My girlfriends' neighbor is disgusting

[herr_oberst]

Every night she hears him come home. He barges into his apartment, slams the door, takes a long, noisy leak, then he turns on Fox news at top volume and rails loudly against the "goddam liberals'. He's only yelling to himself, though, because in the year and a half he's been here, she says she's never seen a visitor in his place.

He must fall asleep with the TV on, because she can hear it all night long, so she's taken to wearing earplugs at night. She's tried to talk to him about it when she sees him on the landing or in the parking lot, but he just grunts and gives her a surly load of snark.

The only good thing about all that noise is that we can ball like cats in heat - he can't possibly hear us over the TV. Oh, once in a great long while we notice that the TV is off and if he was a normal neighbor, this might be cause for a little bit of embarrassment, but we figure that with the racket she has to put up with, it's worth it to make him listen to us for a while - in fact we like to really embellish our passionate outbursts on those rare nights when it's quiet down there.

Childish fun, but fun nonetheless.

I hope he's not too angry.

[Jim Richards]

It's great that you and your GF can dial your romps up to 11. I'm sure it's great fun for you two. It sounds like the worst you can expect from her poor, miserable neighbor is that he'll take to some obscure internet forum and b___h about you two to anyone that'll bother reading his threads. I seriously doubt that he does something silly like buying a house and moving away. You two should be able to make passionate love at all hours of the day or night for years to come, while her neighbor continues to cook his brain watching FOX news. Enjoy!

[JJ 911SC]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

... and rails loudly against the "goddam liberals'. He's only yelling to himself, though, because in the year and a half he's been here, she says she's never seen a visitor in his place.

No... He is keeping his parent updated

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

Every night she hears him come home. He barges into his apartment, slams the door, takes a long, noisy leak, then he turns on Fox news at top volume and rails loudly against the "goddam liberals'. He's only yelling to himself, though, because in the year and a half he's been here, she says she's never seen a visitor in his place.

I call BS. There are no people watching Fox in Portland....

[berettafan]

Dammit Jim I just deleted my post since it really belongs in PARF

[Jim Richards]

I did too!

[nzporsche944s2]

Herr - You really need to be careful of people out there. When I read your OP it immediately reminded me of this article that I read in the weekend...

Wannabe serial killer ends 'joyous' woman's life | Stuff.co.nz

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by red-beard

I call BS. There are no people watching Fox in Portland....

Busted! You saw right through my jape!

[RWebb]

Actually, there are both research and clinical psychologists in Portland who watch Fox (and the Fox-watchers) for a living.

maybe some parole officers too.

[slakjaw]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

Every night she hears him come home. He barges into his apartment, slams the door, takes a long, noisy leak, then he turns on Fox news at top volume and rails loudly against the "goddam liberals'. He's only yelling to himself, though, because in the year and a half he's been here, she says she's never seen a visitor in his place.

He must fall asleep with the TV on, because she can hear it all night long, so she's taken to wearing earplugs at night. She's tried to talk to him about it when she sees him on the landing or in the parking lot, but he just grunts and gives her a surly load of snark.

The only good thing about all that noise is that we can ball like cats in heat - he can't possibly hear us over the TV. Oh, once in a great long while we notice that the TV is off and if he was a normal neighbor, this might be cause for a little bit of embarrassment, but we figure that with the racket she has to put up with, it's worth it to make him listen to us for a while - in fact we like to really embellish our passionate outbursts on those rare nights when it's quiet down there.

Childish fun, but fun nonetheless.

I hope he's not too angry.

I appreciate you telling me this. It's not Fox News, for the past 2 weeks I have been editing an interview I shot of a Vietnam veteran telling his story in Adobe Premiere. The grumbling and cussing that you hear is my response to the masochistic nature of premiere.

your sex drive is kind of low. Maybe see a doctor about it. Also, put your dog on a diet bro. It is unhealthy. Obesity is the number 1 killer in America after all. And you know, I like bacon too but dude, 4 days a week?

I can't do it. I can't go on with it unless it's in parf.

[Shifter]

I am starting to have an uncomfortable feeling here. You don't live in SE, do you?

My upstairs neighbors make such a racket when I get home I have to put in earplugs and blast the tv. Sometime I get a bit tipsy, and call the neighbors the worst thing I can think of. I can't ever bring anyone over because of the noise!

Sometimes I leave the tv off to see if they have calmed down, but then they are worse! Sounds like a pair of elephants taking turns diving into a pool of chocolate pudding.

Occasionally I will see one of them outside the apartment, but I never know what to say, since other than the constant squelching coming from upstairs, they seem like the nicest pair of guys.

[rusnak]

Haha!

[atcjorg]

you live in Dana Point don't ya!

[slakjaw]

Originally Posted by Shifter

I am starting to have an uncomfortable feeling here. You don't live in SE, do you?

My upstairs neighbors make such a racket when I get home I have to put in earplugs and blast the tv. Sometime I get a bit tipsy, and call the neighbors the worst thing I can think of. I can't ever bring anyone over because of the noise!

Sometimes I leave the tv off to see if they have calmed down, but then they are worse! Sounds like a pair of elephants taking turns diving into a pool of chocolate pudding.

Occasionally I will see one of them outside the apartment, but I never know what to say, since other than the constant squelching coming from upstairs, they seem like the nicest pair of guys.

Not sure if you asking me but no I'm in little Canada.

[Shifter]

Originally Posted by slakjaw

Not sure if you asking me but no I'm in little Canada.

Naw, just poking fun at the OP.

[john70t]

slak, you got to find a screamer chubby.
Game on.

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by Shifter

I am starting to have an uncomfortable feeling here. You don't live in SE, do you?

My upstairs neighbors make such a racket when I get home I have to put in earplugs and blast the tv. Sometime I get a bit tipsy, and call the neighbors the worst thing I can think of. I can't ever bring anyone over because of the noise!

Sometimes I leave the tv off to see if they have calmed down, but then they are worse! Sounds like a pair of elephants taking turns diving into a pool of chocolate pudding.

Occasionally I will see one of them outside the apartment, but I never know what to say, since other than the constant squelching coming from upstairs, they seem like the nicest pair of guys.

Ha Ha! Good one! Funnier and more succinct than my poor attempt at humor! Well done!

[Rusty914s]

Can you hear him counting coins? Bet he's getting his house downpayment ready.