Why Do Some (Many) Sexually Abused Girls Become Hypersexual Women?

M.D. Holloway · 10-23-2012, 08:53 AM

I don't mean to paint this with a broad brush but it has not only been my observation but also experience that women who were molested as young girls seem to be either hyper sexual adults and sometimes get into the 'skin' industry (prostitution or stripping).

Now it would seem to me that if a girls daddy, uncle, teacher, brother or who ever molested them or even raped them they would be turned off by sex entirely. This just doesn't seem to be the case.

Some say they are looking to gain control back but that seems strange to me. I would think that if I was burned by a match as a child I would stay the heck away from fire as an adult and not become a firemen or a pyromaniac!

I had a girl friend in college who loved to French kiss. She confessed one day that she was molested by her father - he used to French kiss her when she was young and then it got worse from there. While by all accounts she was really cool and a great lover I never forgot what she told me and often wished I asked her "If your dad did that to you when you were little and you were mortified and discusted by it then why would you enjoy it now?" but I never did ask her. I felt it crossed a line and I didn't want to harp on a painful subject.

So why is it do you think?

afterburn 549 · 10-23-2012, 08:55 AM

lack of self esteem

M.D. Holloway · 10-23-2012, 09:01 AM

OK, but I can see that for some but I have to say I don't think that runs true to them all. If they have low self esteem would they still enjoy sex and be able to not only get off but also become very good at it? Again, it seems ironic ...

Then again, some/many men who were molested as boys get turned off to sex with women when their molesters were men?

Again, this sex thing is very strange indeed!

masraum · 10-23-2012, 09:23 AM

Different psyche react differently. Just like dangerous situations may evoke the flight or fight reaction, the situation that you're asking about evokes various reactions. I'm sure there are also a lot of women who close down sexually. But because of their reaction you're probably not as aware of them. There are probably other reactions and degrees in between as well. The human mind it's a complex and mysterious thing.

BE911SC · 10-23-2012, 09:24 AM

One of my college GFs had her father walk out the door on her family when she was about 16. Massive daddy-abandonment issues and she would do ANYTHING to keep me living in her apartment. Lotsa' fun but terrible wife material. Issues. Beware of the issues.

matt711 · matt711's Garage

Preachers daughters.... what's the story there? Dated one of them in High School and all I can say is FREAK!

-Matt

M.D. Holloway · 10-23-2012, 10:20 AM

I just read "If it happens at a younger age, hyper-sexuality has more of a chance of forming. If you experience something so traumatizing as having another human violating you, hurting you, taking away your innocence, your brain starts thinking "Hey, they did this to me, so it must be the only thing I'm worth. Sex is the only thing I'm good for."
Or another reason is by having sex with many people, nobody can "hurt" you again. So instead of experiencing another terrible even like sexual abuse, you give yourself away to prevent it."

I guess its one way of dealing with it?

afterburn 549 · 10-23-2012, 10:34 AM

A child that has a good father figure in their life,- grows up to be a confidant well rounded person.....just the opposite with lack of.
So other issues develop to try to compensate ...Thats crux of the thought from higher learning tanks.
Seems to be true.

s_wilwerding · s_wilwerding's Garage

Most men look at sexuality about the same - the want it all the time, can't ever get as much as they want, and are willing to trade varying amounts of money/time to get it.

There are many ways that women look at sex - romantic, quid pro quo, completely meaningless, etc. I think that sexually abused girls tend to look at sex in the quid pro quo/meaningless category, and therefore tend not to think too much about having a lot sex.

Again, broad brush, and there are plenty of women who were not sexually abused who fall into the quid pro quo category.

I think there is a lot of truth in this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90qpDg5y7Lo

1990C4S · 10-23-2012, 10:44 AM

My ongoing research continues.

M.D. Holloway · 10-23-2012, 10:45 AM

A form of self distruction...prolly why so many are crazy risk takers? Love the rush of danger?

widgeon13 · 10-23-2012, 11:26 AM

In a few words I'd say they just don't know what the norm is. Very unfortunate I suppose.

oldE · 10-23-2012, 11:52 AM

I think too there are "control" issues.

Someone who was in control exploited them in a sexual way. Therefore, at some level, being sexually 'forward' is being in control.

I suppose it is not so different from someone who was bullied turning into a bully themselves.

Sad

Les

HardDrive · 10-23-2012, 12:36 PM

Its sad. My mom was not faithful to my father. She was abused as kid, her dad ran off. She is a woman who hates men, but derives all of her power from men. She loved to manipulate men with her sexuality. But as she grew to be an older woman, she lost her powers, and never really found a healthy way to relate.

She is jaded and bitter, and has horrible behavioral issues. She goes from zero to screaming at you in about 3 seconds. A real peach. I have little contact with her, and its pretty formal when we do. We don't live that way in our house. Period.

vash · vash's Garage

when i was a college freshman, i had to take a psychology class. i remember learning that most of the mental illnesses manifest themselves with some form of promiscuity or another. bipolar, schizophrenia, etc.. all the major hits. i dont have textbook in front of me..just what i remember.

i think an abusive upbringing simply messes with their heads. self worth, confidence..they just cant adjust.

sad. amazing how many women do adjust. i bet this happens alot.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Never stick your d*ck in crazy.

M.D. Holloway · 10-23-2012, 01:41 PM

I was quoted a stat that I don't want to believe is true...1 out of every 3 women was sexually assaulted as a kid or teen...

azasadny · azasadny's Garage

My former commanding officer in the USN told me years ago that EVERY female Marine and Navy member he ever counseled was sexually molested in their youth, usually by a male family member. Why these women would join a predominately male organization puzzled both of us. Seeking approval of some kind?

URY914 · 10-23-2012, 02:10 PM

I used to listen to Howard Stern. EVERY porn star/stripper he'd have on the show he ask at what age did the brother/fater/step-father/uncle touch them. 99% said it did happen.

patssle · 10-23-2012, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azasadny

My former commanding officer in the USN told me years ago that EVERY female Marine and Navy member he ever counseled was sexually molested in their youth, usually by a male family member. Why these women would join a predominately male organization puzzled both of us. Seeking approval of some kind?

It doesn't help that there is a massive amount of sexual crimes in the military that everybody ignores and covers-up.