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-   -   Am I being overprotective..... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/735422-am-i-being-overprotective.html)

scottmandue 02-22-2013 11:50 AM

While I firmly believe in male/female equality...

However I think it is unrealistic not to recognize that generally speaking parent are more protective of girl than boys.

Therefor I don't think it is fair for you boys be to posting "when I was 24"... very different scenario going on there.

And of course ever person is different, as seahawk said I know of people in the armed forces that at 24 were married with kids and owned a house...

Me? At 24 I was drunk on wine and scoring pocololo on the beach in Hawaii (kids, don't try this at home!)

YMMV

kaisen 02-22-2013 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue (Post 7289603)
While I firmly believe in male/female equality...

However I think it is unrealistic not to recognize that generally speaking parent are more protective of girl than boys.

Therefor I don't think it is fair for you boys be to posting "when I was 24"... very different scenario going on there.

Only 45-65 year old MEN believe that inequality. Seriously. If you think it's different for 24 yr old girls than it is for 24 yr old boys, then you are perpetuating the double standard.

It is no different for girls than it is for boys.

Girls can hold their own. Even a 24 year old girl.

gacook 02-22-2013 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaisen (Post 7289610)
Girls can hold their own. Even a 24 year old girl.

IF they've been taught right. Then again, same story for boys/men. If you've brought your kid up properly, cut 'em loose and see what wonders they can achieve.

I love my daughters to death and would protect them with my life. However, I'm teaching them to be independent. Attempting to guide them towards careers where they'll be self-sufficient, encouraging them to think for themselves. Promoting self-defense training (through martial arts) and trying to cultivate an awareness of their surroundings. In today's society, if you're not teaching your daughter how to take care of herself in every aspect of her life, you're doing her a disservice.

genrex 02-22-2013 12:15 PM

I guess I'm in the minority here who thinks the O.P. is right to be concerned...

Last year our 21-year-old daughter went to Las Vegas with some of her girlfriends, all of them staying at a nice hotel, all travel and hotel arrangements made by her grandma. She got up early her first morning there, and went out for a walk by herself. Just innocently minding her own business, getting some fresh air and some exercise. A car pulls up alongside her. Two men inside. "Hey honey, how much for a (sex act)?" She ignores them and continues walking. They follow her and repeat the question. She sarcastically replies that they can't afford her. "C'mon honey, tell us how much." Being a smart-aleck young woman, she says $10,000 knowing that's an astronomical figure. Immediately the men jump out of the car, arrest her, put her in handcuffs, and take her to jail. She calls us from jail. We drive nonstop to Las Vegas, and we are present for her court hearing. We bring her home with us after the hearing. Unfortunately, there was a hefty fine, she now has a court record in Nevada, and the judge banned her from going to Nevada for one year.

Las Vegas supposedly does this to combat prostitution.

Vancouver BC also has a prostitution problem, and their police are undoubtedly using the same tactics. What can you do about this threat? DO NOT let your daughter go for a walk by herself in Vancouver. She should always be accompanied by a companion. Vancouver BC is not a great city to be honest, and when you're dealing with baiting tactics by scuzzball pervert police officers, what choice do you have other than to be over-protective?

It's no fun to be a naive young woman spending a night in jail. :(

_

tevake 02-22-2013 12:34 PM

WOW :eek: So sorry that your Daughter and You had to go thru this injustice. This type of sting / entrapment operations are seriously questionable to me as to their legality.
Have you followed up on this in any way? Register a complaint with the P D there?
Contact the Attorney General?
That must have been really tough to accept.

Cheers Richard

genrex 02-22-2013 12:48 PM

We talked about that while driving down to get her, and we decided our top priority was to get her home safe and sound. When we got home, our daughter realized that she left her purse and wallet at the jail (had to give it to them when checking in), so we contacted the jail verbally and in writing to request that it be returned. They claimed they lost it. We concluded that Las Vegas is corrupt, and considering that, we decided to move on and forget about it. I'm a peaceable person, but as you can imagine, it really pisses me off when I think about this.

I hope other people can learn from our experience, that's all.

_

kaisen 02-22-2013 01:01 PM

The exact same thing could have happened to a 21 yr old man whose grandma booked their trip

Gay prostitution is rampant and they're clamping down

Jeez

ZOA NOM 02-22-2013 01:07 PM

Again, each father must make his own choices about his daughter, as he alone will live with those choices.

svandamme 02-22-2013 01:17 PM

This thread reeks of trolling

tevake 02-22-2013 01:38 PM

^^^ svandamme I don't see what you are referring to about trolling here. Could you explain please?

Cheers Richard

svandamme 02-22-2013 01:41 PM

Asking if " am i to protective about my twenty four year old daughter going to a convention" to me smells like trolling for response.

Seriously , she hasn't been out of town on her own by age 24??
I had lived in 3 different countries by then. on my own.

14 i would get, but 24 !??!? seriously that's old enough go have gotten married, have a couple of kids and be divorced again.

scottmandue 02-22-2013 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaisen (Post 7289610)
Only 45-65 year old MEN believe that inequality. Seriously. If you think it's different for 24 yr old girls than it is for 24 yr old boys, then you are perpetuating the double standard.

It is no different for girls than it is for boys.

Girls can hold their own. Even a 24 year old girl.

I think you are confusing equality with sameness.

I believe and support that men and women are 100% equal, but I do not feel they are the same.

If you have a 16 year old son and daughter when the son goes out on a date you may not even see his date, when the daughter goes on a date her date most likely will knock on your door.

For that matter why then do we have mens/womens bathroom? Or separate mens and womens events in the Olympics? :p

fintstone 02-22-2013 01:57 PM

My daughter was still on school at 24 and both she and I were concerned when she travelled alone. In fact, I was somewhat concerned when she recently drove cross country alone at 27...even though I was married with 2 kids and stationed overseas by that age.

It is a dangerous world.

scottmandue 02-22-2013 02:01 PM

And age is very subjective... there are 24 year olds that act like 12 year olds (visit youtube) and 12 year olds that act lik 30 year olds.

svandamme 02-22-2013 02:01 PM

concerned, sure, but did you consider if you had to be there with her to check?

Head416 02-22-2013 02:18 PM

The are hundreds of things that could go wrong, but keeping her tied up at home until she's 24 isn't the answer. You have to let go (long overdue) and hope for the best.

You don't have to like it though.

McLovin 02-22-2013 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 7289844)
My daughter was still on school at 24 and both she and I were concerned when she travelled alone. In fact, I was somewhat concerned when she recently drove cross country alone at 27...even though I was married with 2 kids and stationed overseas by that age.

It is a dangerous world.

Sure, I think the concern as a parent *never* ends.

Heck, I'm pushing 50, and I know my mom is still worries. Esp. any time I'm traveling, driving long distances, etc. Because, as you say, it's a dangerous world.

But traveling with an adult child to "watch after" them is taking it to a whole new level.

gprsh924 02-22-2013 02:40 PM

There's no way he's serious is there? My friends and I were doing cross country roadtrips at 18.

And to the ridiculous girls vs. boys standard, my sister took a couple with her friends starting at 19.

Most girls I graduated college with moved out of state from their parents for their first jobs.

gprsh924 02-22-2013 02:41 PM

What mclovin said.

I know my mom gets nervous everytime I travel. I'm on my way to the airport for my third flight in 4 weeks. She wants me to call when I land.

But "watch over"?? Creepy

romad 02-22-2013 02:43 PM

Worrying about your kids is one thing...hand holding a normal 24 year old woman borders on pathological. hell it is pathological


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