Mother says puppy will be taken away if my Son sees me again.

[mikeesik]

Hello.
Im going through an awful so far 8.5 year Divorce.
I tell you, Charles Ingalls cannot do better than I as a Father.
I have not had my Son come over on our court alloted time visit for weeks now.
How I miss him.
If my x2b doesnt get him or bring him here, I cannot do anything about it. It is not police
enforceable...-like that ever mattered when it was!
Anyway,I have been crushed because I have not seen him for some time.
He came by on Thursday on his bike to let me know whats going on.
He was in tears and sobbing.
He kept looking behind him on his bike while visiting me. so afraid his mother would follow and see him.

His mother bought him a puppy. If there was any boy that wanted a puppy on this planet it was my Boy, especially a Siberian Husky.

I couldnt do that for him. He already has two great cats. A rabbit. Two Frogs.

A Dog is a huge responsibility and I've always told him not until we have our own home.
He said that his mother also got him an iphone and his uncle bought him a polaris Ranger dune buggy.
The conditions were..if he sees me again and comes over the Dog will be taken away. The rest will follow.
I miss him so badly that I cant even explain.
I cry a few times a day.
I just wonder how my Son survives? !
We were closer than close.
I do not want to do anything that wil make his mother remove Simons Dog.
I know this Dog,Buddy is so good for him BUT on the otherhand, with me his Father out of the picture.....what is it all worth!!!!
Damn it!

[Jim Bremner]

Lawyer! Now! This is a BIG No-No on her part and can end up getting you custody.

Evil parents suck

[Cajundaddy]

Big bad father-advocate barracuda lawyer. The most expensive kind. When parents use the kid as a tool, it permanently damages the kid.

[cstreit]

Yes. lawyer now!

Hell if i were the judge id remove him from the custody of such a manipulative woman. Clearly she cares more about hurting you than she does about him.

Really sorry man. I hope you can make this right.

[Bill Douglas]

Woo, emotional blackmail on a little boy. She is in trouble for playing this sort of stunt. Hang in there Mike a lot of people care about you.

[porsche4life]

Use your motorcycle money on a lawyer. You will be happier with the boy than motorcycle.

[wdfifteen]

A friend just went through this.
If you have court appointed visitation, she can't take it away so arbitrarily.
Lawyer up. Start keeping a log of when you see him and the circumstances. If you don't see him on your court appointed time record why.

[IROC]

One thing that I think is relevant is that kids are a lot more aware of what is going on that most adults give them credit for. I bet your boy sees through the behavior of your soon-to-be ex (8.5 year divorce?!?). If he's old enough to have an iPhone and a dune buggy, he's old enough to see what's going on. Take the high road (when it applies to your interactions with him), but play hardball with the ex. Stand up for your rights to see him, etc. but don't use him as a pawn (like your insignificant other). That is what he's going to take away from all of this.

BTDT, BTW.

[KFC911]

+1 IROC...I have no personal experience whatsoever, but "kid's KNOW". Good luck Mike...it sucks now, but you and your son will have a bond like you won't believe and will get through this...be well!

[johnco]

I went thru the same thing with my daughter. police said it's a civil matter. child protection said they could arrest me if I didn't pay my child support but could do nothing about visitation. lawyer said he could take her to court but she would only get a warning, I'd get visitation again until she held my daughter from me again and I'd have to take her back to court.. and again.. and again.. I'd go months without seeing my daughter.. that changed to once a year.. then once every couple years.. now in her 20's, daughter moved from Texas back here to be by me and doesn't even answer her mother's phone calls. I have her now but missed out on most her life before. fathers have very few rights unless they can afford to have them enforced.... again and again

[Hard-Deck]

I feel so bad for you. Get a lawyer, your son needs help.

[cairns]

I went through this as a kid and still remember it. Parents divorced when I was 6, little brother was 4. If it's any help it didn't scar me and I love both my parents and know they're just human and made mistakes they later regretted.

But get the lawyer anyway- neither you or your son should have to go through this crap.

[jwasbury]

Originally Posted by johnco

fathers have very few rights unless they can afford to have them enforced.... again and again

^this

Its easy to just say "lawyer up" when its not your money. Unfortunately, unless the mother is a crack whore (and getting arrested for it repeatedly) the court ordered visitation will be difficult to enforce, and custody will likely remain with the mother. I've watched this exact situation for years with a good friend who only wants to be a part of his kids lives. He has invested tens of thousands of $ on motions and court battles just to enforce the visitation that was agreed. His x has acted like a complete psycho, been evicted from multiple apartments, dragged the kids from place to place (changing school districts multiple times). As part of the legal battles, both he and the x submitted to professional parenting evaluations. My friend now has a professional opinion that his x's behavior is damaging to the kids, but the bull$hit still continues. Bottom line is that in absence of any real criminal activity, your laywer money won't amount to much more than a slap on the wrist.

Mike, your x2b is doing something called 'alienation.' Very difficult situation. Good luck.

[wdfifteen]

I wouldn't let John's experience dissuade you from contacting a lawyer or two.

My friend's situation, her 7 year old son is sick with cancer. She spends 24/7 with the kid. He's hooked up to a 15 pound backpack with a pump and tubes and all manner of stuff, plus she has their two other boys to take care of. She needed the visitation arrangements changed. Went to a lawyer who said can't be done, not worth it, etc etc. Went to another one who took the father to court and got her full custody of the children while father ended up with supervised visitation every other week. A key was she had months of schedules showing exactly when he had the boys, when he was at the hospital, the times she was transporting the boy, etc.

Dumbazz father filed to have his child support lowered - while his son is sick with cancer. Her lawyer said judge was so pissed she would have thrown him in jail if she could have. All she could do was have whoever is in charge making the calculations of who pays what give them another look. They looked. His child support raised from $680/month to $1080.

[Head416]

I know a guy that would call the cops when the mom refused to let him take the kid for court appointed visitation, they couldn't do anything but then he had a record of the event, then his lawyer reported her actions to the judge. Judges tend to get pissed off when people don't obey them. He's had consistent visitation for years now, after about a year of none before reporting the lack of visitation to the court.

DON'T EVER GIVE HER ANYTHING SHE CAN USE AGAINST YOU. Don't do something stupid like take him out of school for an unscheduled visit. Then you'll have her accusing you of kidnapping. Long term is what matters most.

[crustychief]

Sorry to hear about your situation. When I got my divorce I recorded every visit. I had custody of my kids though, the x-wife was a no show on a lot of her scheduled visits. I would look into getting a lawyer to resolve this.

[flatbutt]

Yes, lawyer now. My ex did this too. My son was old enough to see through it but my daughter wasn't. My son and I are tight. My daughter and I still try but she just doesn't feel the need. She's 30 now and does care about us but I'm the last one to know anything, the last one to be thought of when it comes to family stuff. I see her maybe 4 or 5 times a year though, so thats better. But she sees her Mom every week.

Lawyer now!

[sammyg2]

And they said OJ was a bad guy.
Go figure.

[bell]

8.5 years is WAY too long to be going thought that.........

[recycled sixtie]

You have my sympathy Mike. Tough situation. I would be inclined to say to her that if you do not get visits with your son then you will have to hire a lawyer. She may cave into this and that way it does not cost any money. If she does not accept this then go ahead and hire the lawyer. Tell her that if she does not play fair then it will cost her big $$$....