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non-whiner
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Slightly right of center
Posts: 5,235
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A man called Andrew
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Andrew."
Cabbie: "Who?" Passenger: "Andrew Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like your coming along when I needed a cab, things happen like that to Andrew Sullivan, every single time." Cabbie: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Passenger: "Not Andrew Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Cabbie: "Sounds like he was something really special." Passenger: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Andrew Sullivan, he could do everything right." Cabbie: "Wow. Some guy then." Passenger: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Andrew, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Andrew Sullivan." Cabbie: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Passenger: "Well, I never actually met Andrew. He died. I'm married to his widow!" |
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: los angeles, CA.
Posts: 41,257
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I'm here all week...tip your waitress!
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