Neighbor dies, trying to help widow, how deep does this rabbit hole go?

[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

WTF?!?!!??! Where exactly did you get the idea that I'm trying to make a fast buck? The thread about reverse mortgages?

I posted that because I'm trying to explore ways to help this woman. And the numbers I quoted were NOT some random low ball figure, I used an online calculator that specifically is set up to figure out reverse mortgage numbers based on the value of the home and persons age.

I guess I'm sleep deprived, but it REALLY burns my ass that your suggesting I'm trying to take advantage of this woman. I don't need her ******* money thank you, I'm doing just fine.

Are you in it for the sex?

[john70t]

Originally Posted by RANDY P

You need to pull a title report on the house. That will tell you everything you need.

This.
There may be some hidden encumbrances against the estate which even she didn't know about: Hubby could have had an outstanding gambling debt, or twenty dependant children in Uganda, or somebody bought out the foundation, etc, etc.
You name it, it's all happened before.

My appologies again for not being more diplomatic here, man.
It was not intentional.

My father is in a care facility, but his trustee is not his wife. She is exceptional at business, but in this situation a removed party could do the big things better. I ended up in the middle of a situation last week where I couldn't do anything. Spent a few hours on the phone going through a company hierarchy to find out what needed to be done. I was not listed as a trustee and kept running into walls. Legal guardianship is serious business.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by john70t

This.
There may be some hidden encumbrances against the estate which even she didn't know about: Hubby could have had an outstanding gambling debt, or twenty dependant children in Uganda, or somebody bought out the foundation, etc, etc.
You name it, it's all happened before.

My appologies again for not being more diplomatic here, man.
It was not intentional.

My father is in a care facility, but his trustee is not his wife. She is exceptional at business, but in this situation a removed party could do the big things better. I ended up in the middle of a situation last week where I couldn't do anything. Spent a few hours on the phone going through a company hierarchy to find out what needed to be done. I was not listed as a trustee and kept running into walls. Legal guardianship is serious business.

Word. My father always had his **** together.

Used to tell me "I'm not going to be here forever so we need to go thru things" which of course he never did. Get the feeling that not doing so gave him a false sense of immortality.

Well when he passed I found out what a mess we had on our hands. There were some things that transpired that none of us knew about, he was too proud to admit that he made a mistake, a very expensive mistake that the paperwork would have revealed.

His last will was not properly notarized and to make matters worse my sister thought it was a good idea to make copies of the will and took the staples out when she did so.

It went down hill from there.

Took me 2 years and $40k out of pocket to get it all sorted and by that time the housing market took a dump and the estate ended up taking a $300k bath.

I'm still working on getting control of property and a couple of houses in VA that are part of a family trust my great grandfather set up.

[HardDrive]

I'm sorry, over reacted. I had 3 hours sleep last night, and so much on my mind its insane.

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

A couple of things.

One, I think you are trying to do the right thing.

There are some basic questions that need to be asked (my wife just went through this with her father who died two months ago and the estate - if you can call it that - was a mess).

Did he have a will?
If so, who is the Executor?
If it is the wife, she can legally appoint you to work through the very issues you are facing. This is very important. Don't do to much more without a defined role. The problem is not you rather the relations that may get antsy with what you are doing.

Nice car, valuable house, skin flint with odd ownership trails, etc. People will imagine all sort of hidden assets and assume you are after the treasure.

All kinds of trouble lurk in estate settling, from which the mother(s) of all unintended consequences spring!

Talk to a lawyer friend and see what he or she thinks. Edit: The best advice my wife got concerning her father's estate was from the funeral home, no kidding.

Good luck.

First (HardDrive) I admire you good intentions...

However...

My wife's dad just passed, he was smart and has a will and a trust and everything was set in stone.

However even among a close family that loved each other there were some tense (I am underplaying this) moments.

Your good intentions could go south fast... real fast...

be careful my friend!

[HardDrive]

This is indeed her car. I'm selling it for her because she asked me to. I'm not touching the money. I'm representing the car, but any transaction will done by the neighbor. Frankly, I seriously doubt we are going to find a buyer. She set the price. I told her it was too high, but I did what she told me.

