I need a laugh. Know of any gut busting threads or posts?
 

I've read some that had me in stitches but dang if I can remember who, what when they were. If you can shoot me some links, please do. I need a laugh. Thanks!

This one starts off pretty good.... http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/489929-weird-things-youve-been-told-co-worker.html

One from slodave. :D

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *******!
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http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/274943-just-cut-my-sack.html#post2501870

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/520481-pelican-chat-post5124416.html

The Higgins shower turd is a good one as well.

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Does this need a login?
Pseudough legal advice please

That washing machine vid cracked me up. Don't know why I find it hysterical--I just do.

Some other epic threads:
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/677157-worst-forum-story-ever.html

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Texts From Last Night

I haven't been there in a long time until just now. It's part "more evidence of the breakdown of society/morals" and part "that is funny... in a sad, desperate, but creatively crafted kind of way."

Stuff like...

"He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing."


"Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?"


"I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot"


"My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done."


"So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?"


"i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight"