Why can't I relax?
 

I left the office early(noon) to go to my son's school for an event today. After it was done I took both of the kids home instead of leaving them to go to the sitter. I planned on going back to work once my wife got home.


The problem is that I worried about what was going on with my guys whilst at school. I left my work phone in the car just so I wouldn't be tempted to answer it.

I will have to play catch up tomorrow on the daily tasks that I didn't do this afternoon but I decided to not go back tonight after all. Right now, I am sitting by a fire with a coffee and my kids are playing but I am thinking about work already. WTH?!!!!!

I don't work weekends so that is good but I find myself getting wound up come Sunday night due to worrying work.

Anyone else have this problem and any suggestions on what to do?:(

In many respects you are not alone, Wayne.

I do my share of fretting over details and planning but I think that's in many cases why things get done the proper way.

Posting here was the first step - recognizing you sometimes get too stressed or "wound up".

Take some deep breaths and try to keep things in perspective.

That's my take anyway. There's more to life than just work (although work is a large part of it).

That's my definition of "fear of failure"
I am a few years from retirement and I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work.

For me, probably the best stress buster is exercise...on a daily basis. That get's rid of a lot of stress. 20-30 minutes a day of low-level strength and a little cardio on the bike for 1.5 miles worked very well.

Debt can also be a cloud over our lives...if your in debt, try to rid yourself off of it slowly but surely.

Also not regarding your kids...perfection is not required, just do your best, spend genuine quality time with them, and try not to micro-manage their lives. Once they have hit about 18-21 years old, the mold has pretty be set and cooled.

Good luck!:D

x2

Agree with this BIG TIME.

Thanks guys, as always.

I just spent a solid half hour on my drums and it felt great.

+3 My wife and I were both having significant work anxiety, to the point of seeing a therapist who recommended we make time for exercise. I put an elliptical machine and some basic gym equipment in the house. We get up 30 minutes early everyday to work-out. Worked miracles! We've lost weight, are sleeping better, and the anxiety is all but gone.

I dont know how old you are. The big things in life, and work, are all small. I just retired this year and I finally realized that everything in life is small. I hope you can get there soon, but if not, sit back and say at the end of end of the day, it's just dog food. Family first, as it should be. Don't stress things, they will all work out even though you think they won't. Its all small stuff.

Easier said then done. for those that worry and think of all the things that can go wrong is normal. You are being responsible for your job in hand. it normal to make sure thing go accordingly, but it takes work sometimes outside of the actual work itself. Especially for those who work for themselves.

Hell yeah I worry sick at times, but it all works out at then end because I really work at it to getting all the kinks out. Oh, I go and beat up myself on my bike once or twice a week. I am not sure if it helps, but when I am out killing my poor lungs pulling a long hill (I hate goddamn hills) I don't think about work at all. I really look forward to spending time with my boys, and when I do, those times are golden. gives mom a break too because she's tire of hanging with them all day long. I took some time off Tuesday to see Godzilla had a terrible dinner (a place which they love) with the both of them. what a blast. Too bad I was born good looking instead of rich. :D

I worry like hell and think about it all the time so my clients or home owners do not have to. We get things done on time, every time. This is why they call us.

I work in startups. The buck stops with me in a lot of important areas and work often is 24/7 or at least 12/7, so I am constantly plugged in. But being on the 3rd startup, you learn to both be responsible for your assignments but also not stressed out about it.

I do second exercise. I do make it a point to go do something most days especially when the going gets tough. A couple of drinks a few days a week also help. Just don't over-indulge.

I also agree with other posters that you need to work towards financial independence where you don't need that job so bad, that you'll be down and out if you lose it. Skip a new car, a vacation and new furniture her and there, and you'll get there sooner than you think. Sure, we can't all retire at 30, but you can set yourself up where you'd be fine for 2+ years without a job. It will make you a lot more relaxed than if you are fighting tooth and nail to keep a job. It also will keep you from being bullied at work by your colleagues and superiors. They can sense "desperate for a job" from 10 miles away and will take advantage of it.

HTH,

G

I know exactly what your mean. And I agree with the exercise advice.

Take it from someone who used to take work very seriously...its not the work, its something else in your life.

Exercise is one solution. But often it is just the fear of forgetting something important. I always have a bit of paper (no device!) to write down single-word-notes whenever I think about something workrelated at home. That makes it safe to rest the mind and it helps me a lot.

This is actually a great idea! I do the same. I often wake up at night finding solutions to work problems, and ruminating thoughts over issues prevents sleep. I now keep a pad and paper on my nightstand (no device!). When it happens I write it down. Knowing I won't forget by morning helps me go back to sleep very effectively.

I've felt the same since I graduated from school. 16 years in a high stress job has taken years off my life. The only day I don't think about work is Saturday. It's my strict rule. To relax I garden, play guitar, work on my car, go fishing and collect records. I also drink a ton and chain smoke. Not good. I envy those who enjoy their work life and don't face constant stress of missing a deadline or messing something up that results in clients leaving or fines, lawsuits etc.....most days I wish I could start life over knowing what I know now. You are not alone !!

+1. I work out every weekday, alternating between swimming and weight training.

I'm self employed and can control my workload and who I work for, but stressful situations can still come up.

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Some great advice and personal reflection(s) in this thread. I hope I can add to it.

Being passionate about work, wanting to get it right, reflecting and obsessing a bit, is normal in my mind and a sign that you enjoy what you do.

Learning to compartmentalize is a hard but essential trait. I dream about work at times, especially during tough periods or when important, critical tasks need to be completed for the eventual success of my company.

When I was managing billions of dollars a year in government funds, my wife would tell me that I'd go into a sort of trance on weekends, during down times and she knew I was pondering something I wanted accomplished by my staff next week.

Can't help it.

I do walk every morning or ride the exercise bike if the weather is inclement. If my wife has the time we walk together, take care of the horses and then get about a mile and a half in. We often talk about her work, the farm, plans, etc, but never my company...I am more comfortable listening to my wife when we walk.

If I am walking by myself, I simply can not not think about work, often solving a vexing problem on the go. I have taken to carrying my iPhone with me and recording thoughts as they come to me. I imagine I look like an old fool, but that has never stopped me.

All that said, try and find the right amount of down time to turn off the work noise for a bit. One of the reason I visit Pelican is that I can get away from work worry and think about certain threads and issues. That works for me.

One last piece of advice, something you may already do: Read great books. I find solace in reading the works of writers I respect and admire and my mind does truly focus on the efforts of the author, as they intended.

Stress and Anxiety about things Outside of your Control is wasted energy, pure and simple.