Why I hate visiting family

[stomachmonkey]

My father in law has hearing issues so the TV is always loud and when he's not playing golf he records all kinds of stuff he insists we must watch.

Good thing he's got hearing issues because my mother in laws normal conversation level is a decibel below a Metallica show and she slams everything. Cabinet doors, room doors, dishes, pots n pans.

Sounds like a chuck wagon rolling down a cliff.

Been here less than 24 hours and my nerves are already shot.

[Baz]

Ugh! I can relate.

I despise noisy humans.

My neighbors are drinkers and smokers and her voice is so grating and she laughs like a macaw and is always in a great mood yelling out at everyone as they go by our road. Think Fran Dresher laugh.

I'm on the barrier island north end - a nice area - you just can't escape hillbilly behaviour!

[vash]

My mom is losing her hearing. I had to make a vow with myself to not lose patience. It's a challenge. So far I'm good.

Phone calls are a good time.


Typos and bad grammar sponsored by iPhone!

[jcommin]

You will get old someday too!

My family on my dad's side has/had hearing issues. His mother went deaf from industrial noise, my father lost his hearing due to industrial noise, I have hearing loss from chronic ear infections and sinus problems and my oldest boy had hearing issues as a young child. Age is cruel, the body isn't perfect.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Baz

I despise noisy humans.

I have sensory issues.

Loud sharp noises make me tense up. Bright lights stress me, I hate overhead lighting, prefer indirect diffused lighting.

Even clothes shopping. I shop by feel. If I like the way the material feels then I'll try it on to see how it drapes on / fits to my body. Even if it fits right I'll go through rotations of clothing all with a similar fit then one day wake up and hate how it feels and rotate through a different set of clothing till that set becomes uncomfortable.

It makes my wife crazy.

[island911]

Yeah, but you've a beautiful wife from them. ...beautiful children. ...who will one day marry, maybe visit, where their spouses cringe when you fire up that loud old car, that ya won't stop yammer'n about.

[Gogar]

Get him a headphone setup for his TV! Good son-in-law, happy family.

Amazon.com: Wireless Headphones

[island911]

or get yourself some Bose QC20's ...and then some QC 15' to put over those. (cone-o-silence)

[Bill Douglas]

We all get a bit deaf sometime, I SAID WE ALL GET A BIT DEAF SOMETIME.

When my GF mumbles or speaks to quietly, I say to her "Sorry I only speak English", or "Was ist das auf English bitte" to wind her up

[MRM]

I come from a family who too it as a law of nature that when visiting relatives you had to stay with them, no matter what the space limitations. I swore I would change that when I grew up. One of my best friends from college got married to a woman from Texas who was one of five kids. Her dad was reasonably well off, retired, and was able to build a big house because the cost of construction isn't so high down there. He insisted on building five bedrooms, each with its own bathroom - one for each kid.

He explained that he knew that he did well in life, that family was important to him, and that he received great joy from having his family around. So he decided to use his money in a way that gave him pleasure by encouraging his family to visit and stay with him. He designed the house to make it comfortable so they would want to come visit.

He said that you need to feel comfortable in order to want to stay with someone, and being comfortable means you have to have your own space, someplace you can retreat to and have as your own and put your junk, and especially a bathroom of your own.I really like that philosophy and try to make guests comfortable and have their own space as much as possible. I vote for separate TV rooms for the grandparents. Preferably segregated by residual hearing ability.

Another secret to successful visits is a clean dishwasher. You always go through a ton of dishes when you have company. Keeping the dishwasher empty so that the second someone is done with their glass you can tuck it away out of sight in the dishwasher just keeps everything so much more pleasant.

[Nostril Cheese]

I miss my father every day. I'd give anything to see him again.

[Nostril Cheese]

Originally Posted by Baz

My neighbors are drinkers and smokers and her voice is so grating and she laughs like a macaw and is always in a great mood yelling out at everyone as they go by our road. Think Fran Dresher laugh.

This would drive me to kill, I must admit...

[matt f]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

I miss my father every day. I'd give anything to see him again.

Well said NC.

I would relish the opportunity to have more time with my Dad.

Perspective, my friends, perspective.

The alternative is not good.

[biosurfer1]

losing sense of smell isn't much better. Love my g-ma to death but we can smell her for days, literally, for DAYS after she leaves. Her sense of smell is just about gone and she keeps spraying her perfume until she can smell it...which is about the same time dead people can smell it too.

[Bill Douglas]

Well, it could be the other way around GF's extended family like staying here. They have stacks of money but are so mean they don't even turn up with a cheap bottle of wine to say thanks. They drink like fish when I open a bottle. Whenever I stay at someones place I take them all out to dinner somewhere nice but they never do. Argh, the one who is staying tonight, on a previous stay I suggested we all go to a restaurant. At the end of the meal she rushes up to the counter and says "I'll pay for the one this, and the one..." All of her family are like that. F***ing sickens me.

[john70t]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

Loud sharp noises make me tense up. Bright lights stress me, I hate overhead lighting, prefer indirect diffused lighting.

We get used to a certain daily environment, then have to adjust.
Not easy for some.

Some are used to honking/tires/yelling/trains/etc in that it's perfectly normal.

Not that it's always a bad thing, but the brain can either choose between protesting or tuning out:
Autism Treatment
Many children with Autism also suffer from sensitivities to sound and/or light.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by biosurfer1

losing sense of smell isn't much better. Love my g-ma to death but we can smell her for days, literally, for DAYS after she leaves. Her sense of smell is just about gone and she keeps spraying her perfume until she can smell it...which is about the same time dead people can smell it too.

There's a department store chain here called Bealls and it caters to the lifestyle of Floridians - especially retirees (aka old folks!). I usually only buy two things there - Weekender shorts and Crocs. I ran in today to see if they had a pair of Crocs in my size and just in that 3 minutes I was in there....I almost gagged after passing by two different women whose "perfume" was applied to industrial standards!

I will never understand the thought process of dousing yourself with that foul stench thinking it somehow enhances your external persona.

[Bugsinrugs]

Originally Posted by biosurfer1

losing sense of smell isn't much better. Love my g-ma to death but we can smell her for days, literally, for DAYS after she leaves. Her sense of smell is just about gone and she keeps spraying her perfume until she can smell it...which is about the same time dead people can smell it too.

This. My mother in law is turning ninty. Still smokes and drinks. She is in fantastic shape but her choice of perfume makes me gag.

[HardDrive]

Sounds like a job for whiskey.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

I miss my father every day. I'd give anything to see him again.

Originally Posted by matt f

Well said NC.

I would relish the opportunity to have more time with my Dad.

Perspective, my friends, perspective.

The alternative is not good.

You guys are of course right.

Have to keep things in perspective.