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-   -   What's it really like to be single? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/807405-whats-really-like-single.html)

cgarr 04-21-2014 01:15 PM

27 years this June, first and only til death at which point I'm would be single, no way would I try and start over at my age..but would be very sad to be alone but a new one aint going to fix that.

Gogar 04-21-2014 01:48 PM

I'm pretty sure a person can be very happy or completely miserable in any situation.

ramonesfreak 04-21-2014 02:03 PM

Single 13 years. I prefer being alone. Only regret is I have no kids.

Crowbob 04-21-2014 02:21 PM

I was married and happy.

Happy's better.

vash 04-21-2014 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowbob (Post 8026808)
I was married and happy.

Happy's better.


Haha. Gonna tell this to my wife!

No?


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

stealthn 04-21-2014 03:02 PM

Very happily married, I think Beldar said it best:

If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench would be great.

Noah930 04-21-2014 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowbob (Post 8026808)
I was married and happy.

Happy's better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vash (Post 8026858)
Haha. Gonna tell this to my wife!

No?


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

You do that, vash, and you might be striking out on that solo journey a little sooner than anticipated. :D

Aurel 04-21-2014 04:06 PM

Circumstances do not matter. Only perception of the situation does. Well, that is theory anyways...

Porsche-O-Phile 04-21-2014 04:24 PM

Single again after 15+ years if marriage. At first I pined for the security and normalcy I'd come to know. Now I realize I'd never go back. My S.O. wants me back in a big way (which I'm fine with) but I'd never be married again. Committed relationship? In love? Sure. Married? No effing way. There's no upside to it. Way too much liability. Think potential loss of income, property, freedom, happiness and the ability to ever retire if you get bit with an onerous alimony payment which I was able to avoid, but it scared the hell out of me realizing that at any time, anyone can - for any reason (or no reason) utterly destroy you and stick you in that situation even though you may have done absolutely nothing wrong. I'd never, ever advise marriage to anyone. No upside, lots of potential downside.

One doesn't need a label and he potential losses to have a happy and fulfilling relationship. It just doesn't matter anymore. I just thank god every day that I didn't get in a situation that cost me as much as it well could have and we were both reasonably amicable. Way too many horror stories out there and remember - men ALWAYS lose, it's just a question of how much.

flatbutt 04-21-2014 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie (Post 8026005)
This question has been lingering in my mind for a long time but I am not contemplating going this route except if I outlive my wife which is unlikely.

A) For those guys and gals that are single do you still feel the need to get married or live with someone full time? B) re you still looking for that perfect other person or C) are you happy to be by yourself and dip your feet into the ocean of friendship and love when the mood hits you?

As always signing off curious Guy.:)
PS Have a great day whatever your status.

A No...never
B No
C Yes

Porsche-O-Phile 04-21-2014 04:40 PM

What's it really like to be single?
 
Single again after 15+ years of marriage. At first I pined for the security and normalcy I'd come to know. Now I realize it might've been the best thing that ever happened to me and I'd never go back. My S.O. wants me back in a big way (which I'm fine with) but I'll never be married again - not to her and not to anyone else. I'll gladly spend my life with her though. Largely this is due to my belief that the institution of marriage is a failure. It has been corrupted and ruined by two things: our legal system and our culture of instant gratification / hedonism (i.e. "do whatever you feel like doing today and don't worry about the consequences or implications for others").

Do I believe in committed relationships? Absolutely. Being in love with someone? Sure. But "married"? No effing way. There's just no upside to it in our system. There's way too much liability (especially if you have testes and are a wage-earner). Consider the potential loss of income, property, freedom, happiness and even the ability to ever retire if you get hit with an onerous alimony payment (which I was able to avoid, but learning what could potentially happen scared the hell out of me). When one realizes that at any time, anyone can - for any reason (or no reason) utterly destroy you and stick you in that situation even though you may have done absolutely nothing wrong, it should make one question why they'd ever expose themselves to that.

Also, marriage has become so "throwaway" now that it really doesn't matter anyway. It's just a label that's supposed to mean "committed to another person for life", but it no longer does. "Till death do us part" now means "till boredom or inconvenience do us part". When we're encouraged to toss away marriages like old pairs of shoes ("divorce today - only $199!!!"), why bother? What matters isn't the label, but the level of commitment between two people, and one doesn't need a label or a bunch of pointless ceremony or ritual for that. Based on these simple realities, I'd never, ever advise marriage to anyone. There's simply no upside and lots of potential downside. There's no real point to it. When 2/3 of them fail anyway, why do we continue to prop up this institution and equate it with lifetime commitment? In reality and in practice, it means absolutely nothing (other than providing a mechanism to move money to caterers, bad DJs, floral arrangers, foofoo dressmakers and ultimately lawyers).

One doesn't need a label and the potential losses to have a happy and fulfilling relationship. It just doesn't matter anymore. I just thank god every day that I didn't get in a situation that cost me as much as it well could have and that we were both reasonably civil and amicable (we chose to not fight each other or get petty - rare).

There are WAY too many horror stories out there and remember, in our system men ALWAYS lose, it's just a question of how much. If the woman "goes b****" on you one morning and decides to ruin your life and make your it hell, you're dead - she can and the system will reward her for it. You will unquestionably lose your kids, your house, a good portion of your money, at least half of your property and quite possibly the ability to ever retire due to a court order to write her checks for the rest of your life that will likely exceed your SS / pension payouts during your so-called "golden years". This is exactly how my lawyer explained it and told me what to expect unless I was very lucky (thank god I was). Some might say "just get a prenup". Well if you need a pre-nup, I'd ask why you need a "nup" at all.

Had I known a lot of these things when I first got married, I never would have. Better late than never in terms of getting the knowledge to make an informed decision I suppose. At least it'll empower me to avoid making the same mistake twice.

vash 04-21-2014 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noah930 (Post 8026941)
You do that, vash, and you might be striking out on that solo journey a little sooner than anticipated. :D


I told her you said it. She likes you less now. Haha. Jk


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

dyount 04-21-2014 05:53 PM

Single and enjoy it. I have friends and dating/relationships when I want or not.

Wanna go fly fishing after work? Go drive the Pcar as far or fast as I'd like? Go to the mountains for a few days or a month?

With nobody to ask or say otherwise damn right I can do as I wish when I wish. My friends all think I'm such a catch , which may be, but I'm not a keeper. Catch and release :)

mikesride 04-21-2014 07:30 PM

Hmmmm....Is there a way to get the best of both worlds? I sure like the companionship but sometimes I long to be alone and somewhat less tied down feeling.

LakeCleElum 04-21-2014 07:38 PM

I was single from the age of 33 till age 42......Then, I realized I needed more supervision and someone to spend my money...........

rattlsnak 04-21-2014 08:03 PM

Filed for divorce today actually, after 15 years. I do envy all of you who have been happily married for so many years. I do like being married, just not to her anymore. Too many fights, etc.. Hope I'm not going to be single for too long but definitely not jumping into anything again!

A930Rocket 04-21-2014 08:16 PM

Married twenty-five years with two kids. First and last one I think.

SilberUrS6 04-21-2014 08:22 PM

I love my wife and kids. That said, if tomorrow I had no wife and kids, I'd be sad for a while, then move on. I'd not get married again, nor would I tie myself down in any way.

I'd live simply and be happy keeping all females at arm's length.

Bill Douglas 04-21-2014 11:06 PM

I've never been married. It was never planned to be this way, it just ended up this way.

Crowbob 04-22-2014 03:29 AM

Why are divorces so expensive?

Because they're worth it.


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