People are stupid...

[sc_rufctr]

About 15 years ago I travelled interstate to visit a friend (girl). We've been close since our Army days and have always stayed in touch.

She had married this "Yobbo" (Aussie Redneck) about 20 years ago. He's always been rude, negative and obnoxious and she just puts up with it.
Not my business but when I was visiting he made it very clear I wasn't welcome in "his" home.
(Which my friend paid for with her property settlement after she divorced her first husband)

Fast forward to today... He contacts me via Facebook. He wants to talk so I call him and he's balling his eyes out because his daughter (42) has cancer and she's close to death.
His wife (my friend) has travelled to Melbourne to support his daughter in hospital so he's stuck in NSWs on his own.

I barely know this guy and apparently I'm the only person he can think of to talk.

[tabs]

Jealousy

[Bill Douglas]

He wants money.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by tabs

Jealousy

I get that but why is he calling me?

As stated I barely know this guy. The last time we spoke was 15 years ago.

[recycled sixtie]

He probably has few friends if any. Don't give him any money but if you want to listen and talk to him fine. Take the high road. I don't see any problem with taking this approach.
Guy

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

He probably has few friends if any. Don't give him any money but if you want to listen and talk to him fine. Take the high road. I don't see any problem with taking this approach.
Guy

That's the first thing I thought. Pretty sad really.

I think he just wanted someone to listen to him. The whole thing is just so "left field".

[zelrik911]

Is he estranged from his daughter too?
I would have thought he would go to see his dying daughter, unless he is immobile himself.

Was he talking about non PBS drug treatment? A friends wife has recently passed after he paid out for 2 $90K courses of non-PBS drugs. This helped for a short time but really just postponed the inevitable.

I suppose it cant be too bad to talk a bit with him, if no $ are involved, after all 'misery needs company'. Do it for your friends sake.

[sc_rufctr]

There's no money involved.

He told me he couldn't go and see his daughter because someone has to feed and look after the animals on their smallish property. (about 15 acres)

[KFC911]

Weird all the way around. Whatever his motivation, no good can come from this and if you enter into the weirdness, then I'd bet "no good deed goes unpunished". But you're sharp and already know that. I'd listen to the guy if he's desperate though (and he is)...

I'd "want" to contact my old friend to get her version, but no (that'd surely backfire)....

Good luck!

[zelrik911]

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

There's no money involved.

He told me he couldn't go and see his daughter because someone has to feed and look after the animals on their smallish property. (about 15 acres)

Perhaps he thinks - well your retired with time on your hands - so maybe you can go look after his animals for a short time?

[masraum]

Very weird. But, I suspect he's going through a ton of stress. In those situations, people do odd things. Who knows what's actually going through this guys head. It may be that since you are close to his wife that gives you a connection to the family that others don't have.

Hopefully, you can contact your friend. She may appreciate hearing from you.

[cashflyer]

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

His wife (my friend) has travelled to Melbourne to support his daughter in hospital so he's stuck in NSWs on his own.

I barely know this guy and apparently I'm the only person he can think of to talk.

It's bait.
He's telling you to see what you will do, and what she will do when you contact her.

[lsf911]

At first I thought the same thing as recycled sixtie, the guy has no friends and needed to vent. But after reading zelrik911's post I have changed my mind. Maybe he is reaching out to you to take care of the animals so he can go see his daughter but he is afraid to ask. He is waiting for you to offer. Maybe your friend put him up to it.

Short of that, it makes no sense.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

It's bait.
He's telling you to see what you will do, and what she will do when you contact her.

Perhaps the friend has been saying your name in her sleep! I think just stay away but listen to him on the phone. You don't say if you have a wife or gf living with you. If you do then try running this by your wife/gf.

This yobbo as you call him could be unpredictable at this point. For your own health and safety I would stay away.....

[dan88911]

My 2 cent:
What masraum said,"It may be that since you are close to his wife that gives you a connection to the family that others don't have."

Then tell him what you said above, "when I was visiting he made it very clear I wasn't welcome in "his" home."
Followed with hey dude it sames odd you are reaching out to me.
See how he responds.
This way you are being up front. And tell him you don't hold grudge.

[Por_sha911]

Under stress, people will grasp at any source of help even if it is not logical.

He may be a bozo but if he is genuinely hurting and needing someone to talk to then take the high road and let him talk. If he starts asking for stuff then politely say no.

I think it is wrong to lead off by reminding him of what he said at a time like this. That is merely vindictive and cheap shot when someone is down. You can decline to help without lowering yourself to his level.