Women, "mid life crisis" and any possible therapy

[McLovin]

"Mid life crisis" is normally associated with men - the red sports car, affairs, ponytail and earring (or was that only a '90s one?), etc.

But some women experience it, too. And, if you think about the natural, ummm, "hormonal imbalances" that most women tend to suffer from at least to some extent, there is the potential there for some real drama.

Now, I think most people go through at least some kind of "mid life introspection" in their 40s. It seems like an introspective time when people take some assessment of their life, what they've done, where they are going, etc.

I did, when I was in my early/mid 40s. My biggest issue, I think, was career related. I went to a Ivy League school and many of my very close school friends are now Wall Street rock stars, captains of industries, very high and prestigious political appointees, etc. I have been successful, but you generally don't see me on the news and I don't make $1 million+ a year like many of my friends.

In some ways, in my early mid 40s it bothered me, but I got over it pretty quickly. My conclusion was that my life is pretty good, and it would be silly to complain or feel dissatisfied. There's something to be said for relatively stress free living (and, all of my friends have tremendous stress maintaining their careers and lifestyles), I suffered a decade of high stress/high pay work in my 20s and 30s and found it not worth it.

Women, though, have other issues in their 40s. A big one seems to be as the kids start entering late high school age and are getting close to leaving the house, esp. for stay at home or part time work moms. As a man, I don't fully understand it. Because being a stay at home mom in a very financially secure household seems like a pretty sweet gig to me. But I'm not a woman, so I can't really know that perspective.

Anyone have a spouse that has gone through it? What ultimately happened, and how long did it take?

[GWN7]

They locked her up for 10 days of psych evaluation then let her go. That was 4 years ago, she's still nuts.

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by McLovin

Because being a stay at home mom in a very financially secure household seems like a pretty sweet gig to me. But I'm not a woman, so I can't really know that perspective.

I was a stay at home dad for 3 years. My wife is a director in a major hospital, and she brought home plenty for both of us.

Being the 'stay at home' parent is hard as hell in many ways you can't see. Its damn hard work, and there isn't the same sort of positive feedback that you get when you are working hard in an employment situation. Its a million little victories as opposed to major achievements that someone can write up in a news letter. After spending the better part of 2 decades focused on your kids, it must be very difficult to watch that world slowly disappear. Even if your kids are nice, they are off having their own lives, and can't really know what you went through raising them.....until of course they raise their own.

[Noah930]

HD: I don't think the OP is saying it (stay-at-home mom) isn't hard work. But how does that lead to a mid-life crisis? Seeing your kids go off with a good head on their shoulders has to be one of the most rewarding things in life, no?

[Jim Richards]

Yeah, but then what?

[matt711]

Not for my wife it won't be.... She is already dredding their departure and the oldest is only 13 years old. She has been mollified somewhat by the suprise baby that she is now pregnant with. Empty Nest is a term that gives her anxiety.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Just my perspective watching my wife who is a stay at home mom - the kids become her purpose in life, her accomplishment, basically everything. So after 18+ years pouring everything into them, suddenly it's all GONE. Much like many of us who take pride in a career, work your way up the ladder, make a positive impact to your employer or industry........what if that all just went away tomorrow? Much like people who retire with no hobbies to occupy their time, I think it just leaves a huge gaping void in their lives. I encourage my wife to go out and do fun stuff, hang out with friends, etc because someday she's going to need some help filling that void. I also hope that when our kids (3/6/9) are all in school she will go back to working part time, to help give her another purpose beyond kids.

[FLYGEEZER]

Don't know what to tell ya Jim. The just go that way. Thats why us old guys have dogs & bad habits.

[berettafan]

*****es be crazy.

It really is that simple.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by matt711

Not for my wife it won't be.... She is already dredding their departure and the oldest is only 13 years old. She has been mollified somewhat by the suprise baby that she is now pregnant with. Empty Nest is a term that gives her anxiety.

Congrats to matt & mrs matt!

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

....what if that all just went away tomorrow?

Woo hoo!!!

Time to do all the stuff I always wanted to do, but never had the time to do! Well, as long as I'm still limber enough to do it.

[fintstone]

Hire a young, good-looking pool boy...and her mood will pick up quickly.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Hire a young, good-looking pool boy...and her mood will pick up quickly.

Is this because a younger guy will make the pool really sparkly?

I guess I am not understanding.

My wife always insists on tall, bronzed under thirty Latin fellows to clean our pool. I am thinking my one eyed pal, old fat Eddy, cleans the pools the best.

Hey, She's the boss.

She seems pretty upbeat.

[pc100porsche]

Hmmm .. midlife crisis .. isn't that when you get a New Turbo and she gets a New Puppy ?

[Cajundaddy]

They just need sex... tons of sex. Over and over and over again.

[legion]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Hire a young, good-looking pool boy...and her mood will pick up quickly.

Like in Extract?

[legion]

Let's see...when my mom went through "the change", she divorced my dad, bought a horse, and ran off with a felon on parole.

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by legion

Let's see...when my mom went through "the change", she divorced my dad, bought a horse, and ran off with a felon on parole.

Well that sounds promising.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Quote de matt711

Not for my wife it won't be.... She is already dredding their departure and the oldest is only 13 years old. She has been mollified somewhat by the suprise baby that she is now pregnant with. Empty Nest is a term that gives her anxiety.

Congrats to matt & mrs matt!

Quote de onewhippedpuppy

....what if that all just went away tomorrow?

Woo hoo!!!



Time to do all the stuff I always wanted to do, but never had the time to do! Well, as long as I'm still limber enough to do it.

Two chicks at the same time?

[M.D. Holloway]

Mine didn't go so much crazy as she went blind...now that really f***'d up her head.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Just my perspective watching my wife who is a stay at home mom - the kids become her purpose in life, her accomplishment, basically everything. So after 18+ years pouring everything into them, suddenly it's all GONE. Much like many of us who take pride in a career, work your way up the ladder, make a positive impact to your employer or industry........what if that all just went away tomorrow?

I watched that happen to a friend. I had no way to help her and she was never really happy until her grandchild was born. She was such a helicopter that the grandson's mother eventually chased her away. Sad all around.

For me, a long legged blonde with a pound of coke in a red Ferrari sounded enticing, but so cliche - beside not being my style. I did have some good insanely expensive times, but the most irresponsible was buying a 1925 Caterpillar 60 with a dozer blade and ripping the hell out of a 60 acre of soybean field, just because I could.