Returning To Workforce After Raising Kids?

[jyl]

I'd appreciate some thoughts, advice, ideas, etc on this.

When we started having kids, my wife became a full time mom. Now our kids are teenagers and she wants to get back into the working world. After being away so long, she doesn't have a sense of how or where to start. She wants to get out and be working with people (adult interaction, etc).

She has a couple of professional degrees (JD and MBA) but hasn't used either in over 15 years, and isn't a licensed lawyer in the state where we live. She is active in the kids' schools with organizing and running events (markets, auctions, fundraisers). She presents well, is articulate, sociable, etc. Everyone thinks her aesthetic skills are great (decorator, arranger, artist) and she uses them in the events.

Have you or your spouse, friends, family etc made such a transition? Do you have any tips or thoughts? Thanks.

[Hugh R]

My wife quit being a Controller at May Co. (now part of Macy's) when our 1st kid was born, she took a 1/2 day job administering a church pre-school which the kids went to. When they went to school she stayed on the 1/2 day schedule so that she would be home when they got out of school.

When they left High School she worked as an Admin in the local school district until she tooks the Certified Business Offical (the CA school equivalent to a CPA, every school district in CA is supposed to have one). Now she is Assistant Superintendent at a small (5,000 student) school district nearby. She and I both have MBAs, we met in graduate school.

Tell your wife to consider part time in an accounting firm, law office, etc. and then move from there. In this economy, I think employers would look favorably at someone with degrees and some experience even if she's been out of the workforce for 15 years.

[McLovin]

My wife did. She was an elementary school teacher. When our kids were born she stayed home. As they got to high school age, she started subbing here and there. She works in the front office at the school now doing admin things. In the next 2-3 years when the kids are gone she'll go back to full time teaching. These are all hard jobs to get in our area, but she has always maintained her contacts and like your wife she is very personable and people like her.

As for tips or thoughts, I think it depends on why she's going back to work. If it's because of the money, or to pursue something interesting, etc. Hopefully she can find something she likes to do.

As far as the degrees, I think it's pretty tough for an unused 15 year JD to find relevant work these days. The legal field has changed and contracted quite a bit in the past 10 years. The MBA might be easier.

All in all, I'd say a good avenue for her would be to start putting feelers out among her friends and contacts she's made in running school events, etc. over the years. IMO that's much better than "cold" searches like answering ads, sending out resumes, etc.

[look 171]

YOur wife and mine must be sisters. Our kids are 6 and 8, so we have a long way to go. decorator arranger and artist type work are driving me nuts. she's too involve. Sorry, had to ask and get that one out.

She made some noise about going back to work when the little one is in his Jr or senior year in HS. SHe hasn't worked in more then 10 years, and are really worry about entering the work force after being out of work for over 20 years. How does one compete with the younger kids. I suggested that she get a part time job with the front office or the school district and move into some type of planning job which she likes. This is now real work, and it might become "no fun" and stressful. I am not sure how she will handle that after being away form a really stressful environment she was in. No not her previous job, that would be me.

[stomachmonkey]

Best thing my wife did for herself when the kids were old enough was go back to work.

Gave her a purpose again. Not having anything constructive to do was detrimental to her sense of self worth.

Now having said that she did initially not want to go back to teaching and was also thinking the decorator route. But honestly, so do a lot of stay at home moms who suddenly find themselves with a lot of free time when the kids are in school.

Seems like a great gig, no start up cost, I've got great taste, I get to shop and spend money......

Not so easy to find A list clientele with money to spend.

We have a few in our circle who do it professionally. It's more about having something to do than making money because the money is almost not worth it. Their biggest gripe is the clients dictate when they can meet so it ends up being a lot of inconvenient times.

So depends on what she is looking to get out of it.

But I say go for it, what's she got to lose.

[Rot 911]

What does she want to do? Need to figure that out first before you try and figure out how to do it.

[Seahawk]

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao-tzu had it right.

I have to ask: What does she want to do?

With her degrees, I am sure she could start at any number of places part time. My company really worked the "two mommy" approach: One Mom in the morning, a second working the afternoon. A lot of companies do this, at least here.

Did she work extensively before she had kids? Pulse the old girl network, she may be surprised at the contact list. College sorority? Ask as well.

My Mom had an English degree from Cal, married my Dad and began the stay a home routine, managing the ranchette, etc. She also volunteered a lot, was the Pres of the Local SPCA, Head of the Southern Cal Pony Club, etc. When I, the last of the lot, got to High School, she got her Real Estate License and did very well: Nothing to do with Chaucer, but he wasn't hiring.

Take the step.

[futuresoptions]

Not trying to be funny, but I don't see why you are not running a 5 star restaurant up there...

