Troublemakers on my Little League team...

[mikester]

I couch a little league team.

4 of the kids aren't getting along for various reasons:

1) is kind of a hyper and generally known to be a disruptor. He is a very nice boy though but doesn't make the greatest choices I guess. Divorced parents but in a stable home with a very good step dad. When step dad is around he is better but that isn't always possible.
2) Slightly older in the bunch, very skilled but picks on every other member of the team. Divorced parents - both parents very involved and supportive.
3) Angry boy - he's just angry. When he misses a ball he gets pissed and if the kid behind him covers the miss like he's supposed to instead of leaving it for him he gets physical. Divorced parents - again - both very involved and supportive and dammit even friendly. I have known them for years and didn't even realized they were divorced until she kept bringing around this other dude.
4)Slightly less angry boy - he is probably the youngest on the team and plays along with number 1, 2 and 3. Parents are together, Dad is one of the coaches.

The rest of the team is probably a year more experienced and generally more mature. They get it perfectly. These 4 though aren't and it's disrupting the team.

I only mentioned the parental status because it seems the majority of the kids do come from disrupted homes. While I think it is contributing to their behaviour I don't really fault these parents. I've known them all for a long time and am friends with them. They are doing WAY better than most folks in this situation. Most of them I didn't actually know they were divorced until some awkward moment for me happened where I realized it. Of course my wife knew everything and never told me...

Anyway - I was trying to find some team building stuff to help these kids rather than simply making them run until they are too tired to be a problem. I just can't find anything. If I don't have them run then my other option may simply be to tell the parents that they have to hang out and monitor their kid's behavior because I can't watch them 100% of the time. I ask a pair who have gotten into it what happened and I get fingers pointing at each other and yelling he did it no he did it! If I have the parent watch their own kid and make the kid realize that he's being watched because of his behavior then maybe they will get it then. But then they are supposed to be out here having fun and that doesn't sound fun to me.

I can only afford to send one of them home if that were an option. I'm not even sure it is - I'd hate to do that though. I like every single one of these kids. They are fantastic kids who I have known for years and I love coaching them but this year they just really seem to be a bad combination.

I'm not sure what to do...

[T77911S]

i was expecting trouble maker parents.

[stealthn]

Discuss with the arenas and ask them how they can help you.

[LakeCleElum]

We could be of more help if you post pictures of their mothers?

Seriously, when I was acting up as a kid, a sixth grade teacher spent about an hour with me telling me I had potential, but was not using it.....That talk changed my life and I started to take school seriously. Went from being a knucklehead troublemaker to a honor-roll student in the next few years.....

[nostatic]

How many of the non-troublemakers have divorced parents?

[Seahawk]

Are they acting out at practice or games?

If practice, split the squad up into many small groups and roll through a number of skill drills, not just BP and Infield. Keep them busy. Ask the Moms and Dads to help, even the divorced ones

Boredom is the enemy of baseball practice at their age.

This is a good link: How To Run An Efficient Baseball Practice

It is funny how times change. When I was a kid if I had acted out to the Coach I was one phone call away from Unpleasantville, My House, USA.

[romad]

Seahawk is right on.....I coached and did cub scout for years If you don't keep the kids moving or engaged it will degrade quickly. Mismanaged practices are killing youth baseball.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

It is funny how times change. When I was a kid if I had acted out to the Coach I was one phone call away from Unpleasantville, My House, USA.

For 4 of my 5 years in LL, my coach worked with my dad and they both pitched for the company fastpitch softball team.

I worked my butt off...

[ZOA NOM]

cut the most talented troublemaker from the team. the rest will fall in line.

[Joe Bob]

[ZOA NOM]

[matt f]

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

Girl in white deserved it.
She tried to cop a feel.

[ZOA NOM]

Originally Posted by bkreigsr

Sorry, sounds like you're in the wrong position.
Kids are as diverse as the day is long, regardless of parental marital status and you can't expect them to all react the same to the guidance you are providing.
I worked with 10-yr-olds in religious education classes for over 11 years and never had a class where one set of general instructions was taken the same way by each kid.
Also coached t-ball and little league when my sons were involved, for 6 years.
You've got to be flexible and quick on the draw.
Bill K

I tend to disagree with this sentiment when it comes to organized activities, to a degree. I do agree that a coach needs to understand that each kid learns differently and comes from different circumstances, but that is the value of an organized activity, to give them something they are looking for; structure and rules. These activities are supposed to develop, not react to their world. I coached football for 15 years from 8 year-olds all the way up to high school, and the value of the program was the consistent structure they were expected to conform to.

[bkreigsr]

Originally Posted by ZOA NOM

I tend to disagree with this sentiment when it comes to organized activities, to a degree. I do agree that a coach needs to understand that each kid learns differently and comes from different circumstances, but that is the value of an organized activity, to give them something they are looking for; structure and rules. These activities are supposed to develop, not react to their world. I coached football for 15 years from 8 year-olds all the way up to high school, and the value of the program was the consistent structure they were expected to conform to.

