those times.
I'd say go for it.
Tim

I should have added that the ones we hosted came from Denmark, Finland, USA, Mexico, France, Austria, Italy and England. All were of a similar age to one of our children at the time, so they mixed in well.

Thanks!!

Art, I have no personal experience with the student exchange program (when I was a kid, we were still shooting at each other) but it seems that you, Beth, and Becky would be the ideal family to do this and enjoy it. I know it would be a positive experience for the exchange student. Just don't try to teach them how to grill! j/k

Even after I was in college, my folks hosted the sisters of two of the exchange students we'd hosted when I was in high school. Our families are still very close and their folks call my folks once in a while to chat. Right after I came home from my first exchange (I did it both in hs and college), there was a German au pair across the street from us. We became great friends and I got to keep my German in shape between trips to the Fatherland. My folks became the go-to house for all the local German au pairs' car and home emergencies.

BTW, I was kicked out of the house by the first family I lived with two weeks before I was to return home. It was the best thing that ever happened to me because the second family was from E. Germany and that facilitated my being able to go visit their old village on my next trip, still before the Wall came down. I made up with the first family the following summer and we're all still great friends. Their son just bought his second 911, a 71 T. I brought him Wayne's 101 Projects book on my trip there last year.

But truth be told, in a student exchange, the student and the host family tend to learn more about themselves than each other. If you haven't had a lot of up-close experience with foreigners, it will make you think and will pique your curiosity. Imagine how silly it was when I was taking the Foreign Service exam last year and one of the essay questions was to describe an interaction I had had with a foreigner. I was stumped and.....well, we're doomed.

Wow. Presumably you've already got "shelter" covered in your family's expenses. But another mouth to feed can run a few thousand dollars. Even if you only figured $10 per day (probably a vast underestimation, IMO), that's $300 per month x 9 months.

We had a girl stay with us that was from Bangkok. We had a great time and my family learned a lot for the 3 months she was with us. A great experience.

Neither did I.... Surprised it didn't come up the other day, with both Tom and I being 2%'ers and all. ;)

I'll be you did.:cool:

My cousin had an exchange student from Sweden.

OMG she set new levels in just how beautiful a girl could be. Jeez, I can hardly breathe.

My wife's brother in Iowa hosted a girl from Germany a few years ago, was the same age as her daughter. She has flown back twice on her on dime to visit, once was for their other daughter's wedding.
They are in Germany right now, visiting the girl and her family.
btw, it cost her another year in school, a lot of the classes didn't transfer.
The high school in my town has a GAP program that exchanges students both ways with their 'sister city' but we weren't involved personally.
Jim

The Austrian exchange student that was here for 6 months is here visiting this summer for two months and she was over last night. She told us that we are "perfect" to host because our home isn't too "crazy" (her words). Her host family had 5 or 6 kids and the other Austrian exchange student was hosted by a family with no kids, so that was a little boring for her. We have a daughter and a son and there's always something going on at our house (band practice, kids in the pool, Beth cooking for people, etc...).

We can turn the music room upstairs into a bedroom pretty easily.

My parents had an 18-year old exchange student from Brazil to live with them last year for five months. Great experience for them. She and her mother returned a few days ago to visit.

I have to say that a bunch of my friends were kind of creepy with her. Way too young for me even though I was single during that period.

Austrian and Finnish girls have come back for a visit again once they finished school. My wife and daughter have visited the one from France.

The one from USA is a teacher like my eldest daughter and came out on her honeymoon to my daughters wedding last year. The one from England who lived with us for a year ended up staying in Australia and her family emigrated!!

I have to say that they have all been stunning young ladies in their different ways yet my son was always on his best behaviour - something about sh##ing on your own door step.

my favorite niece is in Marrakesh now..
her Mom & I were there many moons ago...
told her..
don't do what your Mom did..
what did she do..?
Sis gave me a tap to the noggin..
shut up..pass the salad..

thankfully she's street & book smart..

Rika

We're still discussing it. My wife is concerned about our finances as she lost her teaching job at the end of the school year. even with the increased salary at me new job at Ford, we are still significantly short of what we were at before, so the timing for this could be better.

We're going to a meeting with the organization rep that runs the program this PM. We have found an excellent match, a young girl from Norway the same age as our daughter with very similar interests. She's a vegetarian, so Beth can cook veggie meals for her and me and she is interested in the same things we are. I spoke to a gentleman at work who has hosted 4 kids and he highly recommended the kids from Norway and said that we had covered all of the important points. Tonight will decide whether or not we do this...