[Don Plumley]

My wife made an amazing transition back into the workforce after raising our kids. As our first was born, she was a stockbroker. Ended up hating the job/industry. After our youngest started driving, she started looking for something to do. Being involved in school, and in particular her role running the huge fundraising event for the school was a big part of the resume. As she puts it, he paid some penance working for a non-profit credit counseling company (her BS is in Econ) to get into the workforce, and then segued into the wine industry where both our passions are. She now helps run the consumer marketing program and works in a tasting room at a nice winery - good training for the day our winery can be a full time gig. Her commute sucks a bit, but she notes that I had plenty worse for the years I took care of the family. I'm so impressed by what she did - landing her first job in the middle of the recession.

[jyl]

Thanks, guys, for your thoughts. I haven't been ignoring this thread, I've been thinking pretty hard about the ideas and experiences posted by everyone.

What does she want to do? That is the $64K question, isn't it? She is a skilled potter and could certainly make and sell her pieces, but that wouldn't really get her out and interacting, it would be more solitary work. She is good at organizing events, for example she put together and for years ran the annual holiday market for the kids' school with dozens of well-selected vendors, kept all the vendors and customers happy, not sure exactly what job that correlates with. She could do front-office stuff, administrative assistant and so on, I'm not sure how much she'd like it and I suppose it would depend a lot on the office. She'd be very good at certain kinds of retail, there is that aesthetic/decorating thing going on, plenty of people interaction potential but it seems like more of a young person's game.

I'm going to rack my brain some more.

[weseeeee]

When our kids were about 5 and 9 my wife took a part time job just to have adult time. She worked because she wanted to not because she had to and it showed in her attitude and workmanship. She just completed her 18 year, still part time 16-24 hours a week and she still loves it. Good luck, and don't blink or you'll be driving to drop your kids off at college

[cstreit]

If she is doing this for the interactions and not the money, then I suggest starting with something she likes. if shesworried about competing, i would bet that lovi g your job and not having the overwhelming pressure of income makes her a valued asset.

[jyl]

What did/does she do?

When our kids were about 5 and 9 my wife took a part time job just to have adult time. She worked because she wanted to not because she had to and it showed in her attitude and workmanship. She just completed her 18 year, still part time 16-24 hours a week and she still loves it. Good luck, and don't blink or you'll be driving to drop your kids off at college

[aigel]

I know it is too late for your's JYL, and may not be applicable for every profession, but it really helps to keep a foot in the door via a part time / relief job. Volunteering is ok, but often does not demand the same "on the job" skills, i.e. in computing or with specific equipment, if applicable. That's what my better half has been doing, and she can turn it on full time any time, as she's already working at places in her industry. This is also good for back up, in case my career goes sideways.

That said, one thing nobody mentioned for your wife JYL is starting her own business. She could get into event organization, personal assistant (household), house sitting, catering etc. Wedding seem to be big too ...

HTH, it is a nice phase in our lives when the kids become more independent and we can go back doing more of our stuff.

G

[jyl]

Can't really be a part time lawyer, not with the flexibility she needed when the kids were little. Another problem is that you have to take the bar in each state that you move to.

[aigel]

Indeed, that's why I said it isn't applicable to every profession. There isn't 24h work for lawyers either, where they could do an evening shift, when the spouse is home with the kids.

So, any interest in starting a business? May have the big advantages of being one's own boss and flexible on work load.

G

[Esel Mann]

Originally Posted by jyl

She is a skilled potter and could certainly make and sell her pieces, but that wouldn't really get her out and interacting, it would be more solitary work.

Perhaps artisans on the west coast are different than the east coast? That or there are givens for which you/she have not presented. From what I've observed, artisans here on the east coast get out and interact as a means to sell their art. Lots of adult interaction. Of course this is presuming that such is even an interest of hers.

You are also not clear if her re-entering the workforce would be a necessary income for you. This is important because depending upon how she answers one can then understand which part of the decision tree to address.

[jyl]

I think she wants to make money at some level, enough that she feels she's not wasting her time, or essentially just volunteering. But no, it doesn't have to be a substantial, self-supporting kind of income. I know, that's kind of vague.

Start own biz - maybe, we haven't tossed that around yet.

[Esel Mann]

Starting her own business should certainly be in the mix based upon the givens; or finding someone who needs a partner in a business already established/just starting up if any is palatable to her. Though I will say, income, at least to start may be sketchy at best. It may even be necessary to pony up some dough to "buy-in".

Something completely off the wall: There are companies which are sub'd to handle various aspects of our national parks. They prefer to hire the mature crowd. Also there are other companies which prefer the mature crowd as well, for example: winerys, specialty agriculture, etc. You'll make enough dough to cover expenses plus some play dough. You, the sugar daddy, will cover the homefront. Interaction with lots of folks is a given!

If she wants to stay in the legal arena, I dare say there are folks on this board who may offer ideas for a non-traditional approach to getting back in the game. For example, I presume she has healthcare via you? This can be attractive to some prospective employers (please folks don't parf this). Additionally someone who can and is willing to work as support (instead of being competitive for the spotlight) can be attractive I would venture a guess.

Contracting/temp work. Contact various agencies, explain the scenario. She may be surprised of the possibilities there.

Can't say the above are slam dunk solution, but hopefully the above generates some angles or ideas. Best wishes to her search!!!