Phone sex!

[Mo_Gearhead]

I'm doing some work in our master bath and needed some Platinum colored caulking. The local stores do not carry any specialty colors, so a week ago, while in the city, I stopped at a carpet/tile store and even they had to order it. The lady said she could have it in two/three days.

Last Friday I get this message on my machine:

"Yes Mr. (X), this is Sheryl at (ABC) Tile and Carpet. We now have your caulk. You may pick it up at your convenience. Thank you."

On Tuesday I get this message:

"Yes, Mr. (X), this is Sheryl at (ABC) Tile and Carpet. I think I left you a previous message but I just wanted to confirm that I have your caulk in now. Thank you."

What my wife and I laughed about for four days is the woman's accent and lack of clear enunciation. The recorded word 'caulk' sounds exactly like something else.

My wife went to the city alone yesterday, but alas she could not confront Sheryl. She said two men were at the counter when she told one, with the same lack of clear enunciation as Sheryl,: "I understand you have my husband's caulk.." (extended pause, blank looks) "...that he ordered?"

Oh sweet Sheryl - I listen to your voice mail and I imagine the possibilities...

[GH85Carrera]

Hopefully you still have your Caluk gun at home.

[Steve Carlton]

ABC carries good caulk.

[widgeon13]

Make sure to use it before it gets hard!

[Aragorn]

Had a lady at the hardware store tell me that to get a good finish on a caulk job required a little lubricant on your fingers and even but firm pressure. I asked her if she wouldn't mind showing me how she did it...

[craigster59]

Yeah, accents can change everything!

[Bill Douglas]

Ah, Australians trying to wind us up because we beat them at rugby.

[fastfredracing]

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

Ah, Australians trying to wind us up because we beat them at rugby.

You ALWAYS beat us

[rsNINESOOPER]

One of my all time favorite job site stories originates around tubes of caulk and a girl who had just started out in one of the most predominantly male occupied fields.

A girl we will call Mary was two weeks into working for Kevin, a general contractor I know when some of the boys on the job site thought it would be hilarious to send her to the yard for the first time on a comedy errand. The instructions were simple.....

guys- "Hey Mary, we need you to run down to the yard and pick up two large black
caulks for the guy doing the flashing work.

Mary- "Sure, where is the yard and where will I find it"

guys- The guys gave her the directions and even wrote out verbatim what was
needed.

Mary- Mary shows up at the yard and goes to the desk inside to inquire about her
needs.

Brent and Marvin are two large trucker mouthed roughneck bored guys perched on
stools behind the counter waiting for something to happen during
the slow part of the day. They relish silver platter moments.

Mary- Offers a hello, says she works for Kevin and then gets out her scrap of paper
with the instructions on it to be sure to get the details right and then asks
both Brent and Marvin-

"I need two big black caulks" It was at this point Mary realized her mistake

Brent and Marvin took one look at each other and then promptly disappeared behind the counter laying on the ground and gasping for air with barely a sound coming out other then the clatter of tipped over stools being kicked by flailing feet. Laughing hysterically the two re emerged from behind the counter and Marvin called Kevin who was Marys boss and tried in vain to speak to him, finally only getting out "two black cocks" and then hanging up.

Mary just stood there not too sure what to do and apologized to the two African American guys about how Kevin probably did not actually need the caulk she had come for. She negated to finish reading the note which said "make sure you ask for the kind that goes in the back". That day Mary learned to enunciate the word caulk very clearly from that point on. After a few months on the job Mary could make Brent and Marvin blush with embarrassment and dish out job site banter like no other.

Mary and I are close friends and still laugh about that incident. If I mention it to Marvin who still works at the yard it will make him start laughing and then he will usually tell whoever is in the vicinity about the day Mary came in for the first time.

Kevin also sent a new recruit green horn on a comedy errand while on a job in San Francisco. He sent him to "Steamworks" to pick up 12'' of hard pipe so a radiator return line could be repaired.

Poor kid actually went all the way into "Steamworks" (a gay bathhouse), walked up to the counter and asked for 12" of hard pipe. Kevin had him on speaker phone when he called to tell him he thought he might not be at the right place.