I'm going to be leaving seattle in a month. At that point, I'm going help her put on consignment as a local dealer.

She has a single daughter who lives in Europe. As far as I know, she has never visited them her in Seattle. She did not come home for here own fathers funeral

Originally Posted by genrex

You are listing her car for sale, here and on craigslist?

Why are you involved in this? Where are her children?

1986 Mercedes 560SL for sale. $13.5k, OBO

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[John Rogers]

Hummm, I did not read anything about children or any other relatives and that would make me very nervous. If there is ANYBODY left in their family then I would be very leery about fall out down the road and the thought of being dragged into court because a relative did not like your good intentions! I agree with the idea of getting a lawyer for the lady and possibly having you stay in the loop if that is even legal.

[Rot 911]

Here is the only legal advice I am going to give you on this subject: if you don't know what the inheritance laws are in your state, then don't get involved. Many states divide property between the surviving spouse AND THEIR CHILDREN if there is no will.

This also isn't a case for a new lawyer. Trust and estate law is a fairly complex and you need a lawyer that is experienced in this area of the law.

If you wish to proceed after the above advice, then don't be surprised when your "good intentions" come back to bite you in the ass.

[greglepore]

HD-my dad, who is 96 was gifted one of those elderly scooters when he was 93 by another resident of his assisted living community who was lucid but became immobile. Her daughter called and reported my father to the local state agency that protects the elderly from abuse, without ever talking to him. My dad has a net worth that's stupid, and would never have wanted/needed to do this. He took the scooter off her hands as it needed repair and he could fix it. Moral?

No good deed goes unpunished.

I respect your desire to help your neighbor. Godamn our greedy society that will read something else into this, but they will...so protect yourself.

[genrex]

Does she still drive? Maybe she can trade it in for a good car of lesser value, and get some cash back.

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[fintstone]

I would walk very carefully. I know that if I found someone had helped my widowed mother dispose of her assets, I would be livid. Especially if she was not fully competent to make such decisions on her own due to grief or lack of experience. If she needed help, I would expect her to call me. If she did not, I would expect any friend of neighbor of her's to do so before disposing of any of her or my late father's assets. How many would want their father old Mercedes for sentimental purposes? Sadly, I would assume ulterior motives...rightly or wrongly.

I bought both my parents house and my grandparents house (20 years later) and paid a premium for both to help my mother out financially. My family refers to the purchases as "my inheritance" implying I got a sweetheart deal even though I lost my shirt on both (can't play hardball with your mother) and I gave all the right of first refusal before buying (they were not interested).

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by genrex

Does she still drive? Maybe she can trade it in for a good car of lesser value, and get some cash back.

__

She has 2 other cars. A beautiful BMW 2002, and a Toyota truck. She's keeping both.

[HardDrive]

I understand everyones concerns. I will not insert myself into her affairs. I certainly won't be handling any money.

But I am going to help her find and attorney, and I am going to help her sell her car. If that comes back to bite me, thats fine. The thought of not doing something because of others suspicions sickens me.

[Cajundaddy]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

I understand everyones concerns. I will not insert myself into her affairs. I certainly won't be handling any money.

But I am going to help her find and attorney, and I am going to help her sell her car. If that comes back to bite me, thats fine. The thought of not doing something because of others suspicions sickens me.

Understood. Bad stuff happens in situations like this so the sooner you get her legal help and get out of the middle, the better for all. Spending $30K out of your own pocket, in legal fees defending yourself for "helping" is pretty sickening as well.

[romad]

its been said.... now do what we are telling you.....you have no responsibility or authority here....of all the scenarios very few turn out good for you.

Its because we love you man

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

I understand everyones concerns. I will not insert myself into her affairs. I certainly won't be handling any money.

But I am going to help her find and attorney, and I am going to help her sell her car. If that comes back to bite me, thats fine. The thought of not doing something because of others suspicions sickens me.

You are a good man.

We'd all be in a better place if people could just do the right thing without having to worry about it.

Thanks for helping.