(I deleted the post after I saw his other thread)
you're right - after seeing his other post, he (and his wife) obviously have the qualifications to deal with the situations.
my bad
Bill K
apologies to the OP

[mikester]

Originally Posted by nostatic

How many of the non-troublemakers have divorced parents?

None but I do believe that is in the original post.

[scottbombedout]

Hi Mike, what a really awkward situation. Especially when you say you can only afford to send one of them home.

We have the same situation in my 10 year old son's soccer team. I hate to say it but we have had to ask parents to take their kids and leave. Why should the majority of the kids suffer because of the behaviour of a few? Not very PC I know.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by mikester

None but I do believe that is in the original post.

I don't see reference to that. Only that a majority of the troublemakers come from "disrupted" homes (3 out of the 4).

Just seems odd to call that factor out, then try to minimize it. In fact you state that they are younger and less experienced. Maybe there is some internal bias on divorce and that colors perception of the kids' behavior?

[gacook]

I'd agree with Nostatic about the OP's bias toward split families.

Thing is, with America's 50%+ divorce rate, MOST kids these days have some form of "broken home." How they adjust to it is really based on the parents. My ex and I realize that though we're no longer married to each other, we're both still parents to our kids, and we collaborate quite well. We've both remarried, and our kids have been lucky to get 2 pretty good step-parents now, too. There's A LOT I don't agree with the ex on, but I never point this stuff out to my kids; when they start talking smack about something (like the fact she's a terrible cook), I simply point out to them that everybody has their strengths and weaknesses, and while she might not be a gourmet chef, she IS good at sewing them costumes (or something to that nature).

Where you really see the messed up kids is when the parents had an ugly divorce, talk schit about one another non-stop TO the kids and are generally putting the kids in a constant unhappy situation.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Are they acting out at practice or games?

If practice, split the squad up into many small groups and roll through a number of skill drills, not just BP and Infield. Keep them busy. Ask the Moms and Dads to help, even the divorced ones

Boredom is the enemy of baseball practice at their age.

This is a good link: How To Run An Efficient Baseball Practice

It is funny how times change. When I was a kid if I had acted out to the Coach I was one phone call away from Unpleasantville, My House, USA.

Yeah - We made a plan to speak to the parents between the coaches. I spoke to my two that day and highlighted that it wasn't just their kid but we did need to see some behaviors change.

We do split them up into small groups to drill at practice and if they don't pay attention they do laps and miss their turn. then they try to come back into the rotation and cut into where they think they should be instead of just getting at the end of the line. When the other players don't let them in - pushing and shoving - practice stops. We have tried to address that with simple 'stop it'. Don't cut in line, if someone is cutting in line arguing about it is just wasting time. You're both on the same team start acting like it.


They are less of a problem during games - especially the talented one. So from Seahawks excellent link which was exactly what I was looking for I already have some good stuff on how to handle it. I have to socialize not playing this kid in a game if he is a disruption in practice though as our Manager may not want to go with that. But, our last game he was off skiing and it was our best game yet.

The other kids can still be disruptive but are much less so during games with the exception of #1, the disruptor. he's just pretty ADHD and can't sit still - I get it, my oldest is like that as well. In fact - he's #4. When he isn't paying attention I have him benched just like anyone else.

I saw the question of my qualifications and I know that was retracted but man to be honest I don't think you're wrong. I'm probably not the best guy to be the coach and I know I'm not the best Cub Scout leader because I've seen much better. I've tried to emulate those guys and while I don't think I'm a bad leader I'm just not as good as those guys.

The problem is when they asked for volunteers everyone else took a step back for the most part and me an a few other guys stepped forward. So, we're it regardless of our qualifications. If the parents of the 'troublemakers' don't like it my only problem becomes if I send them home can I actually field a team? At that point of course I go to the league and we do some trades if we have to. I don't want to get there though - I'd much rather change what I'm doing to help them handle things better and get them to adjust their behavior as well.

I believe in these team sport things - I work on teams all the time at work and all these things the kids are doing on their sports teams are extremely important to how successful they can be in life.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by nostatic

I don't see reference to that. Only that a majority of the troublemakers come from "disrupted" homes (3 out of the 4).

Just seems odd to call that factor out, then try to minimize it. In fact you state that they are younger and less experienced. Maybe there is some internal bias on divorce and that colors perception of the kids' behavior?

nope, no bias. I'm from a divorced home myself.

The only one of the troublemakers who isn't is my own son. I did call it out minimally but didn't mention that the other kids are from unbroken homes.

I'm not saying that divorced parents are bad parents by any way shape or form. but the simple feeling remains - kids want their parents together and when they aren't it makes them sad. At least that is how I feel myself. I'm approaching 40 - my parents have been divorced for decades. It was HORRIBLE when they were together but to this day it still makes me sad to think about the fact that I really do wish that my parents had been able to just love each other as much as I loved them. It took me a long time to figure that feeling out and I didn't figure it out until I had my own kids. I can't imagine an 8-10 year old would really be able to understand those feelings they probably have.

I don't want to color these troublemakers as all bad either. I believe I said it in the original post. They are good kids who I really do like and enjoy having on the team but the last few practices and some moments in the games have been really challenging. Plus it is a bit of a safety issue if they aren't paying attention they could get hurt.