Our student arrives on Friday, so we spent the day getting the bedroom ready and moving stuff around. We turned the music room into a bedroom for our student and our daughter, picked up a spare bed from my father's, cleaned everything up and cleaned out closets, etc... Now I have a drumset in our bedroom until we can figure out what to do with it...

We've been in contact with our student and her parents via email and we sent them info about us, our town and the school their daughter will be attending. We included pics and they seemed to enjoy that. Becky and Dina have been exchanging emails and I think that will help her adjust to our family...

cool!!

what are the cost to you? just feeding her? her parents kick in?

Cliff,
We pay for food, lodging and misc things that we want to give her. Her parents pay for most of it and she will have $200 a month spending $ for movies, eating out with friends, etc... We provide her three meals a day and when we take her with us, we will pay for meals, just like one of our kids. The big committment isn't money, it's time and effort to make sure she has a good, safe and rewarding experience here. We're really looking forward to this "adventure"!

We found out that her student year at our school will count towards her degree in Norway, so we have to be sure she takes the required classes, etc... Beth is a teacher, so this part may be easier for us.

This is a really fun thread to read. Thank you. :)

Fun times ahead at your house. I'm still grinning about the drum set...

_

cool deal ART. sounds like fun.

Ha. When I did the junior year abroad in college, my GPA was to carry over and I'd get 30 credits for the year. I just had to prove I was registered for classes. In Germany you can take college courses for grades or for "participation cards." The latter just requires you register for the class and show up once in a while. So that's what I did. Finally, after feeling guilty for doing just about no schoolwork for months, I volunteered to do a term paper and lead a class discussion about it. That was a bit of a challenge in college-level, written German in the days before online translators and the Internet. Once I was done I treated myself to a week in Graz, Austria.

When I returned to school in the US, the registrar told me I had to have the chairman of the German department translate my school docs. I went to see him about that. He interviewed me for about two min. in German and, satisfied I knew what I was talking about, then said, "Ok, write up your own translations and I'll sign them." That's all I had to do to get 30 credits.

When I did it in high school, my US-based German teacher said I just had to attend classes, write him a letter a week in German and keep a diary in German. That counted an "independent study" semester, I got full credit for it and an award at graduation for excellence in German. Studying abroad is definitely the way to go!

This is great Art! Congrats for deciding to be a host parent. Out daughter (now 17) just arrived home from a year in Germany about 3 weeks ago. It was a wonderful experience for her. We have decided to be a host for her 'sister' in Germany that she spent the last year with, making this a true exchange, although not at the same time. She's arriving in Thursday and we are getting her room ready as well. I think we can really be a positive influence on a young person's life and we are all looking forward to showing her around and being north American for a year! Good luck!

I know two women who "host" students. Most of these kids parents are very well off. One kid from Germany had his own maid at home to clean up after him. That changed the first week he was here. He thought the host was going to clean up after him. Turned out to be a pretty good kid other than being a slob at the start of his stay.

They get $600 a month per kid. Sometimes they have two at a time.

there's a few big Exchange organizations around (Rotary, YFU) and I haven't heard of the host parents getting paid - I know we're not getting anything. It costs the students parents quite a bit though to send them overseas.

My in-laws hosted three exchange students as their youngest was coming up.

First was French and very nice, well mannered, happy to be here.

Second was Norwegian. Came from a very good family, wanted to come to The States to expand her horizons. Wonderful experience.

Third was from Norway. Girl came to The States to try and find a husband (17). She was trouble, stayed out late, major issues. She was also huge into p0rnogr@phy. Their computer was toasted with stuff and the girl posted on sites searching for men. She was sent home.

From my discussions with the girls I found out the vegetarianism was more about avoiding any risk of mad cow disease or other such things. They are aware of the issues of so many farmers feeding their stock bird manure instead of grass or grains. They would eat fresh water or Gulf fish, avoided anything from the great lakes.

If she is truly vegetarian then I suggest you get an additional set of cookware, maybe find some pyrex skillets and pots in another color. Go to garage sales, etc. Clean very well, boil water in them, sterilize them. Let the student know you have done this and keep these dishes for ONLY vegetarian dishes.

Make sure you provide enough protein, the student will require this to grow!

Best of luck, it can be a very wonderful experience!